Spring Break 2015

It was Tate's first Spring Break.  And I had to work the entire time.  Sigh.  I'm pretty ok with it this year because we're going out of town in a few weeks to celebrate my parents' 50th anniversary, so I really couldn't afford another trip this week.

However, I just wanted to be able to spend some quality time with him this week.  I most definitely wanted absolute down time for him...for him to just have fun!  No having to get up early.  No having to get dressed and go to daycare.  Just simple fun.

His official spring break start was last Saturday!!  So we were off to the rodeo bright and early!  We arrived and went straight to Kids' Country where he rode a pony, petted some animals (which he doesn't really like all that much, but he's always so excited to do it!!) and saw some longhorns and newly hatched chicks!

One hour old!

Then we headed outside to mutton bustin'!  I had talked this up like crazy!!  I let him watch a video of his friend, J from school doing it and Tate was ready.  As we made our way to the rodeo he told everyone he was going mutton bustin'.  He was absolutely thrilled and raring to go!

They got him all suited up, I filled out the paperwork and paid the fee and it was time start bustin'!

Here's his ride!!

He made it all of maybe 2 seconds, if I'm generous :)  Definitely some tears.  He was very surprised to learn he didn't get a medal for just riding.  Great teaching moment, and the reason I cannot stand the whole everyone gets a medal, everyone gets a prize, kids are told you're doing a great job when they're most definitely not, the not keeping score business.  Here's the thing:  someone is going to win.  Someone is going to be best.  It's not always going to be you or me.  The person who was best gets to win.  You want to win?  Hold on tighter next year.  I  pretty much told him that, in much kinder terms, but I wanted it clear that he has to be the best to get the silver belt buckle.  I lauded his effort and the fact that I knew he was super scared, but he did it anyway because that was so huge.  I told him how proud I was of him and that he should be incredibly proud of himself for doing something new AND really scary.  That cheered him up, and he was able to walk proud.  That's what I wanted to see.

We had some lunch, rode several rides, even the Ferris Wheel.  I HATE the Ferris Wheel.  It scares me to death.  And Tate was all about the Ferris Wheel.  I let him drag me on it only because I felt bad that I didn't have someone else to ride all the other rides with him since it was just him and I.  I squeezed my poor boy's hand so tight, it was red.  I kept my eyes closed as much as I could, reciting the Lord's Prayer almost the entire time.  Absolutely awful.

On the Ferris Wheel...still on the ground.  My fear
isn't evident quite yet!

Some spinning ride that flew through
the air that we went on together!!!

Tate absolutely loved the Ferris Wheel.  Squealed with joy and delight.  His total happiness made my stiff, rigid body of absolute fear worth it.

After some Kona Ice snow cones, we just came home and chilled out.

Saturday evening I had 40th birthday party to go to for a girlfriend, so Nanny S babysat for me!  She and Tate had a rockin' time while I played with some of my dearest friends!

Sunday we went to church then headed over to the zoo to ride the train!  One of our favorite things to do here!  We made a grocery store stop then did some meal prep for the week before heading out to the park to meet N and her daughter for a couple of hours.

On the train! 

Post playdate hugs!

Just a gorgeous afternoon of letting the kids run around like crazy while N and I had our own playdate and talked and talked.  Just love her!

I signed Tate up for camp at the local Arboretum for half day for the entire week.  I have Nanny S coming over in the mornings to stay with him until it's time to go, then she picks him up when it's done.  I'm absolutely surprised by how much he's loved the camp.  He comes home telling both of us all about it!!  It's just great!  I'm so very pleased.

And I love that I can sleep in a bit in the mornings because I don't have to prepare his lunches or get him dressed and ready to go!!  Which also means he's started to sleep in just a few minutes...on a couple of mornings. :)  Total bliss!!

