Tate and I went to see my mom today. She just got home yesterday evening from two weeks in NYC where she said goodbye to my Uncle Jimmy. It was a long emotional time for her, and we're so very glad to have her back home.
So, we're in the kitchen at my parents'. Tate walked up to the refrigerator and said 'milk' and then did the sign for 'please.' I was amazed, proud, overwhelmed, shocked and so very thrilled!! After my mom got the milk out for him, I told him to say thank you. He actually said 'thank you' and did the sign at the same time!!!
My baby is growing up!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Ramblings
So, I already know this post will be all over the place :)
Tate has been soooo cute lately. I've switched him to short sleeve pajamas as it's getting warm here already. He is completely taken aback by the no sleeve thing. Since we started 3 days ago, he seems out of sorts everytime he gets dressed for bed. He'll put his arm through the sleeve and then looks completely bewildered when he sees his 'naked' arm. He looks at me in horror and points to his arm as if to say 'Where are the rest of my clothes Mama?' The sequence is repeated with the other arm. Every. Single. Night. Soooo cute. I have to reassure him it's ok and he will be allright.
He has become quite clingy lately. He even wants to be held here in the house. When I'm in the kitchen, in the bathroom, getting dressed...he comes over with arms in the air saying 'up.' And for whatever reason, playing with his toys holds no appeal for him. He would spend all day in my lap with me reading to him. And I'm super excited that he loves books so much, but (of course there is a but) I can barely clean up our breakfast dishes before he's in the kitchen with all his Maisy books. He immediately starts whining if I don't plop down immediately and start reading. At music class when we stand up and dance around he wants to be held. Which causes me to be short of breath immediately, as Ms. Ana has us dancing around and jumping up and down, and I'm having to do it with a 23 pound child in my arms. Apparently, I need to do warm up exercises for Toddler and Mommy music class.
He's added other words!! When he wants me to read to him he'll say Mama and book while signing book. He can also say Ava (his godfather's daughter's name), Lindsey, Vincent. He says read and truck. However, so far I have only heard the word 'no' once!!! He will shake his head no (and it's so sweet), but thank goodness I don't get the whiny toddler NOOOOO. Yet.
He loves music and will wiggle his little shoulders when he hears it.
His daycare teacher asked me if I sang the 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' with him. Sadly, I had to say I hadn't sung it with him in a long time. She told me to sing it with him to see what he did. First off, it makes me so sad to know he has all these experiences with someone else that I miss and am not part of. I'm sure there are a myriad of things he does that I'm not privy to simply because I spend 10 hours four days a week away from my beautiful child. It breaks my heart. On the one hand I'm thrilled he has these opportunities, on the other I'm jealous of those who are witness to his life when I'm not. That has to be one of the worst parts of being a single mommy by choice. I have no choice but to work. I don't even have the opportunity to cut corners and stay home. I know I didn't know how hard this part would be.
So, I sat down with him yesterday as soon as we got home (we went to the school for the Go Texan Day picnic, and I left him there to nap as he does it so much better there!). He was amazingly cute. He did the hand motions with me. I LOVE IT!!! I would have done it all day long if he would have let me. :)
My mommy returned from NYC today after being there for 2 weeks. My sweet Uncle Jimmy died Tuesday before last. He held on until she arrived (he went from ok health to on his deathbed in 2 weeks). We will be going to see her tomorrow. We've missed her for sure, but it was so great talking to my dad every night on my way home from work. I don't usually take the time to call to just talk to him, but I knew he would be lonely without my mom, so I called him every night. Tate and I went over last Sunday to just hang out and stayed a couple of hours. Watching my dad who can be a handful, laugh and play with my little boy brings me such joy. Our relationship is so enriched because of sweet Baby Tate. We've never been close, and we've had many an argument or disagreement, but he has been so very good to me. And actually he has always been good to me. I just don't think he knew how to express his love for me. But watching him with Tate his love for the both of us shines.
So, I've been all over the place, haven't I? The joys of motherhood. My little guy is sleeping the sleep of the angels. I think I'm going to close up and go join him!
Tate has been soooo cute lately. I've switched him to short sleeve pajamas as it's getting warm here already. He is completely taken aback by the no sleeve thing. Since we started 3 days ago, he seems out of sorts everytime he gets dressed for bed. He'll put his arm through the sleeve and then looks completely bewildered when he sees his 'naked' arm. He looks at me in horror and points to his arm as if to say 'Where are the rest of my clothes Mama?' The sequence is repeated with the other arm. Every. Single. Night. Soooo cute. I have to reassure him it's ok and he will be allright.
