Times Like These

I have so many post ideas floating in my head I don't know where to start.

So I'll start with the mundane minutia of our lives.  Tate and I have had a pretty good week.  Though we are both miserable with allergies, and I mean miserable we're doing well.  We got in a good groove this week in the mornings even with him waking at 5AM.  I am still sleeping downstairs during the work week, but I obviously still hear and then see him on the video monitor.  He tosses and turns and sometimes calls out for me "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy", but I just don't give in.  I do not understand for the life of me why he goes to sleep around 8PM and wakes up to start his day at 5AM.  Gah!  Granted he was falling asleep around 830, but every night this week I've given him 12.5 mg of Benadryl because he is coughing so much.  And yes I know it's sedating, and I know it's not recommended for kids under 6.  His ENT approved it for him because nothing else works on his cough.  I tried Zyrtec for over a week with no results, except a little guy who coughed himself to sleep. He already takes Singular regularly with the anti-histamine prn (as needed).  Anyway I'm a big mess of gunk also.  I am so tired of not being able to breathe which absolutely exhausts me.  I'm not getting near enough oxygen in, and I'm just miserable. 

But hopefully after the day we had today we'll see some changes in how we both feel and get him to go back to sleeping until 6!

So we woke at 5.  I dozed until 545 and finally got upstairs to get him after getting his breakfast ready at 6:05.  He had a long whiny 20 minute meltdown for reasons I have absolutely no clue about.  He was climbing into his chair to eat breakfast and I was going to get him a napkin.  Something happened or wasn't exactly to his precise liking and he was just crying and boo-hooing.  It lasted 20 minutes!  Several hiccups later he ate his breakfast.  We got dressed, hairs done, make-up on and out the door at 803AM!  First stop was a haircut for Tate at 8:30.  Next a zip through the drive-thru at Chick-Fil-A to get me some breakfast because I wasn't hungry when I woke up, but that biscuit was way too much something (a testament to my healthy eating this week) and I only ate about half.  Swim lessons were next at 9:30.  My parents met us at swim lessons because I needed to drive out to Katy for a doctor's appointment (25 miles away...don't ask).  I've been having pain in my upper right sternum.  The young doc thinks it's costochondritis, but I'll be having a chest x-ray next week to rule out anything more ominous.  

Left Katy around 11:30 to head back to town, picked up and dropped off my contribution thus far to Tate's school's fall festival next weekend, so I got home around 12:30.  Hung out with the 'rents for a bit then loaded Tate up in the car for our trek to Clear Lake (28 miles away...a good 45 minute drive) for his appointment with his ENT.  I anticipated he would take a good nap in the car.  He did fall asleep immediately, but woke 40 minutes later...why? why?  He should have been exhausted.  We were following up on the blood found in his right ear last week to be sure nothing was wrong and that we weren't going to have to remove the tubes in the office or under GA.  All is fine.  They are out of the canals and should fall out eventually.  Tate was coughing while we were there.  Jim says he agrees with our ped...it's just post nasal drip.  He doesn't have anything really to offer up except to try switching to Allegra instead of Benadryl;  it should cover Tate for 24 hours as opposed to the 6 Benadryl does.  To see how it helps with the cough.

Why did I spend 2 hours driving to various physicians?  The first is a dear friend of my sister's and as my physician could not see me today I wanted to see this new young doctor.  I am scared of what's wrong, and I couldn't wait until next Friday to get an appt with my physician.  And Tate's ENT is an old college friend of mine...we graduated together, and we've been friends since we were 18 and freshmen in college.

Finally got home around 4.  Tate was a bit cranky...this cannot be a surprise.  He was so awesome for his ENT who looked and poked around in his ears for quite some time.  But we muddled through and he was smiling by the time my girlfriend and her 21 month old arrived to return something and play a bit.  Tate was all thrilled and excited for J to come play until she was here.  The no-sharing and pushing the baby out of the way business angered me.  Where did my sweet boy go?  Sigh.

They left around 6.  I shoveled some pizza cake (cheese quesadillas...Tate chose the pizza cake name) down his throat along with some Singulair laden applesauce.  A teaspoon of Benadryl later and Tate was asleep at 7:35pm.

I ordered some pizza from Star and am drinking a glass of Sangria by SkinnyGirl.

I'm on call this weekend which sucks.  I so do not want to be bothered.  I'm tired and I'm scared.

And I'm sad.

One of my oldest and dearest friends was diagnosed with breast cancer this week, and I found out yesterday.  When I called her I burst into tears and her first response was classic, just textbook..."It's going to be ok" SHE said to ME.  How many times have we read in blurbs or articles about serious illnesses that in telling those we love that the patient ends up comforting the friend or family member.

I just cannot believe this.  I never, ever thought I would be touched by cancer in such a deep and personal way.  Yet, it's not even me.  And she's so healthy.  She just lost 30 pounds, and I promise she probably had a BMI of 23 to begin with and now she's probably now at 18.  But she feels healthier, so that's all that matters. 

But what good has it done her?  She still got breast cancer.  She has a 13 year old and a 10 year old and a great man for a husband.  

I was in her wedding.  She is my diamond sister (sorority sister stuff!) She is my original sunshine.

And then late last night I found out another sorority sister's mother passed away.  She was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic pancreatic cancer on September 17.  5 weeks ago.  S was a freshman when I was a sophomore and I was her sophomore advisor...lived right across the hall from her.  I helped rush her and was thrilled when she became an ADPi.  Though we're not close friends, those of us who are from that special place we call Southwestern University and are part of that amazing Alpha Delta Pi sorority are joined together forever in a cocoon of love I don't think many are blessed to have on this earth.  She was in town this summer and made the time to stop by and spend some time with me and meeting Tate.  And it's like we've been living in LK the past 26 years together.  And now her sweet Mommy is gone.  Godspeed Mrs. G.

So I'm tired.  So very tired.  I'm of the age where our middle age health is starting to fail.  I'm of the age where we start losing our parents.  For that's part of our sadness during these times isn't it?  The fact that we know this could so easily have been any of us.  That by God's grace it wasn't me this time.  And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I don't start taking better care of this body God graced me with, how I feel today is how he'll feel much sooner than later...scared, worried and sad.  

So tonight I'll sleep in the room with my sweet boy.  Though we'll both struggle to breathe we'll be together.  I'll pray for my sweet J and ask for healing and treatments that will hopefully not even be necessary, but if they are, will spare her as much pain as possible.  I'll pray for dear S and her mommy as well as her son and her entire family, thankful that her mother is no longer in pain.  She's up there watching out for her precious, precious family.  And those of us left here on earth will look after S in her spirit.