Inquiring Minds Want to Know....

When did 6:45am become sleeping in?


Yep!  Tate slept until 6:45 Tuesday morning!!!


He did not make one peep, one sound, one noise the entire night.  


Peaceful, joyful sleep.


I was ecstatic!!  And stunned. 


Is all it took to sleep being at Daddy's house? :)  I highly doubt it, and actually I'm pretty sure that wasn't it as it also took him 3 days once we returned to the states to figure out the time zone and sleeping as well :)

TV tower at Alexanderplatz

We got up and played in the bedroom for a few minutes, but then he was absolutely starving by 7:30.  We wandered into the kitchen for some breakfast.  I had mailed a package of Tate's favorite foods to Christian, so he was able to have some American Cheerios (happy boy, happy boy).  I also had sent some of his oatmeal, so he was in heaven when he saw the package.  


Now try keeping a 2 1/2 year old quiet when he's slept almost 12 hours.  Next to impossible!  Christian tried mightily to continue sleeping to no avail.  Plus I needed his help with the stove :(  Tate ate, then played with his trains and books.  In addition, Christian had gone all out and borrowed two huge boxes of toys and books from a friend of his with young children.  The books were in German though, and Tate ended up not being terribly interested, and the toys were a bit too young for him AND we had the Mickey Mouse puzzles we had bought in Frankfurt.  But I really appreciated Christian's effort...it meant alot.

On the train!!

As I wrote in a previous post we decided to head out to Zoologischer Garten (the Berlin Zoo) that morning.  As usual I wanted to get an early start to work some of Tate's energy off instead of keeping him cooped up in the flat where all he wanted to do was watch 'Thomas' on the computer.  And early is not in Christian's vocabulary.  I opted to get a head start on walking to Alexanderplatz to catch the train to the zoo.  I got all of our stuff together and headed off with Tate!!  It was about a 30 minute walk, but though a bit warm it was nice to be out and about.  Christian caught up with us just as we got to the train station.  We got our tickets and headed off.  I felt like Christian was upset or frustrated, but just couldn't put my finger on why things felt off.


Once we got off at our stop Tate was starting to whine and as it was about 11:45 I knew he was hungry.  We had nothing really for him to eat except his snack type foods...mum mums, cheerios, pretzels etc because he had refused the chicken breast the night before and I knew he would not eat it again.  We stopped at KFC on the way to the zoo (which about killed me...KFC is bad enough here, much less in a foreign country) and we got Tate some french fries.  And get this...you get one little ketchup packet per person.  One.  That's it.  You have to pay for anymore.  Now I didn't know this, so when asked if I wanted ketchup with my chicken strips I said no because I didn't want any.  And Tate loves ketchup with his fries.  We sit down outside to eat and I open one packet for him having eyeballed another packet on the table and told him when he was done with that one I'd open the other.  He started whining for the second when finished with the first and I turn around to see Christian has used the other packet for himself.  Sigh.  See, a parent doesn't do that in my opinion.  When I asked if he could just go grab a couple more he told me we would have to pay and that's why he asked if I wanted some with my food.  Ugh...why not have told me this?  But again he heard me say the other packet was for Tate, and he huffily told me that he wanted ketchup too.  Sigh.  All this over a damn ketchup packet.

We moved on and went to the zoo. 




 Tate was starting to whine which is a clear indication he's tired or hungry.  This is my child who rarely whines or fusses.  And I was a bit annoyed because I knew this would happen if we left so late in the morning.  We would get to the zoo and he would fall asleep.  Had we gotten moving at 830 he could have enjoyed at least an hour, taken a nap and we could have done the aquarium afterwards. (it took well over an hour to get there via public transportation and walking)


So we ended up walking Tate around not stopping, trying to help him fall asleep.  I have learned over the past few months that if Tate can see someone he knows from under the canopy of his stroller he is much less likely to fall asleep as he'll be trying to see what they're doing, what they're talking about etc. When I asked Christian to walk beside me and not in front of me because of this I upset him yet again.  I really don't know why;  maybe I said it in exasperation, maybe I said it meanly, maybe I was just frustrated because my kid was whining and I knew he needed some rest, AND I wanted to enjoy the zoo.

