Walking in Memphis

I'm enjoying a little peace and quiet in my hotel room here in Memphis.  I'm flying out tomorrow morning at 6:15am to head back to Houston.  (Everyone else is on a noon flight.)  The trip has thankfully not been as hard as I thought.  I've been able to relax a bit and try to enjoy myself.  I stayed awake for most of the lectures :) and I've done the social thing :).  I'm all around pretty pleased with how things went.

Thursday evening when we arrived we were picked up by a driver for our drive into the city.  He was an endearing older gentleman who is very proud of his city and hometown.  (His wife was along for the ride as well!)  He gave us a brief history of the city as he drove us into downtown Memphis.  Just before he dropped us off at our hotel he drove us by the National Civil Rights Museum.  As we drove around the corner to reach the museum I looked up and saw this...

My heart just went still.  I realized immediately that I was looking at the place where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot and killed.  On my boarding pass earlier that day I had noticed that one of the places recommended to visit in Memphis was the National Civil Rights Museum, and I was a bit intrigued, but I gave it no thought.  I simply didn't know that this place, this holy place (for me) was the grounds for the National Civil Rights Museum.  I asked Roy, our driver, if we could stop so I could get out.  I walked as close as I could get to stand below Rm 306 where Dr. King had stayed that early April 1968.

 I cannot express my emotions as I stood there in that chilly Memphis night looking up at that balcony.  The picture we've all seen of Dr. King's prone body on the ground with the men kneeling and standing beside his body is one that is ingrained in my mind.  I can see them all pointing towards where the bullet that struck down Dr. King came from.  It was almost as if I was there that April 4th.

As everyone else was waiting for me, I made my way back to the van and we headed on to the hotel.  We got checked in and had dinner in the hotel dining room.  We were all starving and exhausted.

I slept like a baby!  I usually wake up at 530 even when Tate stays at my parents' house, but not this time!  I slept until 630 and snoozed until 7!

We attended the lecture for the morning session, ate lunch then we headed off to the National Civil Rights Museum.  Unfortunately, we were unable to go into the hotel (which has not been open to the public since 1982) as it's under renovation, but we were able to go into the boarding house from where James Earl Ray is said to have shot that fatal bullet.  It was a sobering place to enter.  The bathroom from where he is believed to have shot from has not been altered since that day.  Much of the evidence found in the boarding house as well as in the area has been kept and is on display, including Dr. King's autopsy report and the slug that was removed from his body.  

Arriving in Memphis in late March 1968. 

The room James Earl Ray stayed in.

 Here is the view James Earl Ray had of the Lorraine Motel from the bathroom...

The bathroom.

Unchanged.

I've zoomed in on the view.

I left the museum almost in tears;  there were many videos about the entire civil rights movement starting with the first African slaves being brought to the states to footage of Emmit Till's murder, footage of the murders of James Chaney, Michael Schwerner and Andrew Goodman to Nelson Mandela's fight against Apartheid in South Africa.  

I will definitely be returning here with Tate.  I'd love for my dad to join us as well as my mother.  One point that I've definitely taken to heart was one commentator saying that those times of the Civil Rights Movement was not fun, it was not people holding hands, singing songs fighting for a cause.  It was downright scary, horrific, brutal and inhumane.  It is unfathomable what one human can do to another.  And Tate needs to know of whence he came.

I made my way across the street to see the place where Dr. King was killed in the daylight.  I will never be the same.

Of note as well is that I met Jacqueline Smith on my way to the museum.  I had googled the museum the night before and her name came up.  She was a housekeeper at the motel since 1973 and when the motel was finally closed in 1982 she refused to leave and had to be forcibly removed.  For the past 26 years she has kept vigil outside the motel in protest of the museum, as she feels the motel should be kept as low income housing for the poor in honor of Dr. King's work.  (that's a very quick synopsis)  Anyway, as I walked up to the motel I saw a woman sitting at a table.  I asked her if she knew Jacqueline Smith.  Imagine my surprise when she said she was Jacqueline Smith.  We chatted briefly and I was impressed with her passion and conviction.   

History.  My history.  

For this experience alone I'm more than glad I came to Memphis.

