3

Cancer Sucks.

Tonight I'm so very saddened for 3 friends.  One is one of my oldest, dearest friends, my sorority sister, my original sunshine.  We were inseparable for many years.  And to this day, though we rarely talk and even more rarely see one another I still feel a connection.  True Friendship.  True Love.

She has breast cancer.

Today she had surgery.  A double mastectomy with reconstruction.  This should take care of it.  There was no spreading.  She doesn't have the brca gene.  

But I'm scared.  

Another sweet friend's mother passed away yesterday after a years long battle with Lymphoma.  Nothing worked, at least not for very long.  I started my day off crying on the phone with my sweet friend just 1 1/2 hours after her mother had passed on.

I'm sad.

An acquaintance, an SMC I've yet to have the pleasure to meet just found out her mommy has a tumor in her bladder today.  They're just beginning this journey into the unknown.

I'm melancholy.

3.  The power of 3.  Wow.

Tonight I'm ever so grateful that my 3 year old was in such a fabulous mood.  He was happy and full of hugs and kisses at pick-up.  He wanted to race in the grass outside school with his mommy which I obliged.  He scarfed down his dinner ... broccoli, milk, broccoli/kale puffs and ok,  a hotdog.  He followed those up with a fudgsicle...a Coconut milk one which he loved and I loved because it's very low in sugar, and no artificial junk.  He happily played with his trains after dinner including me in his fun, raced his fire truck around, rode another fire truck, played in the tub while I showered in the shower next to him and cuddled a bit while asking me to sing Christmas songs.  All of this interspersed with questions about Jesus and His upcoming birthday.  

Another 3...The Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

I'm surrounded tonight.  So, with a heavy heart I am going to pray for my dear friend J and a quick recovery, my sweet friend S for God's healing during this so very difficult time and for my new friend, A for hope and guidance over the next few weeks.

The College Years...J and J

More Thanks!

Tate and I had a really fantastic Thanksgiving with our family;  I'm so thankful that we can come together as a family with minimal drama and little arguing and just be together.

Friday, the 23rd I was grateful that Tate still loves his stroller.  Lindsey, my mom and I decided to head off to the mall around 12:30 just for fun...we really didn't need anything, though Lindsey was looking to buy a couple of presents for friends if she found anything.  We got out of the car and I told Tate he needed to take a nap in his stroller.  Happily he climbed in and asked me to recline the seat!  He was asleep within 15 minutes and slept for over an hour!  From what I'm told by friends not many kids his age will sit in strollers.

The Stroller Sleeper!

The Shoppers!

Saturday, the 24th Tate woke to find I had brought our Christmas tree upstairs the night before.  I'm so grateful that God has blessed me with the beautiful child to share this wondermous season with.  His pure excitement and joy make my heart so full I can barely stand how happy he makes me.

Vincent's new napping spot!

What he chose from the $1 bin at Target

Of course we had to get Belle!

Sunday, the 25th I was so thankful that Tate and I had spent the entire weekend almost just the two of us and had a really fantastic time together.  Few meltdowns, yelling by each of us only once and few tears that couldn't be solved with a kiss or some gentle understanding by me.  The only time we truly spent with someone else was yesterday afternoon when we went to the park with a friend and her 3 year old son.  They ended up only staying 15 minutes, but Tate and I stayed for an hour and a half (I even met a dad who wants us to get our boys together again soon as he's looking for a buddy for his son!  How sweet!)  So 48 hours of togetherness.  He napped on me for an hour and 50  minutes on Saturday...ahhhh...the snuggles of my child against my chest while I snoozed as well.  We did venture to Target on Saturday, but we hung out together for that :)  Otherwise we were home, playing, decorating, dancing, sleeping together, watching trains and Christmas shows and just enjoying one another.   I'm apparently one of the few SMCs who was dreading Monday and the separation.

And Monday rolled around.  Tate woke up happily and went to school happily.  Of course BFF, L, was back from his ski vacation which had Tate practically bouncing off the wall.  I'm so thankful he has friends he loves and a place he feels safe when we're apart.

Learning HIS Colors

Tonight in the bathtub Tate was rubbing his belly.   (Such a cute little belly it is!)  He asked me...

"What color is this?"

And I fumbled for a second and said...

"What color do you think it is?"

He said...

"It's brown.  My skin is brown.  Your skin is brown too."

I said...

"Yes it is.  I like being brown.  I think brown is pretty, do you?"

In a disinterested voice...

"yeah"

Then he laid back, closed his eyes and floated in the bathtub.

