Bless You Mama!

As I was lotioning and dressing Tate for bed tonight after his bath I sneezed.  And no cuter words have been spoken by anyone as my sweet sweet boy said "Bless You Mama, Bless You."  My heart is so full of love for him tonight, I'm overwhelmed.  


And then I really realized for the first time that I am no longer alone in this big house.  I have lived here alone for about 7 years save for the 1 year Lindsey lived here after graduate school.  This beautiful child of mine will live with me for the next 16 years, God willing and for how ever long he needs to after that.   I will not be alone in here again.  Oh I know there will be many many days and nights I will wish I was alone.  And that God may have a different plan for Tate and me, but my prayer is that we live together no matter where it may be for as long as possible.  


And Tate.  Tate is amazing.  He loves life.  He's such a happy boy when he's not melting down over some perceived slight by those he loves the most.  And the talking, and the expressions, and the gestures, and the hugs and the kisses.  In the bathtub now he loves to hold to bar of soap and have it slip out of his hands into the water.  Then we both say "Where'd it go?"  "I don't know" he says slurring the 'd' of don't in such a cute manner all the while turning his hands up, then he sticks them into the water to find the soap.  Once found, we both shout "There it is!"  He is great about saying 'thank you' and 'you're welcome.'  He loves 'sharing' his food with his grandparents every night when we skype, and my parents indulge him by making the goofiest of faces and noises as they pretend to eat the offered morsel.  He can just about climb the stairs without holding on, though I make him.  He is awesome at counting to 10.  And he remembers people so well.  I can show him a picture and if he's met the person, he will tell you their name.  


I never knew motherhood could be like this.  I feel like I coasted by that first year.  I see videos of him and hear myself narrating and I can barely remember him as a precious 6 month old.  I can barely remember the feel of him in my arms, that sweet baby feel curled up against me.  Why is it so hard to remember how yummy that was?  As I look at the boy he is becoming I'm so nostalgic for what has transpired though excited and admittedly a bit anxious about what is to come.  And tonight, tonight for the very first time I was shaken to my very core with how very much I love this human being I brought into this world.  I hated to put him in his crib and be apart from him.  All of a sudden my mommy bear has come out...do not mess with my boy.  I've always loved him, and goodness knows he was more than wanted.  I cannot truly express how different I feel this minute, this night.  This child of mine means the world to me, and noone, noone can ever love him as I do.  I am his protector, his shield, his guardian, his mama.  Hear me roar.

Haircut #5 today - not terribly thrilled

After - at home and much happier!