American Promise | POV | PBS
This airs Monday night!
You can bet I'm not missing it. Ok I'll probably miss it, but I'm definitely DVRing it!! Couldn't have come out at a better time!!!
Friday, January 31, 2014
Thursday, January 30, 2014
WWYD? Public or Private?
It's cold in Texas! The likes of which we've not seen in forever. So much so that schools were cancelled last Friday the 24 and this past Tuesday the 28th. Now they weren't closed because of the snow; they were closed because of the high possibility of precipitation in freezing temperatures leaving our streets and roads covered in ice which in Houston cannot be navigated safely. The number of accidents last Friday were too numerous to count. We know the northerners were rolling their eyes at our naiveté, stupidity and fear. Just like when they're complaining in June when it's 97 degrees we'll be thinking 'Get over it, that is not hot. Hot is 110 degrees.' They can't do heat; we can't do ice. In any event, schools were closed and my job was closed, so there was alot of togetherness for me and Tate.
And it went great! We stayed in our pajamas both days and it was awesome! I 'slept' until 8 and 830 respectively. He managed to go downstairs and get himself some yogurt and cheese for breakfast whilst watching his precious freight trains on YouTube on my phone while I snoozed away on the third floor happily. Absolute bliss. We did lots of arts and crafts, played some games, read lots of books, watched steam trains on the television, annoyed the cat, played trains and all around lazed about. Both days.
Snow Days. Yum.
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| Pajama Day!! |
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| Of course we made a train! |
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| We braved the cold and ice for The Chocolate Bar! |
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| Our lovely artwork! |
Of course I'm having to make up the lost work day from Tuesday. And the public schools are trying to figure out what days they'll make up the 2 lost days. This shall be interesting.
But not nearly as interesting as my continuing search for the 'perfect' school for Tate for kindergarten. I do have choices thankfully. My first choice is between public or private school.
Sigh. This is my biggest struggle I think.
Never for one minute did I ever think I would send my child to a private school. I am a product of the public education system and I think I turned out quite well. However, I do know my parents chose our neighborhood specifically for their good schools. We moved into a fantastic school district when we moved to Texas when I was 8. Though we were one of what seems like 2 black families in the neighborhood we moved into it. Our high school was nationally ranked. It was an amazing time in my life; I loved school, the learning, the kids, the teachers, the social aspect, all of it. Loved it. Even the ever feared junior high. Loved it all.
That's what I want for Tate. I want him to love all aspects of school. I know he won't have the same experiences that I had, but I want him to have the same feelings at least on some level.
Since we're urban dwellers, school options are a bit more complex. I can't just send him to the school down the street, no question's asked. I have to worry about that school down the street having enough funding, have good test scores, having a good family community, having the extracurriculars he may want to participate in because these options are just not a given in the urban setting. Yes I could move, but then my commute would be horrendous. I only get 90-120 minutes with him as it stands, and though I know he may go to bed later as he ages I don't see it get much later any time soon. Because he will always have to be up at 6, so that I can get both of us to school and work on time. So going to sleep at 8 or 830 will lessen his possible sleep time greatly, and I truly believe 5 and 6 year olds need 10 hours of sleep to be healthy functioning little kids. Not arriving home until 6 or 615 is just not an option unless I either want someone else to eat dinner with him every single school night and all I do is bathe him and put him in bed or I keep him up later causing him pain and angst because he can't function properly in school because he's so damn tired.
So we're staying where we are. Hence the dilemma...Public or Private.
Public Pros:
- Free
- Possibly not as much parental involvement
- More racial and socio-economic diversity
- I expect some single parent families
Public Cons:
- Large class size; ratio of at least 22:1 with no aide. Kindergarten class size sometimes goes up to 26!
