I've decided to enroll Tate in a new school next year. Problem is I just don't know which one. And I do not, do not want to leave his current school. Gosh I'm about to cry even thinking about leaving the wonderful teachers at Messiah. I can barely read this screen. He's so very happy there, so happy. They let the kids be kids. And yet they still learn so very much. It's not the fanciest, it's not the hippest, newest place, but it's full of love. Every single teacher knows every single child. Every single teacher that sees us in the mornings says hello. Every single one. And they say Tate's name. Every single one. All the kids know each other and know everyone else's parents.
But I live in the city. A huge city. And the public school system is overworked, understaffed and under financed. This is Rick Perry's Texas, don't forget. Education is not high on his list of important entities. I believe I'm going to have to continue living here in town for the foreseeable future as it's where my job is. I can't see driving 30-60 minutes home every night in hideous, and I mean hideous traffic to get home to my child. Trying to make it to soccer practice or football practice (bite my tongue!) or parent/teacher conference or just to spend time with my beautiful boy. The possible stress of that paralyzes me.
So, I'm looking into private schools for Tate, and I feel that he has a better chance of getting in if I move him in preschool rather than kindergarten. Gosh I don't know. I just don't know. Maybe it is better to move him when he starts kindergarten when all of his other friends are moving from Messiah. Sigh. I do not know the right answer here.
In any event, I'm looking at new schools. I attended an open house type event a couple of Sundays ago where over 100 private schools were handing out information of their schools. It wasn't anything in depth, just scores of tables with brochures and minimal information. And included in this minimal information was lists of dates for open houses for all of these schools. And they're always in the evenings right after work (as they should be). Most of them request 'parents only', though why you would bring your kid escapes me. Tate would not sit through a 2 hour open house at 6:30 in the evening for any sort of reason, bribe or promise.
So, tonight was the open house for one of the schools I'm considering...an Episcopal Montessori school. I'm looking for a school which seems relaxed and not too snobby, diverse not only racially and ethnically, though that is of utmost importance to me, but one that has many different family structures...one mom, one dad, mom and dad, two dads etc. I want a place with extended care which has the kids divided into age appropriate groups...not the various ages all together. I'd like a place where I can provide meals and snacks...my list runs the gamut here.
And I don't want to spend a quarter of a million dollars for my child to go to school BEFORE college. Because the average private school education kindergarten-12th grade is about $225,000-250,000. That figure includes all the donations that are usually requested, application fees, book fees, class trip fees, uniform fees, sports fees...fees, fees, fees.
Sigh.
But my dilemma today, what was laying on my heart all day today, was that after dropping Tate at school at 7:30 happy as a clam reading a book I would not see him until tomorrow morning. We have never gone that long without seeing each other. He has been put to bed at night a couple of times by someone else when I went out, but I never left before 6:30 or so, so though he went to sleep without me he saw me really close to bedtime, and knew I would be back later that evening. Dropping him off at school and not seeing him until tomorrow morning was just unfathomable to me. And he's spent the night at my parents' twice so far, but again I've left around 3pm and returned by 10am the next day. I can't put my finger on why this was so different, so difficult. Probably because this entire choosing a school process is so overwhelming, scary and just so HUGE to me. I'm so completely befuddled. I was almost in tears all day. Which made me on edge with all of my patients. Oh, it's so very hard. Lindsey picked Tate up from school, played with him, fed him, read him stories, brushed his teeth and had an absolute great time with him, and I knew he would be just fine with her. He absolutely adores her. And last night as I was lamenting having to not see him tonight she told me I needed to do this. What I was doing I was doing FOR HIM. I didn't need to rush home as I was telling her I was planning on doing. She told me I needed to stay and get the information I needed because this could feasibly be for the next 12 years for him. And I know she's right. It didn't make it easier though. But I stayed for 90 minutes. 90 whole minutes. And actually most people were trying to leave when I was. I saw what I needed to see and I'll be going back for a private tour. I'd like to see the entire school, not just the room he would be in next year. There will be several more open houses in my future and I need to make peace with this. This entire process. I need to pray. That's what I need to do. I need to pray.
I got home around 7:45. I threw my shoes off and tiptoed upstairs and slowly opened our bedroom door. The lights were out and the lullaby CD was softly playing. Tate was lying in his Aunt Lindsey's arms in the glider, curled up content. I gathered him up as she quietly left the room. I whispered "How was school?" He responded in his sweet voice "Leo was there!" All was right in his world. I asked if he wanted Mommy to rock and hold him a bit more and he said "Yes." And rocked him for a bit more I did.
He and Aunt Lindsey did just fine. He was awesome she said. And I think they had a great time....
And I can't wait to see this face tomorrow morning....
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| This is him from breakfast this morning; note his homework right beside him! |
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