He has become quite clingy lately. He even wants to be held here in the house. When I'm in the kitchen, in the bathroom, getting dressed...he comes over with arms in the air saying 'up.' And for whatever reason, playing with his toys holds no appeal for him. He would spend all day in my lap with me reading to him. And I'm super excited that he loves books so much, but (of course there is a but) I can barely clean up our breakfast dishes before he's in the kitchen with all his Maisy books. He immediately starts whining if I don't plop down immediately and start reading. At music class when we stand up and dance around he wants to be held. Which causes me to be short of breath immediately, as Ms. Ana has us dancing around and jumping up and down, and I'm having to do it with a 23 pound child in my arms. Apparently, I need to do warm up exercises for Toddler and Mommy music class.
He's added other words!! When he wants me to read to him he'll say Mama and book while signing book. He can also say Ava (his godfather's daughter's name), Lindsey, Vincent. He says read and truck. However, so far I have only heard the word 'no' once!!! He will shake his head no (and it's so sweet), but thank goodness I don't get the whiny toddler NOOOOO. Yet.
He loves music and will wiggle his little shoulders when he hears it.
His daycare teacher asked me if I sang the 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' with him. Sadly, I had to say I hadn't sung it with him in a long time. She told me to sing it with him to see what he did. First off, it makes me so sad to know he has all these experiences with someone else that I miss and am not part of. I'm sure there are a myriad of things he does that I'm not privy to simply because I spend 10 hours four days a week away from my beautiful child. It breaks my heart. On the one hand I'm thrilled he has these opportunities, on the other I'm jealous of those who are witness to his life when I'm not. That has to be one of the worst parts of being a single mommy by choice. I have no choice but to work. I don't even have the opportunity to cut corners and stay home. I know I didn't know how hard this part would be.
So, I sat down with him yesterday as soon as we got home (we went to the school for the Go Texan Day picnic, and I left him there to nap as he does it so much better there!). He was amazingly cute. He did the hand motions with me. I LOVE IT!!! I would have done it all day long if he would have let me. :)
My mommy returned from NYC today after being there for 2 weeks. My sweet Uncle Jimmy died Tuesday before last. He held on until she arrived (he went from ok health to on his deathbed in 2 weeks). We will be going to see her tomorrow. We've missed her for sure, but it was so great talking to my dad every night on my way home from work. I don't usually take the time to call to just talk to him, but I knew he would be lonely without my mom, so I called him every night. Tate and I went over last Sunday to just hang out and stayed a couple of hours. Watching my dad who can be a handful, laugh and play with my little boy brings me such joy. Our relationship is so enriched because of sweet Baby Tate. We've never been close, and we've had many an argument or disagreement, but he has been so very good to me. And actually he has always been good to me. I just don't think he knew how to express his love for me. But watching him with Tate his love for the both of us shines.
So, I've been all over the place, haven't I? The joys of motherhood. My little guy is sleeping the sleep of the angels. I think I'm going to close up and go join him!
Monday, February 21, 2011
A Low Key Weekend
Tate and I had a low key weekend this weekend!! Lots of hanging out on the floor playing...doing puzzles which he loves and his absolute favorite bringing me Maisy books to read. I love love love when he toddles over to me, book in hand and plops his sweet bottom into my lap for me to read to him. It's just absolute mommy perfection to me. We went to visit my dad on Saturday afternoon, and they had a great time together.
We video-skyped with Christian in Berlin on Friday. Tate did not seem to quite understand that there was an actual person 'in' the computer. Sunday morning we video-skyped with our friends Silke and her 22 month old, Annabelle who live in New York. To my utter amazement, Tate said 'Annabelle' the first time I asked him to. Clear as a bell, he said it!! I was floored!! We stayed with them in NYC last summer and had just a wonderful time. The kids were sooo cute together on the computer.
The weather here has been wonderful. We've been to the park everyday this weekend. Tate loves the slides and he's actually really good at climbing all the equipment. My heart lurches every time he climbs up, but I let him have his fun. I'm always amazed by his fearlessness, courage, strength and passion for everything he does.
