The 8th Week of Summer 2015

The 8th week of summer started with us hanging out at home, still recovering from our emotional and quick journey to Virginia...we had flown up late Tuesday night and returned early Thursday morning, so I could go to work Thursday afternoon.  

Sunday afternoon we went to a local church to participate in the The Compassion Experience, an interactive exhibit that allows participants to step into the daily life of a child living in poverty.  As I struggle to help Tate understand how blessed we are, not only monetarily, but spiritually, physically, emotionally, I wanted us to participate.  We really enjoyed the exhibit.  We chose to experience the life of Julian, a young girl from Uganda...it was a 20 minute walk through her life as a young girl.  Tate was as interested as I was, asking questions and taking in the Julian's environment on display.  When we finished the tour we chose a young child to sponsor as well.  I'm excited to write to him and to hopefully foster a lifetime of giving in Tate.

This is Julian now teaching in Uganda, her home

What is even more amazing is that one of my sorority sisters from college saw my post of Facebook about our visit to the Compassion Experience.  I posted those same 4 pictures on my wall.  It turns out that Debbie, my sorority sister, knew Julian!!!  Julian flourished with the The Compassion Experience and went to college at Baylor University for her advanced degree.  Debbie said she had the pleasure of driving Julian to and from campus while Julian attended Baylor!  She said that Julian was always saying how good God was :).  I would have to agree!!  For Tate and I to have chosen to learn her story and then to know someone who knows Julian is amazing!  And to know that really and truly this organization helps really made me happy to help support them!

Monday, Tate started his last week of Kidventure Camp which he loves.  At drop-off he runs off with nary a backwards glance.  I always feel like an outsider as he runs off :).  I have to ask for him to come back for a kiss and/or hug.  I'm so glad he's so comfortable and that he enjoys himself so much.

Tuesday my friend N picked Tate up from camp for me and took the kids to the pool.  Well she said it was the pool.  She sent me a couple of pics of the kids having fun at the pool while I was still working.  This is nothing like the pool I was anticipating!

Isn't that amazing?  This is the local pool in one of our neighborhoods.  The kids had a blast.  I made my way there after work to pick up Tate and we motored on home.  

The only issue with all of this was that Tate was exhausted.  I knew it would make for a late night having to drive to the pool, so not arriving there until 530, having to get him changed, so we didn't leave until 545.  Then we were stuck in horrific traffic as I anticipated.  So it made for a very long day for my boy.  We didn't get home until 625, and we still needed dinner.  He was a hot mess of whining and frustration. But we made it through.  I however know that that's not something we can do on a regular basis.  We are always being asked to come play after work, come to the pool with Tate when you get home.  That makes for a very long day for a 6 year old who has to be up by 6am to go to various camps.  So we just don't get to do those summer evening activities, and I feel bad about that, but really, what do I do?  So we make up for it, I hope, with unstructured summer afternoons and hanging out on weekends!

I came to the end of camp rally on Friday.  I love how he loves finding my face in the audience and beaming with pride and excitement.  They asked for volunteers to come to the front to tell everyone what their favorite part of camp was...one boy and one girl from each of the two age groups.  Tate got chosen for his age group!  My little boy loves to be in the spotlight!

Tate and his counselor, Ms. V!

The performances were fun!

Friday night was Game Night and Movie Night which has really become Pizza and Movie Night.  I need to work on getting a game or two back into our repetoire.  After much fuss and complaining on his part we watched 'Monsters Inc'...I instituted a 'you choose this week's movie, I'll choose next week's' about a month ago after we watched 'Cars' for 3 weeks in a row.  I get lots of complaints and tears about how he doesn't want to watch my choices, but each time I just turn the movies on, and he ends up trying hard to not look interested or watching and lo and behold watches the movies in their entirety and telling me how much he liked them!  Sigh.  But it works.  So he didn't want to watch 'Monsters Inc.'  I said fine, but that's what I'm putting on.  This time I had to tell him he had to watch for 10 minutes and that I was going to set the timer.  So he grudgingly came over to watch and I set the timer for 10 15 minutes, and he was hooked!  When the timer went off I told him he didn't have to watch anymore, and he looked at me like I was a loon :)

Saturday ended up being one of our best days of summer.   We went over to my friend Bryan's to go swimming in his pool for a bit.  Ended up spending the entire morning hanging out in the heat while the kids swam...our friend Alison came with her two and Bryan's sister came with her 3 from out of town along with Bryan's parents.  Of note, Bryan does not have any kids :)  It was so nice to just hang out and drink mimosas while the kids had an absolute blast.  Bryan got in with the kids after a bit to cool off, then Alison's husband showed up and jumped in with them as well.  But the kids were great in the pool alone most of the time!

