Big VS Little

Last night Tate was writing one of his books...one of his favorite pastimes.  He proudly showed me the covers of his books...

L-R Luke Skywalker, Rey (no idea who she is in Star Wars),
Han Solo and Princess Leia

He is making his own Who Would Win:  Character V Character books.  All based on 'Star Wars' characters.  The 'Star Wars' obsession is a whole other post or 6.

I asked him why all the characters had a 'V' on their foreheads.  He very seriously looked at me and said "Because they're mad Mommy".

I almost fell over laughing.  It's so funny to me.  I really thought the 'V' was some sort of symbol that I had missed from the original trilogy all those years ago, but no, they're mad.  And they do look quite pissed in his cover art.

I asked him how he knew to draw a V to make them look angry and he said "From this Lightning McQueen."

 And there you have it...this is angry Lightning McQueen.  With a 'V'.

This just tickled me so very much.  And I just don't know why, but it did.

Then I thought about it...my little boy is still so much a little boy.  He doesn't play with his Lightning McQueen cars and accessories much anymore...he's all about the light sabers and playing 'Star Wars' and jumping around making 'fight' moves with his friends.  Yet he remembers this Lightning McQueen and he still chooses to watch ''Pocoyo' (misery!) or Inside Out' or 'The Peanuts Movie' when it's his turn to choose the movie for movie night.  He still much prefers cartoon movies or animated Pixar;  I don't think he's yet to watch a movie with real people...he refused to watch the new 'Annie' when it came out.  We've yet to watch 'Star Wars' because I feel like he's still too young, though Santa Claus is bringing the first 6 for him for Christmas.  

I just see 'Star Wars' as the gateway to being a big kid.  Maybe it's really not, but to me it is.  We're leaving the little boy world of make-believe and superheroes (though he's still really into superheroes...he loves all things Marvel).  Who knew there was a difference between IronMan and Batman.  I figured all superheroes were the same merry band of dudes.  Never knew there was a DC v Marvel kind of thing going on out there.  Suffice it to say...we are Marvel people.  (I miss Wonder Woman;  I am not into Gamora or Black Widow).

In any event, he's still my little boy...he still happily has me brush and floss his teeth every night, he still wears his 5 point harness in my car and my parents' car, he'll ride and sleep in his stroller, he still sleeps with me, doesn't mind me in the bathroom with him.  Still so much a young child amongst his many peers who are so much older and mature seeming.  Yet, he gives himself a bath all on his own while I'm downstairs, he takes out the trash, he can make a variety of foods himself (even using the microwave).

But he still wants his grapes cut up :)

I'm just trying to treasure and hold all these moments in my heart and in my mind because I know they're going to be gone quicker than I can say 'Return of the Jedi'.  These moments are the ones I dreamed of when I dreamed about being a mother.  I just didn't know how much they would mean to me.  

If I could just keep him little....

Long Time, No Blog

I haven't blogged in so long I don't even know where to start.

I can't even really pinpoint why.  I used to enjoy it so much;  I loved having a written journal of my and Tate's life together.  I want a written journal of our life together.

But goodness has that life gotten so much busier, so much crazier, so much more hectic in the past 12-18 months.  It's unreal.  I'm so much more tired at the end of the day.  There is so much more going on in my mind from I can't believe I'm almost 50 to I can't Tate is 7!  

I have less time to myself in the evenings with him not really going to sleep until 8 these days.  We still strive to go upstairs and read stories at 7 with the goal of going to bed at 7:30, but realistically that just isn't happening.  Work is insanely busy and I'm not getting out of the office until 5:15 these days and those 15 minutes make all the difference.  I don't get home until 5:45 and we don't eat until after 6.  I need a little downtime with him and oh my goodness if something has gone wrong at school that day it throws our evening off because he needs more of me.  Thankfully that's a rare occurrence, but it occurs every once in a while.

But I'm going to get back to this.  I loved having this space to ponder, to vent, to share.  And I like having a chronicle of our lives to print out for us to share someday...right now Tate has no desire to look at all the books I've printed of my blog, but I hope someday he will.

So, second grade is going really well.  Tate's loving it, loving his friends, loving Math, loving soccer and loving life.  I'm loving being his mom, being my parents' daughter, being a great friend and sister.  

I just wish I wasn't so tired and out of shape.  A recurring theme in my life.  I'm sure I'm tired because of I'm out of shape and I'm out of shape because I'm tired.  I just cannot find the time to get it together.  Just tonight a friend texted me that she would call me in an hour after she got home from her 'class' which started at 7.  Her exercise class.

I can't imagine being able to be out of my house at 7pm on a Thursday night for a class of any sort.  I can't even stop at the store on the way home to pick up milk because I have to get home and let the sitter leave.

Ugh.

Anyway, I love this boy of mine.  We're having a great life.  I love having someone to talk to at dinner.  I love that he loves me so much.  I love hanging out with him.  I love his kind and sweet heart and his bad habits :).  We're doing great...I just need to start taking as good of care of myself as I do of him so I can be with him for many years to come.  As of right now I'm robbing him of many years with me because I'm not taking care of myself.  I need to realize that not taking care of me is not taking care of him.  

Tomorrow is a new day.  I'm off to get myself to bed to start taking care of me.

A few outtakes...