So nothing earth shattering to share today. Or should I rethink that statement? The mere fact that Tate is here is mind blowing. He's a real, live little person. My real, live little person. Mind boggling. And he's so much fun. He is truly my happiness. As he hugged me tonight as I was dressing him for bed, as he does every single night now, I was overcome with how very much I love him. He has his funny quirks, a great laugh, the cutest tushy, the longest legs, the softest skin, the sweetest voice, the curliest of curls for hair, gives the most amazing hugs, offers the slobberiest of kisses and brings me to my knees with joy. All of my days are earth shattering with Tate in my life.
We video-skyped with Christian in Berlin on Friday. Tate did not seem to quite understand that there was an actual person 'in' the computer. Sunday morning we video-skyped with our friends Silke and her 22 month old, Annabelle who live in New York. To my utter amazement, Tate said 'Annabelle' the first time I asked him to. Clear as a bell, he said it!! I was floored!! We stayed with them in NYC last summer and had just a wonderful time. The kids were sooo cute together on the computer.
The weather here has been wonderful. We've been to the park everyday this weekend. Tate loves the slides and he's actually really good at climbing all the equipment. My heart lurches every time he climbs up, but I let him have his fun. I'm always amazed by his fearlessness, courage, strength and passion for everything he does.
So nothing earth shattering to share today. Or should I rethink that statement? The mere fact that Tate is here is mind blowing. He's a real, live little person. My real, live little person. Mind boggling. And he's so much fun. He is truly my happiness. As he hugged me tonight as I was dressing him for bed, as he does every single night now, I was overcome with how very much I love him. He has his funny quirks, a great laugh, the cutest tushy, the longest legs, the softest skin, the sweetest voice, the curliest of curls for hair, gives the most amazing hugs, offers the slobberiest of kisses and brings me to my knees with joy. All of my days are earth shattering with Tate in my life.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Worth the Wait
Tate called me 'Mommy' today for the first time!! I was so in shock it didn't even register at first!! We were video skyping with Christian, and Tate really didn't understand that there was a real someone there talking to us. He kept bringing me books to read to him, and I was trying to juggle our conversation and entertain Tate at the same time. Apparently, I wasn't doing a great job reading, and Tate started saying 'Mama, Mama, Mama' in an effort to get my attention. My heart was full!!!
Later on, I had run to the bathroom, and as usual Tate wanted something from me. He ran in, grabbed my hand and pulled all the while saying 'Mama.'
Sweeter words were never spoken. 18 months and 26 days after his birth I heard the word I have waited my entire life for from my son.
Later on, I had run to the bathroom, and as usual Tate wanted something from me. He ran in, grabbed my hand and pulled all the while saying 'Mama.'
Sweeter words were never spoken. 18 months and 26 days after his birth I heard the word I have waited my entire life for from my son.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
What a week
In addition to all of his fun activities at school, his sign language has really taken off!! He signs coat, hat, thank you, brush teeth (which he even does now a bit...I do make him let me have a go at the toothies each time). He also says hat, said giraffe when I pointed to it. When I sneezed the other day he popped his pacifier out of his mouth and said 'bless you!' He has a little game called 'Peek-a-Boo Barn that he loves playing on my computer. He has the best new laugh; he loves to be tickled; loves his Music Together Sticks CD, LOVES cars and saying the word car. Just so many amazing and new things happening every day.
Tate and Me...our little family. Family. Immediate and extended. Our family here in Houston is small...just my parents, sisters and me. Everyone else is on the east coast. And this week my mother has joined her siblings on New York City as my uncle, her only brother, was dying. It was a quick onset. He complained of a swollen stomach about a month ago and moderate to severe pain. He was admitted to the hospital 2 weeks ago. Cancer has overtaken his body and he had 4-6 months to live. Three days later they gave him mere days to live. My mother had to get there from Houston. He held on for his sweet sister; his other 2 sisters were already with him (one lives in NYC, the other in Virginia). He passed last night surrounded by them at 12:12AM.
Tate and I will be unable to make it for the services. And therein lies the problem with being so far from your extended family. During time of crises AND happiness we can't be there. There will be no 'good-byes' for us here in Texas. Tate has minimal family here; my middle sister has one child (and a 16 year old stepson) and my youngest sister has no kids. As we've been separated like this for 35 years, extended family is not as important to me as it should be. I don't even think I would recognize half of my cousins on a busy street. What sad commentary. But that doesn't stop us from closing ranks when we need to. Everyone has rallied to help out as Uncle Jimmy had no children and no spouse. No matter how far apart we are, we're there when it's important. I pray Tate has some semblance of this type of family in his life as he grows up. That is one of my most fervent prayers for my son.