And Tate!  Well Tate is a rock star!  He's been struggling trying to figure out how to dive under water to get rings off the bottom..not diving into the pool, but diving under the water.  He always ends up floating immediately back to the top.  As little as two weeks ago, he couldn't do it.  We've practiced together at our neighborhood pool with me giving him a push on the head or back, and he's been working on it in swim lessons since we started 5 years ago.  I told his instructor that that's what he wants most to get better at.  Well lo and behold he's figured it out!!!  I am so very proud of him!!!  And he's so very proud of himself!!!

Saturday late afternoon we had a birthday party at an indoor swim school!  Tate passed the swim test (of course :) ), so he didn't have to wear a life vest.  He had an absolute blast!   

The kids swam a little over an hour and then the son-cone truck came!!

I love that happy blue bubblegum covered face :)

Homegoing Celebration for Aunt Brenda - The 7th Week of Summer 2015

The weekend before we left for Virginia was like any other weekend, just tinged with a lot of sadness and reflection in our hearts, especially mine.

Saturday Tate asked to wash my car...free car washing?  I was all over that.  I anticipate that in about 10 years he'll be haggling with me to wash the car in exchange for driving it :)

We also headed out for some yummy sno-cones at the best place in town-Mam's!

Sunday we headed over the neighborhood pool for some Mommy and Tate time in the water.  We had an absolutely lovely time!!

The pool is just about 1/2 mile from our house, so to get in some exercise we walked to and from the pool!  Bonus...we were dry by the time we got home!

Monday and Tuesday Tate went to a half day Lego camp and then Nanny S brought him home to play.  Sadly Tate could not stand this camp...he's never disliked one of his camps, so I believe him when he said he didn't enjoy himself.  We'll not be returning next summer.

Tuesday evening Nanny S and Tate picked me up from work and we headed off to the airport, as we had an early evening flight up to Virginia for my aunt's funeral the next day.  Though traffic was awful we made it in time...of course it helped that our flight was delayed by 30 minutes!  Lindsey met us at the airport for the flight.

The flight left around 745pm.  Tate was sound asleep by 815 or so :)  and slept the entire flight.  He was even already in his pajamas when he and Nanny S met me at my office.  My dad and mom picked us update late that night and drove us the 75 minutes into town.  Tate fell back asleep immediately in the car. 

Tate and I woke up at my aunt and uncle's (My aunt is Aunt Brenda's older sister) house where we had stayed with my mom.  Lindsey and my dad stayed at my cousin Erik's house.  We then all met at my Uncle Melville and Aunt Brenda's home to go to the church for the homegoing service.  My parents rode in the limo with the siblings and Aunt Brenda's family.  My aunt was a Delta Sigma Theta, so the unofficial 'colors' of the service were red and white.

A homegoing celebration.  For my Aunt Brenda.  Those words just do not go together.

We arrived at the church.  The siblings and family assembled and then we processed into the church, down the aisle to say good-bye to Aunt Brenda one last time before they closed her casket.  As we milled about outside in preparation for our walk we greeted family we haven't seen in years.  The love and sorrow outside in the Virginia humid morning was palpable.  So much love.  So very much love.  Then we made our way inside.  As I walked down the aisle I was gripping Tate's hand with Lindsey gripping his other hand.  Once in front of my dear Aunt Brenda I lifted Tate up so he could see her one last time and told him to tell her good-bye which my sweet boy did.  I then placed him on the ground and leaned over to kiss her beautiful face and say my own good-bye.  I was shocked by how cold her face was for my Aunt Brenda was the warmest person you'd ever met!  She was full of life, love, joy and just breathed life.  I was heartbroken and could barely see the aisle as we walked back out.  My cousin Cheryl stopped me and said I could go back if I needed more time, and I said I didn't need more time, I just needed time to go back.

