Exhibit A - Naptime
Exhibit B - Naptime continued
All this combined with a wake-up at 5:30 am this morning. BUT you say 5:30 is his normal wake-up time. Why, yes it is.
BUT WE SPRUNG AHEAD LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!
5:30 am is the old 4:30 am!!
WTH???
How on earth did he know it was 5:30 in the new 'time?'
He's 2 1/2!
From what I've ascertained he's not psychic or clairvoyant! How does this happen?
Why does this happen?
TO ME!!!
So up at 5:30, 4:30 hell it could have been 3:30. At those times of the morning what difference does it really make?
Then he refused to nap. For 1 1/2 hours we argued, fought, cried, whined, jumped in the bed, argued some more, threatened. Finally I gave up and we came downstairs to play, did some art work and all that fun stuff. And he actually only whined a little on such a small amount of sleep, so I'm grateful for that.
Then I figured he has got to make up some sleep tonight. He should be in bed by 6:30 tonight.
Nope.
Nada.
Nyet.
This was by far our worst night. EVER. I don't need to say much more. I am exhausted physically and emotionally. I feel guilty as I was far from the mother I ever wanted to be tonight. I have upset my child, angered him and I'm pretty sure scared him.
And tomorrow starts one of the longest weeks at work. Spring Break. And we just must fit everyone in. And I'm already at my breaking point.
So, I'm going to clean up our art mess. Have some dinner. Read a book or magazine.
And then just pray.
Pray for forgiveness for not honoring this precious gift that God has so graciously given me in the spirit of my son.
Pray for patience with this little boy whom I adore, yet today he probably wonders if it's true.
Pray for a good night's sleep or at least a peaceful rest.
Pray for a week of work that doesn't make me hate working more than I already do.
Pray for gratefulness that I have a job and a career.
Pray for Tate and me. That our relationship can weather all these storms.
And pray that these storms dissipate and become mere weather blips as I learn when to walk away or
JUST REALIZE I AM NOT IN CONTROL.
 |
| It breaks my heart to know I hurt his heart today. |
I'm going to grab this precious child and sleep with him in my arms tonight.
4 comments:
Sending up a little prayer for you tonight, too.
It can be so hard - and we're all far from perfect. Tate knows you love him. (((hugs)))
I'm sorry you had such a rough night & so little sleep. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Hope you had better sleep last night.
You WILL weather this storm. It's a rough one and maybe hearing "this too shall pass" is not going to help right now but I'm going to say it anyway.
Your love for Tate is stronger than any of his behaviors or your own lack of sleep. Hang in there--you'll make it to Friday. I know you will.
i've been reading your blog for a couple months now. I too am a choice mom with a 9month old son (who looks a lot like little Tate! :D).
It's a very sweet blog and I hope you keep writing it.
Instead of battling wills, you might try what my mum did to me and my siblings when we were little and that's to 'trick' him into doing what you want by giving him a bit of what he wants.
My mom used to take us to the park in the evening and we'd walk and walk there and then play like crazy and then walk back home by then we were too tired not to fall asleep.
He might be resisting sleep because it takes him away from you at night so this is his way of spending more time albeit not quality time with you.
Would your parents be able to stay with him until this phase passes - they might be able to ease him into his routine because they don't have the pressures of being to work on time, getting everythign prepared for the day, etc
I don't know if this will help but I do think you are a great mom, very loving and this will pass as all things do :D
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