- Standardized testing
- Possibly not as much parental involvement
- I worry that if Tate has trouble (scholastic, behavioral) he won't get the attention he needs
- Possible bullying
- Worry of 'teaching to the test'
Private Pros:
- Small class size: ratio as low as 10:1
- No standardized testing
- Lots of parental involvement
- Religious base (I'm only looking at private schools with a religious base)
- I feel with a class size of 10-14 that if Tate has troubles the teacher can help easier.
Private Cons:
- Cost
- Lack of racial diversity
- Lack of social economic diversity
- Possibly less play based (important in early grades for me)
- As a parent I'm afraid I won't fit in with these rich 2 parent family
- Lots of parental involvement
- Lots of holidays/half days
All that aside though what it really boils down to is what school will best suit Tate. Did parents worry about what school 'suited their kids' 20 years ago? See I think not. I mean sure some kids had issues/problems and needed some guidance or a change in their school environment, but for the most part you just went to school. Until college you went where you were zoned. Only when it came to college did you interview the schools, did they interview you, were you tested!!!!! I cannot believe I have to do this for my 4 1/2 year old.
But I can't go through this process belaboring what has become of choosing a school for my kid. This is where I am right now, so I need to just deal with it. It is what it is.
So at this point in the public vs private school conundrum I'm unclear as to what I'll do. I've applied to both and I'm going to see what our choices end up being! If we get accepted everywhere, public and private, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
What have others considered when deciding between public and private education? I also believe that for kindergarten and first and even second grade that Tate would probably do ok anywhere because he's an easy going child. I do worry about the 4th and 5th grade leading to junior high years. I also really worry about the differences in way boys and girls learn. I find that most schools today gear their education style in a female centric manner, ie desks and chairs. Not alot of physical activity in the classroom, not alot of tell, show do. Sigh
(Do keep in mind that I am in one of the few states which has not adopted the Common Core.)
Public or Private? WWYD?
Friday, January 24, 2014
School House Rock
The past 4 months I feel like I have been under a rock. The School House Rock to be exact.
For Tate will be entering kindergarten in 7 short months.
In SEVEN months.
I cannot believe that my sweet boy, my dream, my joy, my love will be 5 years old and going to kindergarten. Five years ago this week I had just finished watching Barack Obama be inaugurated as our 44th president; our first black president. I was almost 3 months pregnant at the time. Pregnant.
Now that little wisp of life is here walking, talking, laughing, crying, smiling, loving life.
And he's learning. In leaps and bounds. And this learning business is about to get serious with the start of kindergarten. We've so enjoyed his time at his current little daycare/school. They play and play and play and learn and learn and learn. They learn about God, they've learned how to read, how to count, how to color, how to love, how to cry, how to live and love it. And Tate loves to learn. Loves it.
That's what I want to continue. I want him to love learning. I want him to ask questions, to sit back and absorb what he's seeing and doing, to listen to other ways of getting to the same answer. I want him to appreciate those who've come before him, those who've paved the way. I want him to flourish, be nurtured, be loved and love, be cared about and most importantly be safe and happy.
So I've spent the past 4 months struggling to decide where to send him to elementary school in the fall. The elementary school we are zoned to is not one I feel comfortable sending Tate to. There are several reasons for this....More than 50% of the student population has limited English speaking skills. 90% of the children qualify for free/reduced lunch. 90% of the student population is Hispanic with only 6% being black. Only 10% of the students are recognized as gifted and talented. 80% of the children are considered at risk. Worse, their test scores are poor.
Writing that all down I feel like a terrible person. So here's my thought process: Tate speaks no Spanish; I speak no Spanish. He won't be able to communicate with more than half the kids. I don't know this for sure, but I fathom a guess that the percentage of parents who speak English well will be way less than half. How am I to build a community in my child's school when I can't converse with the other parents? Tate has never been around anyone who speaks Spanish, and I'm sure he would catch on, but should he have to? Why does he need to learn another language in order to make friends in addition to everything else he's going to be learning?