We, the family, gathered back outside.  Brenda's husband, two children and two grandchildren went in first followed by her siblings.  We were next right behind my Aunt Pam and her husband, my Uncle John.  (how I love me some Aunt Pam)  I love how when we were getting seated she switched places with Uncle John to be sitting next to me.

The service was amazingly beautiful.  A testament to the love and joy Aunt Brenda brought to all who met her.  The gospel music was amazing.  The pastor was fantastic.  The sorrow and love were so thick I felt like I was swimming in it.

And my Tate.  He did so well.  There were several little cousins present.  My aunt's two grandchildren, one 6 one 13.  Tate loves loves loves 6 year old Jalen and kept begging to go sit with Jalen in the front row during the ceremony;  he just didn't understand why he couldn't.  During one of the beautiful solos everyone, and I mean everyone was in tears including my Tate and sweet Jalen.  They were both sobbing.  God's love touched everyone through those words and melody, even our littlest people.

 

There were 3 other 6 year olds present, a 3 year old and a 2 year old.  I must say they did just amazingly well....no interruptions.  No crying.  Certainly some wiggling and asking when it was going to be time to go, but for being in a warm church full of sadness for over 2 hours they did so very well.  They were touched, blessed and full of the Holy Spirit.

Tate and his cousin Kayla after the homegoing celebration.

We made our way to the cemetery to say our final good-bye under a sky so blue and clear you felt like God was just peering down on us smiling brightly because He was bringing one of His favorite daughters home.

Afterwards we made our way to the repass at my Uncle Melville's club.  It was a time of fellowship, great food (catered by my Aunt Janice!), reflection and just the love of family.

This is when I know God loves us.  That though all of our hearts are broken, He loves us.  He brought us together from all over the country to be together as family.  And how this family loves one another.  How we love each other.  And the friends of our family.  We are so blessed.  So many friends of my aunts who remembered me as a little girl who couldn't wait to come tell me hello and give me hugs.  So many who I remembered from when I was 8 or 10 or 14 years of age.  Just love.

God's love and family.

All of the first cousins, minus only 3 (one had to leave early, two were unable to make the celebration)

My dad and his remaining siblings.  My dad is the oldest.
L-R Aunt Jean, Aunt Janice, my sweet daddy, Uncle Cary, Aunt Pam

The siblings and Uncle Melville 

First, second and third cousins!!

Some outtakes of cousin love...

Amiya there in the red and white was the apple of
Aunt Brenda's eye...her beloved granddaughter! 

And there's Jalen whom Aunt Brenda absolutely adored
sitting next to Tate who adores him as well.

Four years ago these little children were 2 years old (Tate was almost 2...his birthday was a week after the reunion).  My aunt had a lovely collage of these 5 together hanging in our house...absolutely lovely.  I just had to re-create it in her honor.

My dad with sweet Amiya.  He asked for a picture with her!  :)

I love how he loves her!!

Amiya and her daddy, my Aunt Brenda's son Lander

The littlest of us... a new generation of love.

And then there was the joy of being little and with your family...

Sweet Geneva :)  named after my grandmother,
Aunt Brenda's mommy.

Once all the food had been eaten, the kids had worn themselves out, the hugs had been given, the promises had been made to see each other more often on more joyous occasions we made our way back to my Uncle Melville's.  Tate, my mom and I went in the limo with my Aunt Pam and my Uncle Melville.

At Aunt Brenda and Uncle Melville's we relaxed and just sat for a few minutes.  People started trickling back in.  One of my mom's cousins came by to pay her respects and my mom was so happy to see her.  

Food was delivered, ordered by a family friend and I just relished in the bosom of my family.  I scavenged in Uncle Melville's pantry to try to find something suitable for Tate to eat.  And I thought to myself 'This is what family does.'  We feel free to root around in the pantry and refrigerator to find food and drink.  We make it home no more than every other year, yet it feels like home.  Family is home.  As I sat down and watched my child laugh and have a blast, as I watched my dad miss his sister, as I saw my mom smile and my aunts, cousins and uncles laugh I thought this is what my life is about.  Not about how much money I have, not about the exotic places I take Tate, not about whether or not my floor is vacuumed, but this.  This love.  This connection to our family.

Your family will love and miss you forever Aunt Brenda.  We cannot wait to see you again!!