Okapi

Finally he fell asleep.  This time I gave him enough time to really be asleep before I put the stroller seat down for him :)  Then Christian and I were able to relax and enjoy the animals ourselves and just sit and be.

I think this is a great pic of Christian!

Tate woke up after about 45 minutes in a very good mood.  We took him to see the elephants, the giraffes, the monkeys and then headed to the aquarium.

We wandered around the zoo a bit more;  Tate got an icee and was the happiest boy on the planet :)  We then began our journey home after being at the zoo for about 2 hours.  It was an absolutely gorgeous day; a bit warm but gorgeous.  Christian had planned to have a small dinner party that evening, so I could meet some of his closest friends.  We needed to get home to give him time to get everything ready as well as get Tate in bed.  We strolled back to the train station, hopped the train with Tate in tow (up and down stairs with the stroller :)  ).  Once back at Alexanderplatz we took the tram back to his block...wow a 6 minute tram ride vs the over 30 minute walk in the morning!  Bliss!!  There was a store I had seen that morning with gorgeous wooden toys I wanted to take Tate into, so we stopped in on our walk home.  Tate had an absolute blast trying everything out...

100% into this cool table!

 Once home, Christian headed off to get supplies for dinner, and I attempted the chicken breast for Tate again...no go.  He ate some yogurt and some cheerios I believe for dinner and lots of milk.  We were expecting his friends, a couple, M and M to arrive around 6 so they could see Tate before he was almost in bed.  I wanted Tate in bed as early as possible because he had napped for such a short period of time.  They arrived as I was dressing him for bed, so they did get to see him (oh and the two boys took their nightly bath together!).  His very best friend Mi (all these M names!) arrived with her boyfriend around 6:45, but I had already shut the door to read Tate his stories, and the last I needed was my child all riled up with new people.  He was in the PNP snoozing away by 7:15.


Dinner was yummy.  I was thrilled to meet Mi who I am FB friends with because of Christian, though we had never met.  We've even chatted a few times on FB.  Of all of Christian's friends I wanted to meet her most of all.  M and M are two people he climbs with, (a heterosexual couple) and they are quite close.  I could tell he had mentioned Tate's early bedtime etc from the comments they made to me, and I felt not the least bit supported by him in this aspect of my raising of Tate.  And yes I am diligent about Tate's sleep, this is one aspect of his life I rarely budge on.  And you know why...because when he doesn't sleep, I DON'T SLEEP.  Noone else wakes up with him in the middle of the night when he's overtired.  Noone else wakes up with him at 5:30 or 5:00 in the morning.  Noone.   And I have a little boy who rarely has the nightly 'witching hour' because I am so protective of his sleep.  He has never slept a great deal as he's apparently on the low end of sleep needs, and I've learned to live with this.  We get to spend some amazing quality time together on the weekend mornings because we're up together so early.  We do more before 9am than most people do in 12 hours.   As well I have learned the hard way that the later he goes to bed the earlier he wakes up.  Still.  So again, when he doesn't sleep, I DON'T SLEEP.  


And Christian did not get up one morning with him while we were there.  He never offered.  He never asked me what I would like for breakfast.   


Obviously this was not our best day.  And I probably shouldn't post such personal musings.  And I love Christian.  I absolutely adore him.  And I know that he 100% loves me.  And that's probably the biggest problem...how very much we care for one another...that makes for some huge expectations.  And we're two extremely sensitive people, from different countries and different cultures with completely different lifestyles...financially, sexually, emotionally, you name it.  And we both adore Tate, and we are desperately trying to figure out how to make all of this be ok for him.  He's the most important person here.  Our 'family' has no role model...both Christian and I come from intact Christian family units.  My other SMC friends all used anonymous donors.  Even the ones on the listserv who used known donors do not have the relationship that Christian and I do.  We are forging this alone, and though we have days like this we do always find our way back to one another.  And obviously this was just our 5th day in Germany, so there was a bit more to come.  


But we'll figure this out.  We haven't talked much since I've returned home, but we will.  We will.  


Because that sweet boy upstairs deserves our best.  And Christian and I deserve the best from each other.


And hey!  I got some awesome sleep the night before :)  Though I'll admit I did wake up around 5 and then again around 6 scared to death something had happened to Tate.  But I went back to sleep both times!!!  :)