The Waiting Is Almost Over!

This is it!!  This is the month!!  School acceptances and lottery 'winnings' are decided this month.  One school has emailed prospective students' parents to say admission decision letters go out this Friday; anohter has posted on its site that letters go out March 2014.  The lottery for public school is March 28th.  So this is it!  The moment(s) I've been waiting for.  

Trying to keep busy, busy, busy which isn't too hard as work is super busy with spring break this week and next.  We had a low key, Tate and Mommy weekend this past weekend which was really nice after the craziness of our Friday at the doctor.

Some weekend highlights...

Last Saturday of Winter 2014 soccer...

We found an awesome new playground that one of the moms in our soccer class told me about!  The train is brand new!!!!  Guess who was in heaven?!  We were there about an hour.  We went by ourselves, but there were tons of kids there.  It's interesting (and hard) to watch your child play with other kids neither of you knows.  The older kids want to make fun of the little kids; at one point I thought it was really getting out of hand as about 4-5 7 and 8 year old girls were surrounding Tate and sticking their tongues out at him making that spitting sound.  I let him work it out at first and when I saw no change I did step in and remove him from the situation.  I reminded him that sticking out tongues and spitting is very rude and that when people are doing that they are being mean.  I then reminded him of what we do when people are rude and mean...we walk away and find someone else to play with.  Luckily he seemed not the least bit fazed, more surprised than anything.  All was good and he had an absolute blast!

So very happy!

Isn't this so very cool?

And then he figured out how to climb on top!

We came home and just hung out...so fabulous.

We skipped church on Sunday after the time change!  Ugh...I hate springing forward.  Tate woke up at 6:29am (the old 5:29am) and I was just exhausted.  I let him watch his precious trains and he was happy as a clam.  He's now watching videos that are mostly 'how steam engines work' or 'how diesel engines work' or ones that compare different types of toy trains and how they're made.  And he's happy as a clam, and I'm happy he's not just watching mindless crap.  

In any event, I slept until 8:30!!!  Ok slept off and on, but I got some really good zzzzzs.  So very happy.  We had a leisurely breakfast and made our way to the grocery store.

Later that day it was back to the park.  Yep! The park from the day before!!  Sunday it was a good 15 degrees cooler!  It had rained all night, so we practically had the place to ourselves.  There were two other little kids just about Tate's age and they had a great time chasing one another and playing...this is my idea of fun for 4 and 5 year olds!

Now tell me who wouldn't want this adorable little guy at their school!??  Whatever school WE choose will be lucky to have my sweet Tate!!!

More Allergy Testing...Did He Pass?????

About a month ago I took Tate in for allergy testing with the commercially prepared antigens of eggs, nuts and oranges.  He responded greatly to the nut panel, but not at all to the egg and orange panel!  I was so excited.  Though actually he didn't respond to the orange panel a year ago, but did respond to the natural orange being injected.  We returned today to do the scratch test with natural egg and natural orange. I had very high hopes that all would be clear.

I would be very wrong. 

He was actually non-responsive to the prick with the natural orange.

He got a huge welt, redness and smaller bumps in the vicinity with the egg.  In fact, I got a bit of egg on my hand as I was holding him and where the egg actually touched his shoulder he broke out in redness.  

He was such a trooper too.  Last night I told him we were going to see his allergist today (Friday).  I told him they were going to put the tingles on his back again, but just 4 this time.  (last time there were about 20)  He told me very sweetly "I'm not going to cry when they do the tingles this time."  I told him it was ok to cry and reminded him that he didn't start crying last time until they had done about 9 or 10 of them, so I was very impressed.  

Today was much harder though, poor baby.  I had to bring a plain scrambled egg and an orange.  He was in a fabulous mood when we got there.  He was weighed (37.2 pounds...down a 1/2 pound from a month ago) and gowned up :).  He loved the gown with dalmatians and fire trucks all over it.  Today's nurse was absolutely fantastic!  We loved her.  She engaged Tate in conversation, and he just walked over to her and chatted her up, hands on her legs and touching her arm.  I love this boy!  He had to do a flowmeter test which was hilarious watching him try to figure out how to do it....how to take a big breath then blow quickly.  He did finally get it though.  Apparently, they have to be sure their lungs are not only clear but full and not constricted in case of an anaphylactic reaction.  In addition, Tate has just become congested in the past 24 hours, so this was worrisome when it came to his breathing for a food challenge.  But he passed the flow meter test, so I opted to move forward.  