We took the trolley back to The Peabody Hotel to have a drink and rest.  We sat in the lobby and relaxed all while waiting for the apparently all exciting March of the Ducks.  I had never heard of this, nor had I heard of the hotel, but it's a huge deal, so we hung out and watched. :)

Sleepy duck!

We headed back to our hotel via Beale Street...

Everyone got changed and we meandered off to dinner at Spindini...yummy!

We came home with full bellies and slept well.  Yep again I slept like a baby!!!

Another morning and early afternoon of lecture, then we headed out to enjoy a lovely afternoon drink on Beale Street while enjoying some live music.  While at some random bar we were treated to some young men doing acrobatics on Beale Street...

After a couple of drinks we headed off for some fantastic bar-b-q.  It was a lovely lovely evening.  Everyone else stayed downstairs to have one more drink in the hotel bar, but I opted to come upstairs and get packed for my trip home to my sweet boy tomorrow!

My sweet boy who has apparently had a great time with Grandmommy, Papa and Aunt Lindsey!

Grandmommy and Papa saved Aunt Lindsey from being kicked last night since Papa slept with Tate.  This morning Aunt Lindsey apparently had a fantastic 6 mile run.  Grandmommy and Papa took Tate to soccer then met Lindsey for lunch at Tate's favorite place. They even sent me pics of the happy boy!

Then Grandmommy and Papa were off to ride the zoo train with my little guy who was thrilled!  He told them he wanted to buy me a present....sooooo sweet.

And promptly opened it when he got home...

It's the thought that counts isn't it?

Three Sleeps

I'm writing this from my hotel room in Memphis, Tennessee.  The Westin Hotel right around the corner from Beale Street.  I arrived here last night for a 2 day continuing education class.

Without Tate.

I'm on my first trip without Tate.

My first time to leave the state without Tate.

My first time to be more than 28 miles away from Tate.

I spent the last week incredibly stressed, worried, scared, heartbroken, excited and ambivalent.

My fantastic sister Lindsey picked him up from daycare yesterday and stayed with him at our house.  My parents came to the house this morning to take him to swim lessons then back to daycare.  The plan was for Lindsey to pick him up from daycare and spend the night at my place with him again tonight with my parents arriving tomorrow morning in time for her to go running in the am and get him off to his 11:15 soccer class then spend the day with him and night at my place.

However, Lindsey had a horrible time sleeping with Tate last night (apparently, he's a bit of a kicker!), so my parents came over this evening, and my dad is sleeping with him tonight :).  Isn't my dad absolutely awesome???  Lindsey and my mom are sleeping downstairs in Tate's room.  I love my family...they are just so amazing.  I know it would have been easier if Tate was sleeping in his own room, so I'm definitely going to have to help him make this transition to his own bed.

So, yesterday I worked until noon, then ran home to do a few last minute things.  My house was covered with little notes and instructions for everyone :)...my anal retentiveness and need for control reach across state lines.  But I can say I do all that to try to make is so much easier for everyone.

After last minute packing and a quick run to the drug store I stopped by Tate's school to say good-bye.  He was sound asleep!  My kid who never naps at school was out!!!  (This did not bode well for an easy night for Aunt Lindsey with him!).  I gently woke him up with hugs and cuddles.  I gave him the chocolate covered pretzel I had from Valentine's Day and we hung out in the hallway.  I got a hug and a kiss and I walked out to my car and drove to the airport.

I had thought I would cry, but I held it together.  I also don't think Tate really realized what was happening or how long he would be without me.  I had told him I would be gone for three sleeps and that he was going to have tons of fun with his Aunt Lindsey and grandparents.  He seemed ok with it.  That's the reason I wanted him to stay at his own house and be in his normal routine.  It was important to me that as much as possible stayed 'normal'. I think that's the biggest 'problem' for kids of single parents; when that single parent leaves they often not only have their only parent gone, but they also have to leave their routine by staying with someone else.  Who knows?  He probably would have been fine staying at my parents', but I thought this would be easier.

For both of us.