THANKSGIVING 2012

 A PICTURESQUE THANKSGIVING

What I'm most thankful for!

Thanksgiving Parade with Papa!

Craft time with Cousin Scotty!

Making their turkeys!

His JJ Watt face!

TEXANS WIN!!  10-1!

The Family!

Kisses for Mommy! 

She loves her mommy!

Watching his first television cartoon...'A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving'

That Charlie Brown is so funny!

Why are those people yelling at me to go tell my
Mommy to buy that stuff??

Yay!  Snoopy is back on!

So. Much. Fun.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

Thanksgiving Eve

Tonight Tate and I are at my parents' house for the night.  I worked until 2 today while Tate toiled away at school, not napping.  Daycare was pretty empty today, with less than half their normal number of teachers needed with so many kids able to be home with their parents for this long holiday week.  I'm ever so grateful to have a job, a job that pays me well and a job that does a great service to many little people.  And this job, this 'career' has afforded me the opportunity to travel all over this gorgeous planet, afforded me most anything I could ever want materially and afforded me the ability to have a child on my own without really worrying about how I would have paid to try to have him had I needed to (Though to put myself in that kind of debt put me in a tailspin when I knew I would consider IVF had I not gotten pregnant on my own.  I had been debt free for over 5 years with the exception of my home when I decided to try to have a baby.  And I have had no credit card debt for almost 9 years.  Taking out a loan yet again was heartwrenching, but I would have done anything, anything to have a child)

Yet, it haunts me to have to drop off my child and be separated from him when the holidays 'begin', even knowing the holiday doesn't really start until tomorrow.  But I want this prep time with him.  I want to sit down and hang out before the craziness tomorrow, knowing our get together will be FAR from crazy with the few of us.  

So, I raced out of the office as soon as I could, ran home and changed and picked up the last of the goodies I needed for my parents' and tomorrow's feast.  I picked up sweet Baby Tate and we went to see Santa Claus.  We've gone every year to see the same Santa since he was born at the mall by my parents' house.  There is never anyone else there visiting with Santa.  The first year we just stumbled upon him, my mom, Tate and I and got a great picture, because of course that's all it's about that first year.  Ever since we've gone back.  He is the best Santa EVER!

2009

2010

2011

2012

Tate was a little hesitant when we pulled into the parking lot today.  Well, he was exhausted from his no nap, so that's probably why when I said we were going to see Santa he screeched "I don't want to see Santa Claus!"  By the time we got to the mall he was sound asleep.  I got him up and out of the carseat and into the stroller so he could continue resting.  Amazingly, he wasn't whiny at all.  We made our way to Santa, and there was absolutely no line.  Noone else waiting to see Santa Claus.  Tate hopped out of the stroller and told me (yelped with glee) that he was going to go tell Santa about his trains.  He was gone with a flash.  I got the stroller situated and came around the corner and saw my sweet son ensconced on Santa's lap happy as could be.  Now he wasn't saying anything, but he was so happy.  I asked him if he told Santa what he wanted for Christmas and he immediately got shy.  But Santa pointed to Tate's shirt and said "Oh he told me!"And this sweet, gentle man remembered me and my son.  He said "You two came to see me again this year!! He's gotten so very tall."  As Tate sat on his Santa's lap, Santa and I talked about his 4 sons, his 5 grandsons and his 2 granddaughters.  It was a very special moment on this very hectic, long, long day.  

So today I'm so grateful that I opted to take Tate to see Santa Claus.  Though I know Christmas isn't for weeks I am so glad we have the opportunity to spend some real time with Santa Claus.  I'm thinking that next year we'll bring him some cookies, and I'll really play it up for Tate.  I didn't mention to him that we were going until yesterday, and I don't think he quite gets the whole Santa Claus idea, but I know he will after we get our tree up and go have breakfast with Santa next week.  I actually had hesitated to go today because I didn't want the experience to simply be about a photo-op;  I wanted Tate to enjoy himself.

I shouldn't have worried.  Santa made it oh so very special for my Tate.

Thanksgiving Week

Today I'm thankful we have Aunt Lindsey in our lives.  If every single mama had an Aunt Lindsey, life would be a breeze.  She picked sweet Tate up from daycare for me today, as by looking at my patient schedule I knew there was a good chance I'd leave late today. (the bane of the existence of the single parent...leaving work late, chancing a late pick-up from daycare.)  He was thrilled as always and I know he was safe and happy.  That's all any mother can ask for.

