Cues

Well tonight I'm eternally grateful for my seemingly good health.


Two weeks ago today I started having alot of dull pain in my lower right abdomen, in the area of my right ovary.  I chalked it up to the fact that I was probably ovulating as it had been 15 days since my period....so right on time.  I have had more discomfort with ovulation ever since I delivered Tate.  I can almost always tell which side I ovulate on as it's a bit sore/tender.  But this was much different.  It was really uncomfortable.  Advil helped, so I gobbled them down.  And of course the very morning I started hurting I had read an article in the 'O' magazine about a woman who had been on some sort of international trip and had a dull ache in her ovaries and turned out to have ovarian cancer.  


Cue my anxiety.


I really thought the discomfort would go away and it did to an extent, but it was still very present.  Just not as intense.  So I decided to ride it out and NOT google ovarian cancer on the internet.  That lasted about 48 hours.  I googled it.


Cue my paranoia.


Apparently the symptoms of ovarian cancer are pretty ambiguous.  I also managed to conveniently  forget briefly that I had a history of ovarian cysts from less than 2 years ago.  I was having such issues with heavy periods and clotting that I had a diagnostic ultrasound and a biopsy and all was normal save the large cysts.  How could I have forgotten this?  So while reading about ovarian cancer I noted that the many websites included cysts in their differential diagnosis.


Cue my light bulb to go off.


So, off I go to google ovarian cysts.  And lo and behold they can rupture and cause all kinds of pain and be a bit of a hazard to one's health.


Cue my freak out button.


I gobbled down my Advil and went about my days though.  The discomfort was there, but not getting worse.  I thought about calling my ob/gyn, but get this I'm so distraught about having to get weighed and disappointing my ob/gyn (I've been seeing her since I was 14 when I had some medical issues,  she is like a mom to me...she's just fantastic) that I didn't want to go in.  Isn't that just absurd.  What the hell?  I'm a grown woman, granted a grown woman making poor food choices, but a grown woman.  


Cue my frustration with myself.


Then last Thursday I felt better.  The pain wasn't constant.  I thought I was in the clear.  Then BAM Friday I was feeling so much worse, now this wasn't debilitating, just most unpleasant and worse after sitting/laying down for a period of time that I got worried again.   I finally called my doc's office but they close early on Fridays, and I had missed them.


Cue my guilt for putting this off.


And then much to my surprise my period started on Saturday, 5 days early.  That in and itself confused me greatly, and my cycle length has been getting shorter and shorter each month....is this perimenopause?


Cue my disbelief!


So then the cramping and the headaches come along with the bowel disruption!  And the lingering pain in my belly.  More Advil ingested.  Monday I called and left a message for the triage nurse for an appointment with my doc today.  She was really kind, but she couldn't reassure me that nothing was wrong.


Cue my nervous waiting.


The week progressed uneventfully.  The pain has subsided quite a bit, but every now and then it's back.  So today I saw my beloved Dr. K.  She did a pelvic exam and an ultrasound.  She's awesome and always points everything out to me on the u/s.  I got to see my cute little ovaries and my fabulous uterus! Everything was in working order.  I didn't have any discomfort when she did her external or internal exam.  And she saw no cysts either or any evidence that any had ruptured though she said it could be a possibility but it was not within the past 3-4 days.  My ovaries look great she said, just some follicles present (eggs).  She decided that it was probably just normal menstrual discomfort and my ovaries were stretching quite a bit causing a muscle type ache.  Her only other concern was appendicitis, but as I'm having no other symptoms of that...fever, nausea, vomiting etc...she feels that can be ruled out.  I've been sent home with orders to sleep on the opposite from where the pain is, take Aleve (as opposed to Advil), apply heat the offending area and to have another baby.  


ANOTHER BABY?!?! 


YEP! ANOTHER BABY!!


She has been on me to have another baby and soon since my well woman exam in March.  She just thinks I need 2!  But unless she's going to be my live-in nanny, doula, housekeeper, cook, chauffeur and wet nurse it's not happening.


I am to call back if the pain worsens or isn't significantly better in 3-4 weeks and get a referral to a GI doc.  I'm confident though that this is what she says it is...my ovaries just working hard and me being much more in tune with my body since delivering Tate.


Cue my relief.

So tonight I'm taking the many cues God has given me to work on getting my health back on track.  A few weeks ago, I got a little whisper when after my physical my cholesterol came back high (no real shock) necessitating pharmaceutical intervention.  Now this.  I've got to take much better care of this body that I've been given to inhabit on this beautiful earth.  Tate deserves to have a mother for many, many, many years in good health who can play with him, run around with him, teach him how to ride a bike, how to drive a car, how to hold a door for a woman, how to raise his own kids.  I love this baby too much to live my life in fear.  Neither of us deserves that.  So it's time to get started.  This is going to be a great ride!


Cue my determination.