Monday, February 7, 2011
One of Those Days.
So today was one of THOSE days. Oh my!
Tate woke up at 430am and would not go back to sleep. But, this all started with his 1 hour and 20 minute nap yesterday of which the last 20 minutes were mere dozings. So, by last night at 640p I had a very overtired young man. Into the crib he went at 640p, and he tossed and turned and tossed and turned. At 704p he started screaming. I knew that meant he had 'lost' his lovey. I went upstairs and picked up his hippo off the floor and gave it to him. Those sweet little arms came up and around my neck, so I picked him up and rocked him to sleep like I used to. I miss that sweet warm body falling completely asleep in my arms. Into the crib he went at 717p...I knew immediately this did not bode well for a good night's sleep. I crawled into bed at 1034p. At 1107p Tate was up crying. I replaced his pacifier because I wanted to be asleep!!!! (I usually have him find the pacifier himself). He was then up at 231a, sitting up, looking lost trying to find his lovey and pacifier. I gave them to him and laid him back down. Then 434a he was up and crying yet again. I put him in bed with me, and he was all smiles and happiness. He dozed about 40 minutes then started climbing over my head, kicking me, tickling me ... the mommy jungle gym. I gave in at 604am.
We read books and played, then came downstairs for breakfast around 645. He happily played in the living room while I got his cheerios, banana, yogurt and milk organized. I came to get him to get in his high chair and all hell broke loose. He came readily enough to the highchair and climbed in. I turned around to get his plate and he started screaming. Hurriedly, I placed the plate of cheerios and banana on the tray. Nope. More screaming. I gave him his milk...he pushed it away. I put the yogurt on the tray...even more screaming. Kicking. Furious, and I have not a clue why. This went on for 10 minutes. I tried walking away; I tried sitting by him to encourage him. Finally took off the tray and got him down in my arms while he squirmed. I broke my own rule and gave him a pacifier and tried to hold him and sing to him. No dice for 10 more minutes. He finally calmed down. We read a couple of books, and I decided to try breakfast again. Into the highchair he went and he ate some yogurt, but again with the screaming and kicking. I offered puffs and yogurt melts. Well that was enough to start WW3 since I wouldn't let him have the containers. I was about to lose my mind. I must admit these were not my finest moments as I was just as frustrated because he cannot communicate with me. He will not use his signs at all though he knows them!! It's like he doesn't understand how. I swooped him up and stormed upstairs deciding he was going back to sleep. Popped in another pacifier and gave him his lovey. Sat down in the rocker with him and he was out in minutes at 8am. I held him as he slept for an hour. Breakfast followed and he was in a better mood.
The next 2 hours were better. He was testy and moody, and I was on pins and needles. Lunch was a disaster, so I put him down for a nap at noon. He only slept 45 minutes. When he woke up I tried to pat him down, hold him in the crib to no avail. I laid down with him...nothing. I was about to lose my mind because I knew he was going to be beside himself at our 3pm appointment with the ENT.
He was starving of course, so I shoveled some puffs and strawberries in him. Of course he was furious that I wouldn't let him have the container, so there were plenty of strawberries on the floor. We got out the door only 10 minutes behind schedule.
The appointment went well; we were also sent for a couple of x-rays where he also did well. The ride home was most unpleasant at 440p in Houston traffic. He cried every 10 minutes...nothing made him happy, not his music, not his lovey...nothing
Dinner went ok, though yet again he shoved his food off his tray when he was done. (sweet potatoes and quinoa all over my floor) However, dinner was prefaced with screaming for reasons unbeknownst to me. I looked at him and set his milk down with quite a bit of force on the counter asking 'what is it now' quite unpleasantly...more tears. Ugh.
He was in bed at 633p. I pray he can catch up on his sleep tonight. It's a vicious cycle, overtiredness. One of the many many things I try to protect him from.