Fantastic nurse (I know her name, but I'm not going to use it here) cleaned his back and drew the lines which had him giggling.  Then it was time to put the egg under his skin.  She had to place a bit of the scrambled egg on his back and then push the needle through the egg making sure to get the egg under his skin.  He immediately started crying.  I felt so bad for him.  The orange was a bit easier because it was the juice from the orange, so it went in really easily.  Then the control and histamine.  A couple of minutes of tears, lots of hugs and we were good.  Fantastic nurse brought us in a portable heater (did I say how much I LOVE her!!) and we were good to go.  We had a 20 minute wait.  Almost immediately he reacted to the egg.  He was splotchy red and itching.  However as I said he didn't react to the orange at all.  

Before the tingles... 

After the tingles...sweet boy

Still smiling though...love him! 

This is about 3 minutes after the pricks.  You can see
the welt from the egg and the surrounding redness.  The
orange stick is red as well, but no welt.  Some redness is
expected, but the amount around the egg prick is
expanding quickly.

So no egg food challenge for us today.  Doc said we can come back if/when we want to let him try baked goods, ie a food made with eggs in it to see if he responds to that.  67-70% of people who are allergic to eggs can ingest food made with eggs.  He doesn't want him to have any without a food challenge first because of the severity of his reaction at 13 months old.  At that point he had never had a food made with egg, so we don't know how he will tolerate it.  In addition his back was pretty inflamed from just a pinch of egg today and it also got irritated with egg just on his skin...not good signs.

So then Doc and I discussed doing a food challenge with an orange.  He pretty much left it up to me.  I figured what the heck...let's do it.  He said he'd never done a food challenge with oranges before because Tate is the first person he's ever known with an orange allergy, which I knew.  This is a very rare allergy.  However, he was really concerned about doing this because Tate's reaction to the orange at 16 months old was so severe, landing him in the ER with him getting a shot of epinephrine.  We soldiered on.  Fantastic nurse brought us back our orange, and I convinced Tate to eat an entire slice.  

Then we had to wait an hour.  We had already been there 90 minutes.

We played with the blocks they had in the room which surprised me because Tate has never ever shown any interest in building anything with blocks in my presence.  He played with his two trains I brought with me, I read him a couple of stories and I let him watch trains on my phones.   I read on my kindle.  

Oh and I scratched his back a lot where the egg had been injected because he was so itchy.  And they had already swabbed him down with a cortisone cream.

An hour later and we had no response.  His skin was clear, he never vomited, he never complained about breathing problems.

He can have oranges!!!!!

However, I don't anticipate I'll allow him to have an orange outside my presence for a few years to come :).  I don't know that I'll ever be comfortable with him having any of these foods without me around if/when he tests negative for the eggs and peanuts.  I have no idea how to let go of the worry that someday the allergy might come back.  Food allergies are so different and new now it seems...I just don't know that I trust these results.  I mean I trust them, but oh goodness I can't imagine being able to send my 6 year old to school with an orange.  I don't see it happening.  How do I get past the fear?

We made our customary after the allergy testing doctor visit to get a new train.  He came home with Diesel 199.  Don't ask.  He ate lunch on the run in the car as we sped off to my hair appointment.  I decided to keep him with me all day, so I could keep an eye on him just in case.  He was fantastic there too and we were there for 2 hours....I had my hair colored, conditioned and cut.  FINALLY!  I let him watch his Extreme Trains documentaries and 2 episodes of Little Einsteins.  He was happily in heaven.

Don't drop Mommy's computer!
And note the new train keeping him company!

We came home and I took a cat nap while he played at my feet for about 30 minutes.  We read a couple of books then headed to his favorite restaurant...The French Fry Place.  We headed off to the playground after that for about 30 minutes and ran into a little boy from his Saturday soccer class whose mom I really like.  So that was awesome!!!!!  They played with his dad while she and I chatted.  I really like her...I hope we become better friends.  Tate had a blast with M.

Then it was home, bath, stories, benadryl (for his cough and congestion and yes in case the orange makes some strange comeback), toothbrushing and then he was sound asleep by 7:40.  

I love this boy.

Dinner tonight!

Walking in Memphis

I'm enjoying a little peace and quiet in my hotel room here in Memphis.  I'm flying out tomorrow morning at 6:15am to head back to Houston.  (Everyone else is on a noon flight.)  The trip has thankfully not been as hard as I thought.  I've been able to relax a bit and try to enjoy myself.  I stayed awake for most of the lectures :) and I've done the social thing :).  I'm all around pretty pleased with how things went.

Thursday evening when we arrived we were picked up by a driver for our drive into the city.  He was an endearing older gentleman who is very proud of his city and hometown.  (His wife was along for the ride as well!)  He gave us a brief history of the city as he drove us into downtown Memphis.  Just before he dropped us off at our hotel he drove us by the National Civil Rights Museum.  As we drove around the corner to reach the museum I looked up and saw this...

