3:57AM

So much for being my son's protector, shield or guardian. I feel like an uttermost failure.

Last night, Tate went down with relative ease at 7:30pm. Not a tear or a whine. I followed suit at 10pm. At 10:47pm he woke up very upset, so I just brought him into bed with me. We bed-share more often than not. I have bed rails, but only keep the side up opposite from the side I sleep on. (you can probably see where this is going).

I slept pretty well besides being aware Tate was moving about ALOT. He was upside down, he was sideways, he was tucked between my legs. Somehow at some point he ended up on top of my legs to roll over. I woke up immediately but not quick enough to stop my sweet boy from tumbling out of bed onto his face.

Horror. Absolute horror that I allowed this to happen.

I scooped him up and ran into the bathroom. He had cut his bottom lip with his lower teeth. The dental professional in me took over. I checked for loose, broken or displaced teeth, torn frenum, trauma to his nose or head. I didn't see any other issues. I gave him some motrin immediately for pain control as well as to help alleviate the certain swelling. All this interspersed with lots of tears, kisses and hugs. We then ventured downstairs for a middle of the night popsicle to also help keep the swelling to a minimum. He calmed greatly once he realized he was getting a popsicle. He gulped most of that down, but the poor baby was just shaking. I'm sure from the shock of the fall, the popsicle and the certain discomfort.

I too was shaking.

We went back upstairs, got his loveys and pacifier (a good sign that he took it with no problems) and I got in my glider and held him for the 2 hours as he slept while I cried and
dozed.

He is absolutely fine today with the exception of the slightly swollen lower lip. I, however, am afraid to go to sleep. Obviously co-sleeping isn't working so well for us. How do other people do it for 2,3,4 years?

This was the first time I've been so upset when something has happened to him. I never thought I would be the one he needed protecting from. And I know that that's a bit extreme, but that's where I am today. Happily, Tate is not. He greeted me this morning with his usual smile and insistence that we watch some Tate videos! That's my boy!! And oh how I love him!