Home Again, Home Again. Jiggity Jig.

Well, we're back.  We actually just walked into our house about 30 minutes ago.  My parents picked us up and we are now back in the good ol' US of A.


Tate fell asleep in the stroller before we hit passport control, so around 6:10pm.  He napped on the plane about 1h 45m from 830a-1015a Houston time, but 330p-515p HIS Germany time.  So we landed at 1 am HIS time.  We shall see what the night holds.  I'm praying for a miracle here and that he sleeps until 5 or so.  That would make me do the dance of joy.


You may wonder what the hell I'm doing blogging.  


Though I am absolutely exhausted, I'm waiting for my Star Pizza to arrive because I am STARVING.  If I don't get some food in my belly, I will be even less able to deal with Tate if he wakes up.  And yes I desperately, desperately need some sleep.  Because let me just say...I am way more exhausted now than I was before our trip.


A vacation with your 2 1/2 year old is no vacation.  It's a trip.  At least for Tate and me.  He consistently woke up around his same time of 6/615 am after his sleep issues.  However, around 515a each and every morning he wakes just enough to fuss, complain in his sleep, cry out then roll back over and go to bed.  He does this in the room we shared on vacation :)  So guess who else woke up and gritted her teeth praying he would go back to sleep.  Yep!  You got it!


I'm emotionally spent.  Physically spent.  Spiritually spent.  


And leaving Christian or him leaving us is always so difficult.  That just about undoes me each time.  And this time was probably the hardest.  We're still trying so hard to find our way, and though we were together for 9 days and nights we only sat down the two of us to hang out for about 30 minutes last night and then today on the way to the airport.  


Alot of feelings going on between the two of us.


And Tate was in absolute love with 'his daddy.'


What are we going to do?


But right now I'm going to get dressed for bed (just had an awesome shower!), lay on the couch while I wait for my pizza and catch up on some blogs, and then hopefully be asleep by 9!  In my own....so very soft, American bed.


God Bless the USA.

Waiting to take off from Frankfurt.  Quite sad to be leaving Daddy. 

Asleep before we hit passport control...

On the car ride home...transferred from the stroller with ease.
The transfer to the crib on the third floor of our house...not so easy.
But he fell back asleep after being rocked for about 10 minutes.

Berlin!

Just a quick update.....


Tate, Christian and I arrived in Berlin Monday afternoon around 330pm after a very pleasant 4 1/2 train ride from Frankfurt.  Tate did amazingly well, not one single meltdown, not one tear, no periods of resistance to anything (and of course no nap :) )

Tate even made a new friend on the train!  As always such a flirt.


We got situated, did some shopping (and for two extremely picky Americans this was not easy or fun).


Yesterday the three of us went to the Berlin Zoo and Aquarium.

This morning Tate and I headed out on our own since Christian had to go to work.  This was quite the adventure.  It was much much much easier during my first 3 trips to Berlin (last of which was 2006...way pre-Tate).  No stroller which was actually the biggest problem today....how any country gets by with no allowance for people who go on wheels is beyond me.  Why does it seem America with all of her faults is one of the few who recognizes the worth of all her citizens, whether they are disabled or not.  Of course those of us with kids benefit hugely from the ADA.  All the ramps and elevators etc afford me an apparent luxury not so readily available here in Germany.  But I digress.  I will definitely revisit these thoughts when I return.


In any event, Tate and I had a great day.  I only lost my patience 4 or 5 times when we were turned around and he inevitably chose then to whine and complain about wanting 'candy'.  (Smarties)  He actually did really well on the tram, the subway and walking all the stairs for me.  It was about 85 degrees and nothing in this country is air-conditioned. 


We started off at Alexanderplatz and caught the train to Potsdamer Platz and made our way to Legoland.

He thought the giraffe was super cool!

Building a castle

So much fun!

Bounce spaces are universal for kids!

What kind of ADPi would I be if we didn't pose with the legolion?

 We then caught the subway back to Alexanderplatz and went to the SeaLife Aquadom after I had a quick lunch while he napped complete with a very yummy glass of Sauvignon Blanc at a cafe in the Sony Center.