These days make me wonder what the hell was I thinking doing this on my own, and thank goodness I'm too old to have another one though I am desperate for a sibling for him. My guilt over my frustration and anger with him knows no bounds. I always said I would not be a yeller, yet I have raised my voice or been more firm than I intended. He can see in my eyes when I'm angry; I can tell. I try to walk away and give myself a time out. These are the times I need to 'tag out' with someone. Someone to just give me a break...a real break. I cannot be all things at all times for this little guy and on days like this when we are alone together all day I have to be. And I love him so very much. And he gives the most amazing hugs and kisses these days!! And he did tonight, and I feel like such a failure and I promise to be more patient and I promise to not get frustrated. Until the next time. But writing it down and admitting is freeing. And I know I'm not the only parent, single or coupled, who gets to this point. Actually I don't know any parent who doesn't get to this point. But these points are just blips in the life of a child and a parent. Mere hiccups. Because as I look at him tonight I realize my frustration and anger come from wanting the best for him. And I know not sleeping will cause him pain, yet I can't convey that to him, so he's hurting. And I can't make the hurt stop if he won't sleep. Love. In its many forms.
Tate woke up at 430am and would not go back to sleep. But, this all started with his 1 hour and 20 minute nap yesterday of which the last 20 minutes were mere dozings. So, by last night at 640p I had a very overtired young man. Into the crib he went at 640p, and he tossed and turned and tossed and turned. At 704p he started screaming. I knew that meant he had 'lost' his lovey. I went upstairs and picked up his hippo off the floor and gave it to him. Those sweet little arms came up and around my neck, so I picked him up and rocked him to sleep like I used to. I miss that sweet warm body falling completely asleep in my arms. Into the crib he went at 717p...I knew immediately this did not bode well for a good night's sleep. I crawled into bed at 1034p. At 1107p Tate was up crying. I replaced his pacifier because I wanted to be asleep!!!! (I usually have him find the pacifier himself). He was then up at 231a, sitting up, looking lost trying to find his lovey and pacifier. I gave them to him and laid him back down. Then 434a he was up and crying yet again. I put him in bed with me, and he was all smiles and happiness. He dozed about 40 minutes then started climbing over my head, kicking me, tickling me ... the mommy jungle gym. I gave in at 604am.
We read books and played, then came downstairs for breakfast around 645. He happily played in the living room while I got his cheerios, banana, yogurt and milk organized. I came to get him to get in his high chair and all hell broke loose. He came readily enough to the highchair and climbed in. I turned around to get his plate and he started screaming. Hurriedly, I placed the plate of cheerios and banana on the tray. Nope. More screaming. I gave him his milk...he pushed it away. I put the yogurt on the tray...even more screaming. Kicking. Furious, and I have not a clue why. This went on for 10 minutes. I tried walking away; I tried sitting by him to encourage him. Finally took off the tray and got him down in my arms while he squirmed. I broke my own rule and gave him a pacifier and tried to hold him and sing to him. No dice for 10 more minutes. He finally calmed down. We read a couple of books, and I decided to try breakfast again. Into the highchair he went and he ate some yogurt, but again with the screaming and kicking. I offered puffs and yogurt melts. Well that was enough to start WW3 since I wouldn't let him have the containers. I was about to lose my mind. I must admit these were not my finest moments as I was just as frustrated because he cannot communicate with me. He will not use his signs at all though he knows them!! It's like he doesn't understand how. I swooped him up and stormed upstairs deciding he was going back to sleep. Popped in another pacifier and gave him his lovey. Sat down in the rocker with him and he was out in minutes at 8am. I held him as he slept for an hour. Breakfast followed and he was in a better mood.
The next 2 hours were better. He was testy and moody, and I was on pins and needles. Lunch was a disaster, so I put him down for a nap at noon. He only slept 45 minutes. When he woke up I tried to pat him down, hold him in the crib to no avail. I laid down with him...nothing. I was about to lose my mind because I knew he was going to be beside himself at our 3pm appointment with the ENT.
He was starving of course, so I shoveled some puffs and strawberries in him. Of course he was furious that I wouldn't let him have the container, so there were plenty of strawberries on the floor. We got out the door only 10 minutes behind schedule.
The appointment went well; we were also sent for a couple of x-rays where he also did well. The ride home was most unpleasant at 440p in Houston traffic. He cried every 10 minutes...nothing made him happy, not his music, not his lovey...nothing
Dinner went ok, though yet again he shoved his food off his tray when he was done. (sweet potatoes and quinoa all over my floor) However, dinner was prefaced with screaming for reasons unbeknownst to me. I looked at him and set his milk down with quite a bit of force on the counter asking 'what is it now' quite unpleasantly...more tears. Ugh.