Then there's the whole socio-economic problem. I do not want my child ostracized further for being considered 'a have.' We live in a neighborhood that is changing before our very eyes, which is why I bought this house in 2003. I knew that as the neighborhood changed the value of my home would improve, though I didn't ever consider what having a child in this neighborhood would be like. Hindsight... In any event, the differences in our lifestyles would be marked. I do not want Tate thinking he's better than anyone else, and I don't want others thinking he thinks that. I'm blessed to be able to provide Tate with all that we do and have, and I don't want to feel bad for that. It would be hard to invite people to do activities with us, go to dinner with us, have playdates at places with us that they couldn't afford. I don't want to be any more of an outsider than we already would be because of the color of our skin.
Six percent of students last year were black. Just 6%. Tate would likely be an only in many of his classes. In fact, less than 1% of the students were bi-racial, so he would be an only. I don't want that.
Only 10% are gifted and talented. That's a really low number. Now, I have no idea if Tate is GT (he's being tested next Saturday), but if he is I don't feel he'll get the attention he'll need, the differentiation in the class. It doesn't seem like all the teachers are gifted and talented certified either, so he'll have even fewer options. I also worry that he won't be challenged whether he's gifted or not because he is a smart boy. I don't want him left to his own devices possibly because the teacher feels 'Well he gets it, so I'm going to focus on those who aren't quite there yet', and then he's bored. I certainly can't say that's what would happen, and I'm sure they would assure me that wouldn't, but I'm not comfortable with the inadvertent possibilities.
I simply don't like the school. I don't feel like he or I will fit in. And though I lament the time when you simply sent your kid to school down the street, those times have passed. At least they've passed for those of us who live in the city.
Luckily we have choices.
Choices.
Way too many choices.....
But that's a post for another day.
For Tate will be entering kindergarten in 7 short months.
In SEVEN months.
I cannot believe that my sweet boy, my dream, my joy, my love will be 5 years old and going to kindergarten. Five years ago this week I had just finished watching Barack Obama be inaugurated as our 44th president; our first black president. I was almost 3 months pregnant at the time. Pregnant.
Now that little wisp of life is here walking, talking, laughing, crying, smiling, loving life.
And he's learning. In leaps and bounds. And this learning business is about to get serious with the start of kindergarten. We've so enjoyed his time at his current little daycare/school. They play and play and play and learn and learn and learn. They learn about God, they've learned how to read, how to count, how to color, how to love, how to cry, how to live and love it. And Tate loves to learn. Loves it.
That's what I want to continue. I want him to love learning. I want him to ask questions, to sit back and absorb what he's seeing and doing, to listen to other ways of getting to the same answer. I want him to appreciate those who've come before him, those who've paved the way. I want him to flourish, be nurtured, be loved and love, be cared about and most importantly be safe and happy.
So I've spent the past 4 months struggling to decide where to send him to elementary school in the fall. The elementary school we are zoned to is not one I feel comfortable sending Tate to. There are several reasons for this....More than 50% of the student population has limited English speaking skills. 90% of the children qualify for free/reduced lunch. 90% of the student population is Hispanic with only 6% being black. Only 10% of the students are recognized as gifted and talented. 80% of the children are considered at risk. Worse, their test scores are poor.
Writing that all down I feel like a terrible person. So here's my thought process: Tate speaks no Spanish; I speak no Spanish. He won't be able to communicate with more than half the kids. I don't know this for sure, but I fathom a guess that the percentage of parents who speak English well will be way less than half. How am I to build a community in my child's school when I can't converse with the other parents? Tate has never been around anyone who speaks Spanish, and I'm sure he would catch on, but should he have to? Why does he need to learn another language in order to make friends in addition to everything else he's going to be learning?
