Give Him a Break

'Give him a break.'  That's what my neighbor suggested to me this morning when Tate was almost hysterical after I half-snapped him into his carseat.  He is almost 2 1/2 and words cannot express how things have changed.  Everyone warned me about 2 1/2.  I guess I shamelessly thought it wouldn't happen to me, but it has.  My amenable, easy-going child has learned how to say complete sentences.


"I don't want to brush my teeth."
"I don't want dinner."
"I don't want to take a bath."
"I don't want milk right there on my Cheerios."
"I don't want to wear the fox shirt."
"I don't want to go potty."

You get the idea.


And then there's the..


"I want yogurt raisins Mommy" screeched at the top of his lungs first thing in the morning.
  But wait..not in there, in there, no not in there, on that.  Meltdown because somehow, someway that's not what he meant.


Then there are the random meltdowns.  No reasons, just constant whining.


So this morning, he wanted cheerios for breakfast.  I wasn't fast enough.  Yes he wanted yogurt, no he didn't want yogurt.  Somehow I got it all wrong.  Then he decides he wants oatmeal.  Tears stop as I make the oatmeal.  I put ice in it to cool it off.  I give it to him (and oh yea he's got that damn pacifier because he already melted down about leaving it in the crib this morning, though yesterday he threw it in there upon waking!).  Then it's too cold.  Too cold Mommy.  I want it warm.  Ok I'll make you some more. I don't want anymore Mommy;  I want this.  It's too cold.  


And then the crying ensued.  He ate 3 yogurt covered blueberries for breakfast.


Getting dressed was an ordeal.  He didn't want to change.  He didn't want to pee on the potty, but after peeing in his diaper he didn't want to be changed.  And the shoes, the shoes.  We wrestled to get the shoes on.  What a disaster.  I was sweating.  He was too.  I felt like I was manhandling my poor son.


 I refused to let him take his pacifier and hippo in the car with him.  Granted I told him he could take the hippo, but that just leads to hysteria if he has to leave the sue-y.  He refused to come down the stairs.  Oh and it was 43 degrees;  I wanted him in a coat.  A recipe for disaster.


He laid out on the floor, crying absolutely hysterically.  Not just mad, but sad, distraught, out of control.  


We got downstairs to the tile floor and he practically threw himself to the ground to not put his coat on. I practically yelled 'FINE,  FREEZE THEN!'  I picked him up none too gently and we headed out to the car.  What a nightmare...raring back, bucking bronco, all the while screaming and crying like his world was coming to an end.  I got his arms buckled in amidst dodging his arms and legs, and I couldn't get the crotch part of the belt done.  I had had it.  I did something I never do.  I spanked his little pull-up covered heiny 3 times.  (with no change in hysteria from him!).  That's when I realized we had both gone too far.  Me for spanking in anger (something I said I would never do;  I don't even believe in swats on the hand!) and he was just inconsolable.  I stood beside the car with my head on my hands in tears.  


And my neighbor came outside to go to work.  He has 3 kids..5 1/2, 4 and 2 1/2 year olds.  I just looked at him and said "Tate's just a-screaming."  And he said "Give him a break.  With 3 kids I know.  It's not worth it.  Give him a break."  My response was "I'm going to be late for work"  His response..."Who cares?"  And I thought to myself he is right.  What's more important here...calming my child and myself down so we can have a pleasant separation in a few minutes and no regrets or getting to work on time upset, stressed and my baby completely beside himself and missing me.  


Who cares.


I ran upstairs and got his hippo and sue-y.  Came back down and unbuckled him (I had told him I was going to get his things).  Held him close in my arms and apologized amidst our tears.  We stood there for a few minutes while we collected ourselves.  At daycare he had a difficult time separating from me as I expected, but there were no tears.  He just wanted his teacher to hold him a minute.


Pick-up was great.  He ran up to me and wanted to be held immediately.  I had to carry him to the car with his head on my shoulder :)  He has become very cuddly lately and I absolutely love it.  Tonight was great...well he had 3 bowls of cheerios for dinner, but meh he ate great at daycare, so no harm.  


And now he's sound asleep, and I will be joining him soon.


I'm going to remember that from now though.  'Give him a break.'  Sometimes that's just what he needs as well as me.  The dishes will still get done, clothes will be washed, Gymboree will be there even if we're late and work will be there.  I can't always be late, and I have to care at some point.  But my child, my family is my priority and that's how life should be.  And sometimes we both just need a break.

January 10, 2012...I love that he can speak in complete sentences !!
January 9, 2012...I love his sweet crossbite smile!
January 8, 2012...I love watching him enjoy his favorite pasttime..riding the train at the Hermann Park Train at the zoo!!