Ummm...why can't I get in there?  He was quite upset he couldn't get in the water.

Look at that HUGE crab!!

This reminded me of Wally, the fish I swam with at the Great Barrier Reef!

We stopped off and picked up some Pommes Frittes to go for Tate and headed home.

We are both exhausted, and he's been in bed since 7:15...I'm off to join him.

Guten Tag

I've been MIA for a couple of weeks!  Though I know I did a quick post about Mother's Day I've been super busy packing for and planning our trip to Germany.  We have come over here to visit Christian and his family.  We arrived in Frankfurt on Friday late morning.  Tate was an absolute trooper on the plane ride...he slept 7 1/2 hours.  I had not factored in the fact that the plane lights would not go out until about 2 1/2 hours into our flight making it impossible for him to go to sleep with all the festive noise, movement and goings-on of the plane.

But Tate's sleep issues are another post.  I just wanted to post a couple of pics from our journey thus far. 

We landed in Frankfurt and stayed until this morning (Monday) with Christian's parents who think Tate (and seemingly I) hung the moon.  They are absolutely amazing, and though I speak no German and they speak a bit of English, it has felt like coming home.  Christian's sister and her husband planned their almost 8 month old son's baptism to fall on a day while Tate and I were here, so it was yesterday.    Christian, Tate and I left Frankfurt by train this morning for Berlin where Christian lives.  

I am presently sitting on Christian's balcony on the 4th floor (no elevator) enjoying a glass of wine and finishing off this post before I head off to bed.

Tate and his 'Opa' in their backyard.

Out and about on Friday afternoon in Dreiech (suburb of Frankfurt)

Tate meets his 'cousin' Phillip for the first time!!!  Sharing his trains!!

Tate insisted that Christian allow Tate to shower with him, then he wanted a towel just like 'Daddy'

Getting ready to go inside for the baptism

Church where Baby Phillip was baptized.

Yes I let Tate play in the sand after the ceremony!

Puzzles with 'Oma'

That's Tate with his head down next to Aunt Katha with Christian

On the OH SO FESTIVE train to Berlin!

Tate made friends with sweet Sophia on the train ride!!

Mother's Day Weekend 2012

A quick re-cap because I'm tired and we leave for Germany in less than 3 days!!  Yikes (and I just started packing TONIGHT!)


Friday morning, Grandmommy and Papa took Tate to swim lessons because I was working 8-2.  They dropped him off at daycare and continued on with their day.  I made a couple of stops on the way to pick up sweet Tate at 3 for his 3:30 barber appointment!


As always, Tate did just great and this time he even got his hair edged (or edge trimmed).  I'm not real sure what this is called or even what it is, but apparently it's a big deal at the barbershop.  Mr. Kirk was very impressed that Tate was able to stay still and get it done.  He does look awfully sharp and put together around his ears and along his nape!  Such a big boy...hanging out with the men at the barbershop!


We ran a couple more errands and came home to prepare for some company Friday evening.  Two fellow SMCs...A who is from Austin who has a little girl one month younger than Tate and J from here with a 4 1/2 year old son.  A was in town for business, so didn't have her daughter with her.  It was our first time to meet.  J and I had met about 18 months ago when I went to my first and so far only local SMC gathering.  We had a great, great evening.  It so seems to me that A and I are raising our kids together though we had never met.  We are both part of the national SMC listserve, so we communicate on there alot in our Toddler Forum.  And we're FB friends, so we have virtual playdates for our kids all the time :) We hung out, the boys played (Tate has some sharing issues), Tate got a bath and put down for the night at 8 while they hung out downstairs.  We ordered pizza and enjoyed a yummy bottle of wine and some great conversation.  By the time they left around 10 I was full, happy and proud to call them my friends.