Then there's the whole socio-economic problem. I do not want my child ostracized further for being considered 'a have.' We live in a neighborhood that is changing before our very eyes, which is why I bought this house in 2003. I knew that as the neighborhood changed the value of my home would improve, though I didn't ever consider what having a child in this neighborhood would be like. Hindsight... In any event, the differences in our lifestyles would be marked. I do not want Tate thinking he's better than anyone else, and I don't want others thinking he thinks that. I'm blessed to be able to provide Tate with all that we do and have, and I don't want to feel bad for that. It would be hard to invite people to do activities with us, go to dinner with us, have playdates at places with us that they couldn't afford. I don't want to be any more of an outsider than we already would be because of the color of our skin.
Six percent of students last year were black. Just 6%. Tate would likely be an only in many of his classes. In fact, less than 1% of the students were bi-racial, so he would be an only. I don't want that.
Only 10% are gifted and talented. That's a really low number. Now, I have no idea if Tate is GT (he's being tested next Saturday), but if he is I don't feel he'll get the attention he'll need, the differentiation in the class. It doesn't seem like all the teachers are gifted and talented certified either, so he'll have even fewer options. I also worry that he won't be challenged whether he's gifted or not because he is a smart boy. I don't want him left to his own devices possibly because the teacher feels 'Well he gets it, so I'm going to focus on those who aren't quite there yet', and then he's bored. I certainly can't say that's what would happen, and I'm sure they would assure me that wouldn't, but I'm not comfortable with the inadvertent possibilities.
I simply don't like the school. I don't feel like he or I will fit in. And though I lament the time when you simply sent your kid to school down the street, those times have passed. At least they've passed for those of us who live in the city.
Luckily we have choices.
Choices.
Way too many choices.....
But that's a post for another day.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Being Valued
Well goodness, it's almost time to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr's birthday. Meaning we are almost halfway through January 2014!!!
It's been a weird few months, probably why I haven't really blogged much except to keep up the goings ons of our little lives. We've been having an amazing year together, Tate and me. I love love love seeing the little boy he's becoming. Just tonight as I stood on the steps while he ran over to the counter to get his beloved hippo I thought to myself "That's my son, my little boy." with such a feeling of awe. That little boy with his funny smile, quirky laugh, quick to tears and big hugs is my little boy.
Then life gets in the way of my enjoyment of my biggest joy, being Tate's mom. Life just barges in, doesn't it? And I have a great life...I have an amazing family, some absolutely fantastic friends, and a most loving God.
If only the place where I spend 9 hours a day, 4 days a week could bring me some joy, some peace, some happiness, some anything. I'm 46 years old. I've been doing this job on some level for 21 years. I've been actively practicing pediatric dentistry for 14 years. And I'm pretty good at it. I may not be the smartest one out there, but you won't find many out there who takes what she does so much to heart. But here's the thing...my son and my family are the most important part of my life. My friends come an extremely close second. It's so hard to work in an environment where that is not the case for those you work closest with. Like when I wasn't allowed to go to my uncle's funeral this summer; for those who are not close to their families they can't possibly understand what that would be like, to not go. Noone understood how devastated I was to lose my Uncle Wade like my family would have been in Virginia. You don't go to funerals just to pay respect to the departed, you go for consolation, love, understanding and grieving together, supporting one another. Because only those who loved like you did truly understand.
And then there's being a mom. Being a mom. For as far back as I can remember I have always just wanted to be a mom. I waited 41 years to achieve my life's goal. I never knew it would be so hard to be a mom and work full time in this career. I never knew. And I definitely didn't know how hard it would be to be a single mom, working full time in this career. Most assuredly I didn't know how hard it would be to be a single mom, working full time, working for someone who doesn't have kids in this career.
My priority is my child. And that's seemingly difficult for those who don't have kids to truly understand. I don't want to leave work on time to go get a massage, or go watch a basketball game or go watch a movie; I want to leave work on time because I want to spend some time with my child. My child who needs his mother. My child who craves some time with his mother that is not spent rushing around making dinner, making lunches, bathing him, putting him to bed. I crave that time with my child as well. Do I feel like I'm a better person because I have a child to care for? Heck no. Does my life have more value because I have a child? Of course not. Do I expect others to carry my load so I can be with my child? Never.