He was in bed at 633p. I pray he can catch up on his sleep tonight. It's a vicious cycle, overtiredness. One of the many many things I try to protect him from.
These days make me wonder what the hell was I thinking doing this on my own, and thank goodness I'm too old to have another one though I am desperate for a sibling for him. My guilt over my frustration and anger with him knows no bounds. I always said I would not be a yeller, yet I have raised my voice or been more firm than I intended. He can see in my eyes when I'm angry; I can tell. I try to walk away and give myself a time out. These are the times I need to 'tag out' with someone. Someone to just give me a break...a real break. I cannot be all things at all times for this little guy and on days like this when we are alone together all day I have to be. And I love him so very much. And he gives the most amazing hugs and kisses these days!! And he did tonight, and I feel like such a failure and I promise to be more patient and I promise to not get frustrated. Until the next time. But writing it down and admitting is freeing. And I know I'm not the only parent, single or coupled, who gets to this point. Actually I don't know any parent who doesn't get to this point. But these points are just blips in the life of a child and a parent. Mere hiccups. Because as I look at him tonight I realize my frustration and anger come from wanting the best for him. And I know not sleeping will cause him pain, yet I can't convey that to him, so he's hurting. And I can't make the hurt stop if he won't sleep. Love. In its many forms.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Blessings in the midst of angst
In the middle of the night when my baby is sick, feverish and so sad I am so aware of my singleness.
Last night when we got home from work/daycare, Tate was not happy about dinner. He just pushed his food around and was disinterested. I finally thought to touch his forehead and the little guy was soooo warm. I swooped him up, and we went upstairs to take his temperature and get on into bed. He had a fever of 100.3. Thankfully he loves, and I mean loves, to take medicine...any kind. (he will even take his Singular granules simply mixed with water if it's in a syringe! Blech!) Got some Ibuprofen in him, brushed teeth, squigeed his poor little nose, bathed him and into bed he went. At 3:47am I heard him let out a long sigh and a little moan. He had a fever of 101.9...more Ibuprofen and into bed with Mommy he went. But apparently all he needed was a little hug from his mommy. He was up and down for the next hour...ugh. I know he didn't feel well, so that was part of it. But also that time of early morning is so hard for him. Even as a newborn that 4am feeding was tough. After he would nurse he had such a hard time going back to sleep. He has truly not outgrown that.
Luckily, our office had not scheduled patients for this morning. Tate still had a fever of 100.5 around 730am. He wasn't very hungry, but he was a trooper. He played very well by himself for 30 minutes while I picked up and did some things around here. Once our housekeeper arrived he was busy showing her all of his stuffed animals. (he is so outgoing it amazes me). Lunch was a no go as well, but he went down for his nap with no fussing. He was warm most of the morning, slightly lethargic and just wanted to be held quite a bit.
Unfortunately I had to work this afternoon. There was noone to cover for me. And a perfect storm of impossible situations occurred. We are expecting snow, sleet and ice in Houston. (it was anticipated to begin during rush hour...5pm) My mom had to be home tonight in preparation for tomorrow as she has a colonoscopy scheduled for Saturday at 630am. This requires a person to drink some hideous solution and utilize the facilities on a very regular basis the day before. I did not want my mother driving in home in what could have been treacherous driving conditions, so she was out. My dad has a long term substituting job at the moment. Most of my friends work, and those who don't and have kids...well they didn't need my sick kid around their child(ren). I am so lucky that my sister's company heeded the warnings and told their employees to leave at 2pm (they have done this many times in the past, so once we knew the airports were closing as were most school I knew there was a good chance Lindsey would get off early, yet we didn't know how early, and I had to be at work at 130pm). I called 2 other dear friends who both agreed to rearrange their schedules if need be to help watch Tate, even taking turns as needed in between meetings and picking up their own kids. I took Tate up to work with me, and the lovely ladies at the office took turns entertaining my sick baby while I was seeing patients. Tate was soooo good. It was so obvious he felt so bad, yet he didn't cry when I would go off leaving him with people he had never met before. Lindsey arrived about an hour later and took him home. She is so amazing with him, and we are so very blessed to have her live so close to us. She is a huge part of Tate's life, and I don't know what I would do without her. She has been there for us more times than I can count; she is almost his other mother. For that I will be eternally grateful.
