So, when did how long it took your infant to sleep through the night become the measurement of a good parent? I mean really. If one more person tells me their 3 week old was STTN at that age with that smug look I'm going to lose it. And they are not referring to the 'experts' definition of STTN of 5-6 hours. Oh no no no they mean 9-12 hours. Granted I don't often hear about 3 week olds sleeping like that, but I hear plenty of people asserting that their 3 and 4 month olds were/are.
So, let me mention when Tate started sleeping 10-11 hours straight. Ok, so just 10. 16 months. Yes 16 months of age. Oh we had some nights of success scattered throughout his first 16 months, but nothing consistent. And honestly, I didn't really mind it. Oh I did my fair share of complaining, but the lack of night sleep was not my concern. I spent the majority of those first 16 months beside myself because he was such an atrocious napper. Horrible napper. A dream napper at daycare, just impossible at home. I laid down with that child for more naps than I can remember which is probably why the lack of night sleep never bothered me.
Now, he stopped waking to eat around 10 months of age. Yet he would wake/stir/fuss anywhere between 9-10pm and then wake again in the middle of the night, and I routinely just brought him into bed with me. I loved having him that close. I was always of the mindset that we spent so little of the waking day together that our cuddles at night brought us together. I recall many a night when he was a tiny thing nursing in the middle of the night, when I would lay my head back and stroke his soft head and think to myself...how many other mothers are there out there tonight with their sweet babies doing this exact same thing? Somewhere in the heat of Africa, the cold of Iceland, the warmth of the desert and the cool of the beach mothers are walking the floors with their babes, coaxing babies back to sleep, nursing their newborns and simply enjoying the amazement of motherhood just like I am. That feeling of solidarity that only new mothers can experience got me through many a long feeding session.
I considered CIO for about 5 minutes. I did a half-hearted attempt at pick-up/put down around 7 months of age. And I realized it just wasn't for me. Oddly enough Tate's crying at nighttime just broke my heart. He just wanted me. He wanted some comfort from his mother. This small creature who spent 9 months wrapped in my womb wanted my presence. If that was what he needed I decided I would do it. I spent 41 years waiting for him to come into my life. What were a few nights in the grand scheme of my life? I rocked him to sleep almost every single night for about 14 months. And it wasn't so much that he needed it, but that I needed it. How many nights will one get to hold their child as they fall asleep in the course of 18 years? Not all that many. I wasn't going to let one pass me by!
Then one night at 14 months I laid him down when he was still pretty awake. And guess what? He put himself to sleep with nary a sound. Nothing. For the first couple of months he still woke up and ended up in bed with me. I continued to lay him down a little bit awake and at 16 months he just started sleeping all the way through. We still have our moments. In fact this past week or so he's been waking between 2 and 3 am sitting up wanting one of the 10 pacifiers in his crib. I know I should let him find it himself, but I get up and give it to him, lay him back down, so I can get back to sleep sooner...that's laziness on my part. But I know he can do it, so I've let it slide.
I guess I just don't get why we as adults feel the need to force these little infants to adjust their needs and desires to ours. We've made the decision to bring them into this world; did we not know it was going to be a bit of a sacrifice? Did we not realize we were going to be tired? That it could be really hard? Because I simply don't agree that we are teaching them how to soothe themselves. We are soothing ourselves. What 3 month old needs to learn how to soothe himself? And believe me I know exhausted. I know tired. I pumped every 3 hours all day and night for 6 months...yes even after his 1am and 4am feeds while working fulltime. I just couldn't do it anymore after 6 months and made the 10pm pump my last one. And I'm certainly not saying my way would work for everyone or that what I did makes me a better mother. But I just feel in my heart of hearts that given a chance many of these babies left to cry would figure it out on their own given the chance when they were a tiny bit older. As well as knowing that some of these that sleep 10 hours at 4 months simply did so of their own accord.
But none of it, none of it makes any of us better than the other. Choose something else to be proud of...this ain't it.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
A Weekend
Another weekend has passed for Tate and me. This was a great one. We spent the entire weekend together just the two of us which is oddly enough rare. I'm off almost every Friday and have taken to taking him to daycare at 11am just in time for lunch and picking him up at 2:15 right when he wakes up. I get a massage on many of these Fridays, it's when I get my hair colored or relaxed and when I schedule doctor's appointments and the like. Rarely do I just come home and relax because otherwise I could just have him here and relax while he naps.
And each Friday I drop him off, I feel terrible. Like a lousy mother. How could I spend those 3 1/2 hours away from him when I see him so very little during the week. I remind myself he's only eating and sleeping, so really he's only spending one awake hour away from me. Sigh. Mommy guilt. When will we women stop beating ourselves up? More importantly when will we stop beating each other up?