My heart just went still.  I realized immediately that I was looking at the place where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot and killed.  On my boarding pass earlier that day I had noticed that one of the places recommended to visit in Memphis was the National Civil Rights Museum, and I was a bit intrigued, but I gave it no thought.  I simply didn't know that this place, this holy place (for me) was the grounds for the National Civil Rights Museum.  I asked Roy, our driver, if we could stop so I could get out.  I walked as close as I could get to stand below Rm 306 where Dr. King had stayed that early April 1968.

 I cannot express my emotions as I stood there in that chilly Memphis night looking up at that balcony.  The picture we've all seen of Dr. King's prone body on the ground with the men kneeling and standing beside his body is one that is ingrained in my mind.  I can see them all pointing towards where the bullet that struck down Dr. King came from.  It was almost as if I was there that April 4th.

As everyone else was waiting for me, I made my way back to the van and we headed on to the hotel.  We got checked in and had dinner in the hotel dining room.  We were all starving and exhausted.

I slept like a baby!  I usually wake up at 530 even when Tate stays at my parents' house, but not this time!  I slept until 630 and snoozed until 7!

We attended the lecture for the morning session, ate lunch then we headed off to the National Civil Rights Museum.  Unfortunately, we were unable to go into the hotel (which has not been open to the public since 1982) as it's under renovation, but we were able to go into the boarding house from where James Earl Ray is said to have shot that fatal bullet.  It was a sobering place to enter.  The bathroom from where he is believed to have shot from has not been altered since that day.  Much of the evidence found in the boarding house as well as in the area has been kept and is on display, including Dr. King's autopsy report and the slug that was removed from his body.  

Arriving in Memphis in late March 1968. 

The room James Earl Ray stayed in.

 Here is the view James Earl Ray had of the Lorraine Motel from the bathroom...

The bathroom.

Unchanged.

I've zoomed in on the view.

I left the museum almost in tears;  there were many videos about the entire civil rights movement starting with the first African slaves being brought to the states to footage of Emmit Till's murder, footage of the murders of James Chaney, Michael Schwerner and Andrew Goodman to Nelson Mandela's fight against Apartheid in South Africa.  

I will definitely be returning here with Tate.  I'd love for my dad to join us as well as my mother.  One point that I've definitely taken to heart was one commentator saying that those times of the Civil Rights Movement was not fun, it was not people holding hands, singing songs fighting for a cause.  It was downright scary, horrific, brutal and inhumane.  It is unfathomable what one human can do to another.  And Tate needs to know of whence he came.

I made my way across the street to see the place where Dr. King was killed in the daylight.  I will never be the same.

Of note as well is that I met Jacqueline Smith on my way to the museum.  I had googled the museum the night before and her name came up.  She was a housekeeper at the motel since 1973 and when the motel was finally closed in 1982 she refused to leave and had to be forcibly removed.  For the past 26 years she has kept vigil outside the motel in protest of the museum, as she feels the motel should be kept as low income housing for the poor in honor of Dr. King's work.  (that's a very quick synopsis)  Anyway, as I walked up to the motel I saw a woman sitting at a table.  I asked her if she knew Jacqueline Smith.  Imagine my surprise when she said she was Jacqueline Smith.  We chatted briefly and I was impressed with her passion and conviction.   

History.  My history.  

For this experience alone I'm more than glad I came to Memphis.

We took the trolley back to The Peabody Hotel to have a drink and rest.  We sat in the lobby and relaxed all while waiting for the apparently all exciting March of the Ducks.  I had never heard of this, nor had I heard of the hotel, but it's a huge deal, so we hung out and watched. :)

Sleepy duck!

We headed back to our hotel via Beale Street...

Everyone got changed and we meandered off to dinner at Spindini...yummy!

We came home with full bellies and slept well.  Yep again I slept like a baby!!!

Another morning and early afternoon of lecture, then we headed out to enjoy a lovely afternoon drink on Beale Street while enjoying some live music.  While at some random bar we were treated to some young men doing acrobatics on Beale Street...

After a couple of drinks we headed off for some fantastic bar-b-q.  It was a lovely lovely evening.  Everyone else stayed downstairs to have one more drink in the hotel bar, but I opted to come upstairs and get packed for my trip home to my sweet boy tomorrow!

My sweet boy who has apparently had a great time with Grandmommy, Papa and Aunt Lindsey!

Grandmommy and Papa saved Aunt Lindsey from being kicked last night since Papa slept with Tate.  This morning Aunt Lindsey apparently had a fantastic 6 mile run.  Grandmommy and Papa took Tate to soccer then met Lindsey for lunch at Tate's favorite place. They even sent me pics of the happy boy!

Then Grandmommy and Papa were off to ride the zoo train with my little guy who was thrilled!  He told them he wanted to buy me a present....sooooo sweet.

And promptly opened it when he got home...

It's the thought that counts isn't it?