So Monday they were off for camp!  Got him all situated with all his allergy stuff though I will admit I was an absolute basket case the entire morning he was there.  It's so hard for me because I worry so very much about his safety.  I almost feel like I have some PTSD after his anaphylactic reaction last summer.  The idea of leaving him in the care of new people and praying they take his food allergies seriously is nervewracking to say the least.  But these people were so awesome.  Nanny S said that as soon as they walked in and signed in the director was there saying they were just waiting for Tate to arrive.  They introduced Tate and Nanny S to all his counselors and went over all the instructions.  I've been so very pleased.  So very pleased with the care extended to my child as well as the respect they have for his medical concerns.  In addition to how kind they have been to me.   We will definitely be returning.

Monday afternoon I had them just come back here for lunch and I gave Tate a laser pegs set to put together.  I just wanted him to have time at home to do whatever he wanted, especially in case he didn't enjoy camp and really needed some time in a happy, safe place.  Then they were off to swim lessons. Nanny S brought him to my office after swim lessons, and we made our way home.

Tuesday after camp they went to see the movie 'Paddington.'  There were a couple of moments apparently when Tate was scared and/or nervous, but Nanny S said they enjoyed it.  Tate said it was good, but he's in no rush to have his own copy :).

After camp Wednesday they came home for lunch then Nanny S drove them to his BFF Gavin's house for a playdate!  Tate had a blast apparently...they ended up staying almost 3 hours!!  Needless to say, Tate was exhausted Wednesday night.

Tate loves to make faces these days!

Thursday they met me for lunch at Smashburger!!!  I loved getting to see my boy in the middle of the day...what a treat!  Then while I went back to drill, fill and bill they went to the library for a while.

Finally Friday arrived.  Sadly, I had to work this Friday (I normally only work a 4 day work week).  Nanny S took Tate off for his last day of camp.  When I was dragging my sleepy butt off to work, he was happily engaging Nanny S in his favorite game these days...hangman!!!  Apparently, the last day was a roaring success!  Nanny S also managed to get me a pic of Tate with 'his girl' :) as well as one with his teacher and in the classroom.  I'm overjoyed that he had such a great time.  

They came home for lunch then headed over to an indoor playground!  I couldn't find anyone to go with him, but Nanny S assured me Tate would be fine because he makes friends so easily.  They were there a couple of hours!  These are pics of the after effects of an afternoon playing hard and making new friends!

When I got home he told me he had a lot of fun and that he decided to try something new there today!  He went to the big climbing apparatus and really liked it!  He was so proud of himself for trying something new.  He was also excited because he ran into someone there from his camp!

I was really proud of him for trying the new apparatus of his own accord, but  mostly for being willing to go someplace where he didn't have a buddy and being absolutely ok with it.  I love this about him...he does so very well with new challenges and taking care of himself.  Whenever I worry about him still sleeping with me and how very attached he is to me I take comfort in how very well he plays by himself when we're home and how well he handles being the 'new' kid, knowing noone.  I'm so not like that, and I wish I was.  I think it's a trait that will serve him very well as he goes along this journey we call life.

We ordered pizza when I got home and had our game/movie night, though we only had the movie part since it was so late.  Thankfully he and Nanny S had played a couple of games of Monopoly and Hangman, so he was ready for the movie part of the night!

Today we had a total Mommy and Tate day.  We stayed in our pajamas until after lunch, then made a very rainy, wet trek to the baseball store to get some of his baseball stuff...helmet and glove (so ridiculously pricey!).  We even braved the deluge of rain that lasted all day to go to Target.   We hung out at home, played some games, did some math on the computer, did some Legos, colored and had a great day together.  

Tomorrow starts the beginning of a new school week.  We'll go to church, grocery store and run a couple of last minute errands.  I'm hoping to get us to the movies as well.  We were supposed to go to a Spring Fling, but all the rain today (seriously 10-12 hours of constant rain) has caused the event to be canceled.  No matter...Tate and I will enjoy one another's company as always!!  

What a lovely way to end Spring Break...together.

