This morning was certainly not my finest moment in motherhood. Even now the mere remembrance of it shakes me up because I have never been so frustrated and angry with Tate. After breakfast he wanted his pacifier, and I told him no (he KNOWS his pacifier is only for sleeptime AT home). And the meltdown that ensued was one for the record books.
Mind you, he wasn't dressed for school yet, it was 7:04am and we need to leave at 7:20, no later than 7:25am. I also needed to change his diaper and put his sunscreen on him. And oh yes his socks and shoes. I hurriedly finished my makeup and had thankfully done my hair while he finished his Cheerios while he flailed about. Thrashing about with screaming would be a better description. I picked him up while being kicked and practically spit at while he cried. We seemingly wrestled on the floor while I put on his sunscreen, shoved his socks on, changed the diaper on a butt that was half in the air, pulled pants up crookedly and maneuvered his shirt over his head and left it unbuttoned. The shoes were an absolute no-go. We were both miserable. Amazingly, this was complete by 7:19am. He was still pitching an absolute fit with the same intensity. I ran downstairs and put our stuff in the car, then came back up to get him. As I walked down the stairs carrying my screaming, bucking child we almost fell down the stairs together. I sat him down immediately and tried to grab his attention by raising my voice close to his precious face...no go. Back up we went and out into the humid hotness that is Houston at 7:30 in the morning. So much for my hair and makeup. We spent a good 5 minutes wrangling with each other about him getting into the car seat. By now I was at my wit's end. I'm yelling, he's screaming and nothing is being accomplished.
I gave up.
I ran back into the house upstairs and got a blasted pacifier. Defeated I gave it to him. Surprisingly he looked as defeated as I felt.
We made it to daycare pacifier in mouth. One of his teachers tried to take the pacifier away (he never has one at daycare and sleeps like a champ there without it!!). That evoked the saddest little face, so she gave it back to him. I sat him down with his little friends and gave him some yogurt melts for which he immediately hurled the pacifier my way so he could shovel those in his mouth.
I crouched down and apologized for losing my temper to such an extent and asked him to say I'm sorry to me as well for his behavior which he promptly did. Whether he know what he said or meant it or not is immaterial. We kissed and made up. He was all smiles as I walked out the door feeling like it was already 5:00.
I felt awful all day. I was assured he won't remember, but I always will.
Next time I'll give myself a time out. And maybe just grab the pacifier. Yes, it's not good for his teeth, but there are times where I just need to give in and decide is this battle worth it for either one of us? I can honestly say that this battle this morning was not worth it for me. First thing in the morning on a workday when you're already rushed for time and have minimal time together is not the time for a life lesson.
A lesson I sadly learned the hard way.
1 comment:
I've had times like this--more than I care to admit. Every parent has to pick their battles but especially we single moms. It's so hard to be good and bad cop. No, it's impossible sometimes. Coicindently, just yesterday, I was thinking I need to give myself more timeouts when things get nuts around here.
Post a Comment