Three Sleeps

I'm writing this from my hotel room in Memphis, Tennessee.  The Westin Hotel right around the corner from Beale Street.  I arrived here last night for a 2 day continuing education class.

Without Tate.

I'm on my first trip without Tate.

My first time to leave the state without Tate.

My first time to be more than 28 miles away from Tate.

I spent the last week incredibly stressed, worried, scared, heartbroken, excited and ambivalent.

My fantastic sister Lindsey picked him up from daycare yesterday and stayed with him at our house.  My parents came to the house this morning to take him to swim lessons then back to daycare.  The plan was for Lindsey to pick him up from daycare and spend the night at my place with him again tonight with my parents arriving tomorrow morning in time for her to go running in the am and get him off to his 11:15 soccer class then spend the day with him and night at my place.

However, Lindsey had a horrible time sleeping with Tate last night (apparently, he's a bit of a kicker!), so my parents came over this evening, and my dad is sleeping with him tonight :).  Isn't my dad absolutely awesome???  Lindsey and my mom are sleeping downstairs in Tate's room.  I love my family...they are just so amazing.  I know it would have been easier if Tate was sleeping in his own room, so I'm definitely going to have to help him make this transition to his own bed.

So, yesterday I worked until noon, then ran home to do a few last minute things.  My house was covered with little notes and instructions for everyone :)...my anal retentiveness and need for control reach across state lines.  But I can say I do all that to try to make is so much easier for everyone.

After last minute packing and a quick run to the drug store I stopped by Tate's school to say good-bye.  He was sound asleep!  My kid who never naps at school was out!!!  (This did not bode well for an easy night for Aunt Lindsey with him!).  I gently woke him up with hugs and cuddles.  I gave him the chocolate covered pretzel I had from Valentine's Day and we hung out in the hallway.  I got a hug and a kiss and I walked out to my car and drove to the airport.

I had thought I would cry, but I held it together.  I also don't think Tate really realized what was happening or how long he would be without me.  I had told him I would be gone for three sleeps and that he was going to have tons of fun with his Aunt Lindsey and grandparents.  He seemed ok with it.  That's the reason I wanted him to stay at his own house and be in his normal routine.  It was important to me that as much as possible stayed 'normal'. I think that's the biggest 'problem' for kids of single parents; when that single parent leaves they often not only have their only parent gone, but they also have to leave their routine by staying with someone else.  Who knows?  He probably would have been fine staying at my parents', but I thought this would be easier.

For both of us.

I face-timed with him yesterday evening and he seemed happy to talk to me.  I spoke with his teacher today and he was a bit weepy at naptime apparently, and they were worried it was because I was gone, so they tried to help him through it a bit.  So I didn't talk to him today worried it would only upset him.

I am doing ok.  I 110% did not want to come on this trip.  For obvious reasons, of course;  I didn't want to be this far from Tate.

Also, I didn't want to come because I basically came because all the other docs in the practice were coming and I didn't want to feel any more left out than I already do.  I felt like I 'had' to come, if that makes sense.  Part of me also thought if I left Tate for the first time to do something I wasn't all that thrilled about that I wouldn't feel so bad.  Because I feel like if I had left to do something 'fun' that I would feel bad for having a good time....isn't that the most warped thinking EVER?

So, I'm here in Memphis.  It hasn't been all that bad though.  I miss his little face, his hugs, his smiles and just him.  But it is nice to be able to sleep in a bed all by myself.  It's nice to have the television on in a hotel room :).  I'm watching 'The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon' and loving it!! JT is on!!!!!!

I've had a better time that I anticipated which is really nice.  I don't have alot in common with my friends who I'm here with...none of them have kids, two are just barely 30, the other 4 are my age or a bit older.  They all go out to eat to hip and trendy restaurants, are partnered/coupled, watch adult television.  The younger ones are living the life I lived at their age, and I hope they LOVE it like I did.  The older ones are just continuing to live the life I lived.  I don't consider myself the mom who only wants mom friends because I don't want that.  I strive to make sure I have fun without my child and enjoy my life as a daughter, friend and sister.  I try so hard not be be defined as being a mom only because I realize that in just a few short years, and I mean like 3-4 years!, Tate will be pulling away from me to enjoy his life as his own person.  I don't want to be home wondering where all my friends are.  I don't want to be lonely because I didn't foster these relationships that were so important to me before he was born.  I don't want to have my empty nest, because I truly believe the empty nest can start when your child is 7 or 8.  I love these awesome women and men who add so much love, joy and happiness to my life.  

Just like my sweet boy.  He adds so much joy, love and happiness to my life!!  

Two more sleeps!!  Two more sleeps!!

Lindsey texted me this picture this evening.  Apparently the kids made gold
medals today in school in honor of the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics.
I cannot wait to see this boy in TWO SLEEPS!!!