But I don't appreciate being made to feel left out, undervalued, not needed or an afterthought because I don't have the time or energy to attend dental meetings or events now that I have a responsibility to my child. I don't like being made to feel less worthy or not part of the team. I've paid my dues in the years prior to having my son. I've been the dental cheerleader.
It's hard enough being a parent. Harder still sometimes to be a single parent. Even harder to be a working parent when you feel undervalued and unwanted for 40 hours a week.
Then I come home, and I know why I put up with it. I see that sweet face when I arrive at daycare to pick him up. Of all the people in the world that he knows, HE values me the most. HE wants me the most.
I'll get up tomorrow and start all over. He's absolutely worth it. I want to be his cheerleader.
It's been a weird few months, probably why I haven't really blogged much except to keep up the goings ons of our little lives. We've been having an amazing year together, Tate and me. I love love love seeing the little boy he's becoming. Just tonight as I stood on the steps while he ran over to the counter to get his beloved hippo I thought to myself "That's my son, my little boy." with such a feeling of awe. That little boy with his funny smile, quirky laugh, quick to tears and big hugs is my little boy.
Then life gets in the way of my enjoyment of my biggest joy, being Tate's mom. Life just barges in, doesn't it? And I have a great life...I have an amazing family, some absolutely fantastic friends, and a most loving God.
If only the place where I spend 9 hours a day, 4 days a week could bring me some joy, some peace, some happiness, some anything. I'm 46 years old. I've been doing this job on some level for 21 years. I've been actively practicing pediatric dentistry for 14 years. And I'm pretty good at it. I may not be the smartest one out there, but you won't find many out there who takes what she does so much to heart. But here's the thing...my son and my family are the most important part of my life. My friends come an extremely close second. It's so hard to work in an environment where that is not the case for those you work closest with. Like when I wasn't allowed to go to my uncle's funeral this summer; for those who are not close to their families they can't possibly understand what that would be like, to not go. Noone understood how devastated I was to lose my Uncle Wade like my family would have been in Virginia. You don't go to funerals just to pay respect to the departed, you go for consolation, love, understanding and grieving together, supporting one another. Because only those who loved like you did truly understand.
And then there's being a mom. Being a mom. For as far back as I can remember I have always just wanted to be a mom. I waited 41 years to achieve my life's goal. I never knew it would be so hard to be a mom and work full time in this career. I never knew. And I definitely didn't know how hard it would be to be a single mom, working full time in this career. Most assuredly I didn't know how hard it would be to be a single mom, working full time, working for someone who doesn't have kids in this career.
My priority is my child. And that's seemingly difficult for those who don't have kids to truly understand. I don't want to leave work on time to go get a massage, or go watch a basketball game or go watch a movie; I want to leave work on time because I want to spend some time with my child. My child who needs his mother. My child who craves some time with his mother that is not spent rushing around making dinner, making lunches, bathing him, putting him to bed. I crave that time with my child as well. Do I feel like I'm a better person because I have a child to care for? Heck no. Does my life have more value because I have a child? Of course not. Do I expect others to carry my load so I can be with my child? Never.
But I don't appreciate being made to feel left out, undervalued, not needed or an afterthought because I don't have the time or energy to attend dental meetings or events now that I have a responsibility to my child. I don't like being made to feel less worthy or not part of the team. I've paid my dues in the years prior to having my son. I've been the dental cheerleader.
It's hard enough being a parent. Harder still sometimes to be a single parent. Even harder to be a working parent when you feel undervalued and unwanted for 40 hours a week.
Then I come home, and I know why I put up with it. I see that sweet face when I arrive at daycare to pick him up. Of all the people in the world that he knows, HE values me the most. HE wants me the most.
I'll get up tomorrow and start all over. He's absolutely worth it. I want to be his cheerleader.
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