Saturday Tate and I went off to our music together class.  He just loves it.  And he's so sweet during class.  He insists on sitting in my lap the entire time with the exception of when it's time to play instruments.  When we have to stand up and dance around (think exhaustion for the adults) he insists upon me holding him.  I don't want to call him shy because he will talk; he just loves his mommy time I suppose :)  


We along with my sister Lindsey took my mom to lunch Saturday afternoon as we find Sunday to be crazy crazy.  She chose Barnaby's so the 4 of us had a lovely casual lunch.  She was generous enough to take Tate home with her, so I could do some shopping for myself for our trip to Germany.  I bought not one winter item this year.  It was never cool enough to need anything warm to wear for myself.  Tate of course had some fabulous new outfits, but I made do with what I already had.  And honestly it was chilly here for maybe 6 weeks, and those 6 weeks were off and on.


I picked him around 430 and we headed home for the evening.


I had planned on going to church on Sunday morning, but I was exhausted and opted to spend the morning in bed with my little guy.  Ok I dozed while he watched Thomas on my phone for about 45 minutes.  We lazily got out day started and then headed out to Hermann Park to ride the train.  Honestly, where else would we be on a gorgeous Mother's Day morning...the weather was just perfect.

We picked up Lindsey on our way home for lunch, then the 3 of us headed back down to my parents' house to surprise my mother for Mother's Day.  She was thrilled to see us.  We actually just laid about on the couch and talked and relaxed.  We came back into town a couple of hours later.  Tate and I then headed out to Chuy's for some dinner.  He enjoyed some chips while I enjoyed a yummy margarita.  Some queso, chicken nuggets and fajitas later we were on our way home.


So a nice quiet Mother's Day weekend.  Nothing spectacular, yet still amazing.  Amazing that I have the privilege of raising this sweet soul.  This absolute gift from God.  My life's wish has been granted.  

My Heart

OH HOW I LOVE THIS BOY.

65 Minutes

Tate cried, screamed, yelled, kicked, fell out, refused to walk, melted down for one hour and five minutes.  Yep 65 minutes.  I think he stopped having a fit for maybe the 3 minutes it took him to eat some yogurt about 3/4 of the way through the tantrum.


We were skyping with my parents like we do most nights while we eat dinner.  Tate had rotisserie chicken, broccoli, corn, half a Happy Tot pouch, applesauce and milk...most all are his faves.  He downed the milk, ate some of his chicken (dipped in ketchup), a couple bites of broccoli and the pouch.  He then asked for more milk and some yogurt.  I was more than happy to oblige.  Maybe because I don't move at the speed of light or because I'm not Samantha from 'Bewitched' or because I was simply too tired to hop right up to get the wanted items, but within mere seconds he started crying.  And crying.  And crying.  I told him I was going to get the yogurt and milk.  My parents told him "Mommy's going to get your yogurt."  All to no avail.  We hung up with my parents because I refuse to subject them to a meltdown so their evening doesn't get ruined as well as ours.


And he never stopped.  He hollered.  I got the yogurt.  He refused to eat it.  This was after he had opted to not touch his applesauce which is sprinkled with his medicine (Singulair granules), so I ended up putting another packet on top of the yogurt.  More crying, flailing about in the highchair.  He kept pointing towards the kitchen.  I asked a litany of questions "Do you want different yogurt?  Do you want milk?  Do you want Cheerios? Do you want to get down?  Do you want applesauce?"  As the screaming continued I changed my tune and told him to use his words which he is more than capable of doing.  


No dice.


He then seemed to want to be in my lap.  So, into my lap he went.  More crying and bucking.  I got some of the yogurt in him as he screamed, so he got his meds.  (Mommy 1 Tate 0)


I then just put him on the floor and watched him scream.


I decided (and told him) it was time for bed if we were going to continue to cry.


Kicking and bucking.


So I grabbed him up and trudged up the stairs with his 30 pound body wiggling about.


I turned on the bath water while he yelled and complained from our bedroom.


I struggled to get his clothes off.  Then I put him on the potty.  Mommy 1 Tate 1  That did not go well.


Into the tub he went.  Mommy 2 Tate 1


Scared me to death with his undulations, arms akimbo, slipping and sliding in the tub almost falling on his head.