Yesterday, I was grateful that Tate still loves riding the train at the zoo.  Not because I just love going there all the time, but because he's such a trooper.  Most kids who fall out of a train while it's in motion would probably shy away from getting back on said train.  But not my Tate!  Though he fell off the moving train at his own birthday party, he has been just fine to ride the same train as often as I will take him!  I'm happy to do so because it makes him so very happy.

Saturday Morning with Tate

This morning I'm ever so thankful that Tate is actually a pretty low-key little guy.  He entertains himself, feeds himself and watches tv (a real treat!) alone.  Case in point...this morning I opted to wash my hair...not a quick process.  I settled him down with his breakfast on the second floor and went on downstairs to wash my hair which takes about 20 minutes.  He wandered down once to complain that his elbow hurt, but other than that stayed upstairs and ate.  While I was drying and straightening my hair I let him watch trains on YouTube until he tired of them...usually takes about 15 minutes then he watched a bit of Mickey Mouse.  Now he's happily playing on the floor with his Thomas trains.  My hair is done, the kitchen is clean and I'm about to get dressed.

We're off to Music Class!

Thankful

Tonight I'm thankful for more patience.  And I'm sure Tate is as well :)

Yesterday, I was thankful that Tate went right to sleep. 

Wednesday I was ever so thankful that my neighbor Kristin took such great care of sweet Vincent for us while we were gone.  I actually forgot to arrange someone to take care of him before I left, so I called her in a panic and as usual she came through.  She is the BEST NEIGHBOR EVER!!!

Friday in NYC 2012

Friday morning found Tate and I cuddled up, well me trying to cuddle and him wanting to watch trains on my phone, at 6:25am.  I handed over the phone and let him watch a couple of videos of trains, just regular, real steam trains on YouTube for about 30 minutes while everyone else continued to sleep, myself included (I dozed).  The apartment slowly came awake around 7:30.  Tate and A played a bit, Lindsey washed her hair and Silke and I blearily made breakfast for the kiddos.  I had picked up some plain yogurt the night before as we walked home from Columbia (where we saw the snow) from a farmer's market for Tate.  I had brought some of his oatmeal and picked up Cheerios the night before as well.  Well the yogurt looked different (shocking!), so that was a no go.  But he gobbled up the oatmeal and cheerios!

Lindsey, Tate and I got dressed for a day out in Manhattan.  We had some fun planned!!!  First up grabbing a cab to take us uptown!  Tate was thrilled!  He sat between Lindsey and me and had to touch everything (EWWW! :) )  He kept saying he was riding in a police car (how he knows what the back of a police car looks like is beyond me, but they do always have that plastic screen in them just like cabs.)

First stop....FAO SCHWARZ!!  Tate and I have been here before, but he was not quite 2.  He had a blast then, so I knew he would have even more fun this time.  Here he is dancing on the Big Piano, a la the movie 'Big.'

After he made some music he of course found some trains...

We then behaved like true New Yorkers and walked to Serendipity 3 for some lunch and Frozen Hot Chocolate!  Yum-o!  Tate thought the frozen hot chocolate was the best thing ever, though the pictures appear differently.

What do you mean I'm supposed to share?

Look at that face!!!

We then bundled Tate back up and enjoyed another cab ride downtown to the World Trade Center.  My mom, Marcus and Aunt Lynette (Marcus' mom, my mom's sister) came in from the Bronx on the train and met us, so we could all go see the 9/11 Memorial.  I won't even try to explain what each part of the Memorial means or represents because I could not do it justice.  So, click here for an explanation.  Walking into the plaza it's overwhelming to know you are walking on hallowed ground.  A place where so many of our fellow Americans perished not only on 9/11/2001, but also on 2/26/1993.  Seeing the names of each and every one brought a chill to my soul.  We shall never forget.  May God rest their souls and keep their loved ones wrapped in His arms of consolation.

Waiting in line for about an hour while Tate snoozed.

 

We left the Memorial, my mom, aunt and cousin caught the train back to the Bronx.  Tate, Lindsey and I grabbed a cab back to Silke's.  Lindsey made her way to the train station in Harlem on 125th to catch the commuter train up to Stamford, Connecticut to hang out with a friend for the weekend.  Tate and A played trains, read books and had fun while Silke and I arranged her new rugs and enjoyed another glass of wine.  Dinner was ordered for the adults, made for the kiddos and then it was bath and bedtime!  Like Thursday night I fell asleep in the bed with Tate who fought going to sleep a bit this time, but finally passed out.  I wandered out to the living room and hung out with Silke for a while.  Then bed called my name!  Curled up with my babe and off to dreamland I went!