So tonight, my little guy sleeps the sleep of the not so well. At bathtime his fever was 101.2 and his little body was so hot. Heat just emanated off of him. He just curled up and wanted to be held as I took each item of clothing off in preparation for his bath. After his bath he was much cooler and in much better spirits though. He laid down and drifted right off to sleep after lullabies and books. We shall see what the dark, cold, hopefully snowy night brings.
As cliche as it, it does indeed take a village to raise a child. How anyone does this without family and friend support as a choice mom is beyond me. I garner so much strength and comfort from these wonderful people in my life. It's those connections that get me through the long, sometimes very scary nights alone with Tate. Because believe me, when your baby is sick, burning up with fever and not feeling well and it's 3:47 it's scary. At that point it's hard to imagine he will ever be ok or that anything you are doing can possibly be right. You just want him to feel better. 3:47 in the morning does not lend itself to making you feel like a competent mother. You are alone and the person you love most is looking to you to make him feel better or at least explain why he just hurts. Those are the moments you sit back in your rocking chair, your baby in your arms, and allow the love of friends, family and God to envelope you in an invisible hug and bring you hope. The sun will rise soon; it always does.
Last night when we got home from work/daycare, Tate was not happy about dinner. He just pushed his food around and was disinterested. I finally thought to touch his forehead and the little guy was soooo warm. I swooped him up, and we went upstairs to take his temperature and get on into bed. He had a fever of 100.3. Thankfully he loves, and I mean loves, to take medicine...any kind. (he will even take his Singular granules simply mixed with water if it's in a syringe! Blech!) Got some Ibuprofen in him, brushed teeth, squigeed his poor little nose, bathed him and into bed he went. At 3:47am I heard him let out a long sigh and a little moan. He had a fever of 101.9...more Ibuprofen and into bed with Mommy he went. But apparently all he needed was a little hug from his mommy. He was up and down for the next hour...ugh. I know he didn't feel well, so that was part of it. But also that time of early morning is so hard for him. Even as a newborn that 4am feeding was tough. After he would nurse he had such a hard time going back to sleep. He has truly not outgrown that.
Luckily, our office had not scheduled patients for this morning. Tate still had a fever of 100.5 around 730am. He wasn't very hungry, but he was a trooper. He played very well by himself for 30 minutes while I picked up and did some things around here. Once our housekeeper arrived he was busy showing her all of his stuffed animals. (he is so outgoing it amazes me). Lunch was a no go as well, but he went down for his nap with no fussing. He was warm most of the morning, slightly lethargic and just wanted to be held quite a bit.
Unfortunately I had to work this afternoon. There was noone to cover for me. And a perfect storm of impossible situations occurred. We are expecting snow, sleet and ice in Houston. (it was anticipated to begin during rush hour...5pm) My mom had to be home tonight in preparation for tomorrow as she has a colonoscopy scheduled for Saturday at 630am. This requires a person to drink some hideous solution and utilize the facilities on a very regular basis the day before. I did not want my mother driving in home in what could have been treacherous driving conditions, so she was out. My dad has a long term substituting job at the moment. Most of my friends work, and those who don't and have kids...well they didn't need my sick kid around their child(ren). I am so lucky that my sister's company heeded the warnings and told their employees to leave at 2pm (they have done this many times in the past, so once we knew the airports were closing as were most school I knew there was a good chance Lindsey would get off early, yet we didn't know how early, and I had to be at work at 130pm). I called 2 other dear friends who both agreed to rearrange their schedules if need be to help watch Tate, even taking turns as needed in between meetings and picking up their own kids. I took Tate up to work with me, and the lovely ladies at the office took turns entertaining my sick baby while I was seeing patients. Tate was soooo good. It was so obvious he felt so bad, yet he didn't cry when I would go off leaving him with people he had never met before. Lindsey arrived about an hour later and took him home. She is so amazing with him, and we are so very blessed to have her live so close to us. She is a huge part of Tate's life, and I don't know what I would do without her. She has been there for us more times than I can count; she is almost his other mother. For that I will be eternally grateful.
So tonight, my little guy sleeps the sleep of the not so well. At bathtime his fever was 101.2 and his little body was so hot. Heat just emanated off of him. He just curled up and wanted to be held as I took each item of clothing off in preparation for his bath. After his bath he was much cooler and in much better spirits though. He laid down and drifted right off to sleep after lullabies and books. We shall see what the dark, cold, hopefully snowy night brings.
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| Tate napping this afternoon |
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