I face-timed with him yesterday evening and he seemed happy to talk to me.  I spoke with his teacher today and he was a bit weepy at naptime apparently, and they were worried it was because I was gone, so they tried to help him through it a bit.  So I didn't talk to him today worried it would only upset him.

I am doing ok.  I 110% did not want to come on this trip.  For obvious reasons, of course;  I didn't want to be this far from Tate.

Also, I didn't want to come because I basically came because all the other docs in the practice were coming and I didn't want to feel any more left out than I already do.  I felt like I 'had' to come, if that makes sense.  Part of me also thought if I left Tate for the first time to do something I wasn't all that thrilled about that I wouldn't feel so bad.  Because I feel like if I had left to do something 'fun' that I would feel bad for having a good time....isn't that the most warped thinking EVER?

So, I'm here in Memphis.  It hasn't been all that bad though.  I miss his little face, his hugs, his smiles and just him.  But it is nice to be able to sleep in a bed all by myself.  It's nice to have the television on in a hotel room :).  I'm watching 'The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon' and loving it!! JT is on!!!!!!

I've had a better time that I anticipated which is really nice.  I don't have alot in common with my friends who I'm here with...none of them have kids, two are just barely 30, the other 4 are my age or a bit older.  They all go out to eat to hip and trendy restaurants, are partnered/coupled, watch adult television.  The younger ones are living the life I lived at their age, and I hope they LOVE it like I did.  The older ones are just continuing to live the life I lived.  I don't consider myself the mom who only wants mom friends because I don't want that.  I strive to make sure I have fun without my child and enjoy my life as a daughter, friend and sister.  I try so hard not be be defined as being a mom only because I realize that in just a few short years, and I mean like 3-4 years!, Tate will be pulling away from me to enjoy his life as his own person.  I don't want to be home wondering where all my friends are.  I don't want to be lonely because I didn't foster these relationships that were so important to me before he was born.  I don't want to have my empty nest, because I truly believe the empty nest can start when your child is 7 or 8.  I love these awesome women and men who add so much love, joy and happiness to my life.  

Just like my sweet boy.  He adds so much joy, love and happiness to my life!!  

Two more sleeps!!  Two more sleeps!!

Lindsey texted me this picture this evening.  Apparently the kids made gold
medals today in school in honor of the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics.
I cannot wait to see this boy in TWO SLEEPS!!!

February Fun!

This is going to be a happy post!!  I want lots of happy tonight!  It's Valentine's Weekend!  A weekend dedicated to love.  And I have lots of love in my life...I am blessed beyond measure.

We've had a low key month.  Just alot of Tate and me, which I love.

We've gone to our favorite restaurant several times...aka The French Fry Place according to Tate.

Asparagus...yum??

We went to the local pottery place where he painted Nemo as I just let him watch 'Finding Nemo' for the first time earlier this month here at home.  He was so excited, though he got very bored about halfway through and wondered why it was taking so long to find Nemo because "He's right there Mommy!"

I didn't help him hardly at all except to make sure he painted three coats.  He even had to tell me to not take the Nemo away when I thought he was done because he needed to do the black stripes!!  We picked up his projects today!  (He made the ice cream cone for me!  Sweet boy!)

It's a piggy bank!  And he's already
earned his first quarter for it by helping
me unload the dishwasher today!

He's had soccer every Saturday morning which he likes I would say somewhat.  He spends alot of time 'falling down' and complaining that noone will give him the ball...um that's the point of the game little boy.  He's a great fast dribbler, but has little to no control over the ball, so goes out of bounds, alot.  I'm so damn competitive that I probably need to not go to games etc because I don't find the 4 year olds' cluelessness cute; it annoys me greatly.  At least I can admit it, right?

 

He absolutely loves, loves, loves going to the library!  And with a mom who is a book lover this is music to my ears.  Also, I must say my little boy who is just 4 1/2 years old can actually read.  He is reading!  I cannot believe it.  He sounds out the words carefully, amazingly doesn't get frustrated (though I imagine this might change) and just read away.  And I'm not talking about memorized stories; he's reading new stories.  Sure I have to help him with several words..he got stuck on 'people' today as well as 'wires', 'sound' and a few more that he doesn't know how to sound out, but basic words enough to read some basic books...he's got it!  He's breezing through the BOB books Set One and he loves the  Starfall website.  He's already through #10 on that webpage...we were able to skip to the 'Learn to Read' part of the site!