On Being The Only

Yesterday Tate and I went to our first (and probably only) Jack and Jill party.  Jack and Jill is a national organization of African-American mothers whose focus is strengthening our children's future through fellowship, volunteering and leadership.  In a nutshell, in my opinion, it provides a safe place for us to nurture our children while fostering relationships with strong African-American families.  As is probably obvious Tate's life is not the most diverse, so I really strive to ensure that we spend time with other families of color as often as possible;  I seek out playdates and friendships with other women/families of color.  My parents tried to do the same for me and my sisters as we were growing up.  I feel like it was easier for them when we were living in Baltimore...we were always with three other black families.  Goodness I remember playing in the basements, running around like crazy, not liking so and so, not wanting to go sometimes, but my parents insisting.  They would hang out upstairs playing cards while we kids just had so.much.fun.  Some of my best hazy memories.

We didn't have that when we moved down here.  We still had those Friday nights with their friends where the kids are forced to hang out together, but the friends were now white.  This was the South, you know.  In 1976.  I was bussed to another school in 5th grade (I moved right before 4th grade started).  I believe my neighborhood was bussed to partly over-crowding, but also to help desegregate the school I was bussed to...funny huh?  So bizarre!  

In any event, my parents did eventually make some awesome black friends with their peers, but by then I was in junior high and didn't have to go with them when they went over to play cards!  I could stay home or spend the night at friends' houses.  None of the kids were my age or they were boys.  :)  I will say this though...those black friends are still my parents' closest friend today.  Out of all those couples they hung out with when we moved here...they're still their friends.  And those friends from Baltimore? Still my parents' best friends.

I want that for me.  I want that for Tate.

So when R sent me an email asking if I wanted to go to the Jack and Jill event yesterday I jumped at the opportunity.  Though I don't see myself joining...it's a time commitment and a huge expense, I liked the idea of Tate being surrounded by only African-American people for an afternoon.  Strong, successful African Americans.  He doesn't experience that all that often.  My mom's friends tried to entice her to join when we were pre-teens, but she didn't mostly because of the cost.  That's a definite deterrent for me as well.  And I just don't know how I feel about the feeling of being part of the Haves and not the Have Nots.  I don't know why I feel that way.   It's an organization for black women like me...strong, successful, caring, family oriented.  I don't know why I feel like I would be selling out or not being 'faithful' to the majority of black Americans who are struggling.  Why do I struggle so much with being part of the 10%?  How is it so different from the almost completely lily-white (and for all I know completely white; I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here) uber wealthy, family money country club I drive by every night on my way home from work?  Those members most likely don't think twice about the have nots, who are really not have nots with their 7 figure salaries;  it's just that their 7 figure salaries can't compare with the old money 7 figure salaries.  Make no mistake Jack and Jill is nothing like that, but it's the only comparison of feeling I can make.

In any event, I wanted to go see what it was about and I wanted to spend time with our friends!

We had a fabulous time!  Here are the pics to prove it!

Jack and Jill Inaugural Children's Ball:  Princesses and Pirates!

On the pink and blue carpet!

Jake of the Neverland Pirates came!!

Face painting time!

He wanted Lightning McQueen!

His first time drinking from a champagne glass!

He loved the Bubble Gum flavored Bubbly!

A toast with Mommy!

Princess Belle came too!

Our first Mother/Son Dance!

Got their pirate faces on!!

They did some serious pirating! 

 Dancing princesses and pirates!

Our mother/son dance....

Introducing Pirate Tate!

It was an absolutely lovely afternoon!  We all had a fantastic time!  

So we'll see.  I'll probably look into the organization over the next few weeks.  I'd probably have to have a sponsor or some such to join.  I want Tate to be comfortable in his skin;  I most definitely have not always been comfortable in mine.  And I'm well aware that everyone feels that way at different points in their life.  I just know that on top of the already out of sorts that everyone feels at times, when you add the race issue it's even harder.  Especially when you're always the only.  That's my thing...I have been the only so many times in my life, and I know that will happen to Tate as well.  I just want to balance that with a strong foundation.  I want him to have that safe place of 'Ahhhh I'm not the only.'  I know I can provide that for him in a variety of ways, and I strive to do that.  I'm just pondering....  

I just want him to be happy because he's my only.  How lucky am I?