I screamed "Stop moving around!  You're going to get hurt.  STOP IT!!"


Mommy 2 Tate 5


Diaper on under duress.


I lost it again and yelled at him "What do you want"


Mommy 2 Tate 10


I finally just told him to cry until he wanted to tell me what he wanted.  Much boo-hooing and I again offered milk, cheerios, yogurt, applesauce and a ride in his stroller.  


He wanted to go for a ride in his stroller.


We made our way to the 1st floor...him in his overnight diaper, me in my pjs minus my bra and walked in our little courtyard all while he was crying.  Oh and I mustn't forget...he was clutching his yogurt spoon from the time we went upstairs.


We came back inside and he FINALLY asked for his yogurt and wanted to eat it in his stroller in the entryway.  Fine by me.


All was quiet for 3 minutes.


Then he wanted a popsicle.


Nope. Nyet.  No. Nada. Not happening. No way.


Torrential tears.  


Once back in our bedroom I let him cry some more.  Then when he was merely hiccuping I sat him on the toilet again and he peed.   While he cried I brushed his teeth and got him dressed.  By now he's simply whimpering.


Mommy 3 Tate 11


We rocked for a bit with his trains and his beloved hippo.


He sat back and asked for some milk.


I was happy to oblige.  I came downstairs, got his milk and gave it to him upstairs.


I then rebrushed his teeth.


It had been 65 minutes.  I know this because I could go back to skype and see what time we hung up with my parents and as I walked down to get his milk I looked at the time on my alarm panel.  


65 minutes.


I rocked him, I apologized for yelling.  I told him he needed to use his words.


He laid on me for about 15 minutes and then asked to be put in his crib.  He was out in mere minutes.


I did promise that when I came to bed I would put him in bed with me tonight.


A peace offering if you will.  


We need to reconnect and sometimes it's best in the nighttime when we're both weary and tired.  Mother and son.  Just like all those times in the middle of the night when he was an infant.  Nursing in the middle of the night, both of us weary and tired.  Reconnecting.  Solidifying our bond.  I think that's why I never ever minded the constant wake ups.  Why I never sleep trained.  Why I didn't see the need to deny him what he needed for comfort...me.  After being apart all day, nighttime was our time.  Walking the floor, nursing in bed, just us.  Not that I wasn't exhausted.  Not that I didn't need my sleep. But his needs were more important then just like they are now.  Until he can really communicate and understand what it is he's feeling and articulate it I'll try to help him.  So I know that us sleeping together tonight will help him as much as it will help me.  When we have these horrible nights or days or minutes we need to reconnect...and not tomorrow when we'll be rushing out of the house and not tomorrow evening when we'll be rushing to eat dinner and go back to bed.  But tonight when we'll have the whole night to roll over and cuddle with one another, pat each other's backs, sling hands over one another's faces (ok he does that) and just be as close as possible for as long as possible.  


And those 65 minutes will be a memory (hopefully!) for both of us in the morning.

Those Three Little Words

THAT'S MY MOM!!!!  

Tate hollered when I picked him up this evening from daycare.  He raced over from the playhouse he was playing in outside screeching "THAT'S MY MOM!!"

Little legs pumping.

Finger pointing.

Chest heaving.

Sweat dripping.


Arms up in the air.

"THAT'S MY MOM!"

Into my arms he went for a quick sweaty hug and a quite summary of his day and how his BFF C was crying earlier.  I asked if he wanted to go check on him to be sure he was ok.  Tate shook his head yes.  (strangely this crying jag of C's had happened earlier, but obviously was sitting on Tate's heart)

"That's my mom"  I love the sound of that.  My mom.  He's never called me mom before...It's always Mommy or Mama.  I don't know why those three words have laid on my heart all night.  Maybe it's the strong sense of possession.  Maybe it's his assuredness of who I am to him.  Maybe it's excitement emanating from his very pores as he said it.

Honestly, those three words are almost as precious to me as an unbidden "I love you."

I don't think I'll ever forget this evening on the playground at daycare pick-up between 

ME AND MY SON.