He had to spend a day at one of the private schools I'm applying to.  They wanted to see how he would fit in with the existing class as well as administer an admission test.  He seemed to do just fine.  The nurse gave him the test, then gave him a roll of smarties, so he was a very happy boy...I was not happy about the candy, but oh well.  He did just great though at drop-off at 745am.  One of the students in the class he joined was assigned to be his buddy for the day...he ate lunch with Tate, shared his cubby with Tate, played with Tate...he was there to make sure Tate wasn't alone ever.  Tate told me this little boy was his new best friend!  LOL!  Of course he was, Tate.  He was basically paid to be your friend :).

Here we are at drop-off.

We've had a couple of days where he didn't want to be left at daycare :( but when he watches me through the window it's usually all better.  The drop-offs are usually only hard when his buddy K isn't there yet!!

But he loves his friends!

Last week I had my annual slumber party here at the house...massages, good friends, lots of laughs and love, chick flicks (though we had the Olympics on this time) and an all around good time.  Tate spent the night with his Papa, and he was absolutely thrilled!  He had his suitcase packed the night before.  However, he woke up in Papa's bed at 2am and decided he was up for the day!  My poor daddy!  They had had a great afternoon and night on Saturday night;  Tate went down to sleep with not a peep.  My dad did say he woke up congested and had a hard time breathing.  When I finally woke up at 8:45am on Sunday (I have not slept that late since Tate was born...I kid you not!) I called to check on them.  Needless to say, my mom and I were at their house by 10:15 am to save my poor dad.  Tate was an absolute disaster of tiredness the rest of the day.  He did take a 90 minute nap in the car, but it wasn't enough.  But as always we made it through!

They're off!

We had Tate's allergy testing about a week ago as well.  They tested for peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame, eggs and oranges.  He didn't respond to the eggs and oranges!! Hooray!!  So we have to go back for a food challenge on those.  I've got my fingers crossed.  However, he failed the peanuts and tree nuts test horribly...way huger reaction than he ever had to the eggs and oranges.  I'm not optimistic that he'll grow out of this allergy, but I will be praying fervently that he does.  He'll be re-tested for those in a year.  He was pricked 14 times...he was a trooper; didn't start crying until about the 7th stick.  Such a sweet boy!

Doesn't he look so very little?

We've had some fun here at home.  I made sliders for the first time, and he seemed to enjoy them.

 As always he plays with his trains constantly.  At one point I noticed he was moving the majority of them, along with some other toys into the dining room; I paid minimal attention.  A couple hours later he ran over to the tv armoire saying "I've got to get them a movie Mommy."  "Ok Tate!"  Thought nothing of it.  Later that night after he was in bed I was pushing the chairs back under the table and saw this:

All the toys and trains are watching the movie!!!  LOL!  So creative my kid!!!

The cat is loving the sunlight that has finally returned today!  Sweet Vinnie!

Then yesterday was Valentine's Day!  Of course his school had a big to-do!  It seems like it was just lovely!  All the classes had parties and the director took some amazing pictures of the kiddos!  Tate had a blast...I made sure to send a vegan Crave cupcake in for him and he was able to participate in the party festivities once he arrived after swim lessons.  My mom took him to swim lessons for me as I had to work this rare Friday...we had two 'snow' days here in Houston this month!!  It's been unseasonably cold across the country and we had to make up the day.  Anyway, he made it in time for all the party fun!!!

Here are his breakfast valentines from me (I made the card at the slumber party!)  Inside the bag was a Little Einsteins DVD (it include the episode 'Go West Young Train' :) ) and a chocolate lollipop and two chocolate covered pretzels!

My mom made him the red card at the party, and the
other is from a friend!

This is the box 'he' made for his valentines at school.  It's just gorgeous!  I love it...his teacher took alot of time to make these for us...I'm forever grateful...

A face only a mother could love :)

Here's my sweet boy with his band of brothers...

These boys are pretty inseparable.  I love how they love one another.  

Oh how I love this one...