Friday morning found us at Walgreens getting his passport photo taken, then off to the post office we went. Had all of our paperwork in hand unlike the unfortunate souls ahead of us in line. To the front went Tate and I. This is why you call ahead and make a nuisance of yourself all week, so you don't get to the USPS and become livid when it's very clear on the US State Department's website exactly what you need. Sigh. Easy peasy for Tate and me!! We then made a trip to my office since I was on call this weekend to see a patient and fix her expander. Poor Tate has been dragged up to my office more times than I can count whether it's because he's sick and waiting for Grandmommy or because I have to see a patient. He's pretty amenable to letting one of our lovely staff play with him while I work. After lunch and naptime we just hung out here and played.
Saturday morning found us at his Gymboree class. He's at the top of the age range now at 21 1/2 months for this group which is 16-22 months, and by far the oldest in the group, so we need to move up ASAP. He's all over the place and pretty independent once he gets into his groove, though he still loves to be held. I hear 'up' all the time. But the other kids are a little intimidated by him, so we need to move on.
Sadly, we had to go into the office AGAIN. A kid broke a tooth...ugh. This time it was just Tate and me, this kid and his mom. At 21 months, Tate cannot or shall I say will not entertain himself in a strange place with strange people. Suffice it to say it sucked. He's whining, the kid was whining and in pain. The kid's mom tried to entertain Tate, while comforting her own child. However, this is my life now. With no back-up at home and none coming soon, Tate will become a fixture at the office when I am called in. I know that once he's about 3 I will be able to reason with him and have him sit more quietly. Until then, these parents will just have to understand.
After naptime, we ventured to the Houston Premium Outlet Mall 26 miles outside the city. It was a gorgeous day yesterday and today actually. Perfect fall weather...nothing like our normal Houston May temperatures. Tate did fairly well, though he was cranky since he only ate pear slices and cottage cheese for lunch. I was not quick enough to get his snacks out and prepared. Patience...when will he learn patience? We skyped with our friends Silke and her daughter Annabelle when we got home. We'll be off to see them in NYC in less than 2 weeks!!
This morning we skyped with Christian when we woke up. What a lovely start to our day. It's hard for us to get it together to talk with the time difference. Tate recognized his voice immediately. As he's just talking up a storm, I had him say a variety of words for Christian, and then he just jabbered on on his own. It's hard to believe that just 3 weeks ago when Christian was here he was barely saying 10 words it seemed. Christian was a bit taken aback by how much has changed in less than a month. It's bittersweet for him I know. This is one of those times when this situation is hard. Being so far away and not involved, but loving Tate the way he does is heartwrenching for him.
Tate and I skipped church and went grocery shopping this morning. Then we spent a lovely hour at the park just playing on the equipment and kicking around a ball. Tate was in heaven and his laugh is one I could listen to 24/7.
After naptime we were visited by Aunt Lindsey and Aunt Tiffany briefly, then we headed out to the Mad Potter to make some pottery. There was a big construction truck outside the store. Well Tate was in heaven. I had to drag him away practically crying to go home. We played outside when we got home for a while, riding his bike, blowing bubbles and just having fun. A couple of meltdowns this evening led to an earlier than anticipated bedtime.
What a lovely weekend. Whenever I dreamed of being a mother, this is what I imagined it would be. Just hanging out, enjoying life and one another. Hearing his happy squeal and quick smile just make my day. I could hold him all day long every single day. One of my favorite things is when I'm just sitting on the living room floor amongst all his toys just watching him play or read to himself (a joy unto itself), and he runs up to me, throws those little arms around me and gives me the biggest hug ever. He burrows his little head into my right shoulder and all is perfect in my world. This is how it should be. This is what I waited my entire life for. Love, pure and simple. Not that I didn't have an abundance of love in my life before, for I did. I have an amazing family and an equally amazing group of friends. But this love, well it's indescribable. It's all encompassing. I thank God for allowing me to have this in my life. This is His greatest design. Love between mother and child...it takes my breath away.
And each Friday I drop him off, I feel terrible. Like a lousy mother. How could I spend those 3 1/2 hours away from him when I see him so very little during the week. I remind myself he's only eating and sleeping, so really he's only spending one awake hour away from me. Sigh. Mommy guilt. When will we women stop beating ourselves up? More importantly when will we stop beating each other up?
Friday morning found us at Walgreens getting his passport photo taken, then off to the post office we went. Had all of our paperwork in hand unlike the unfortunate souls ahead of us in line. To the front went Tate and I. This is why you call ahead and make a nuisance of yourself all week, so you don't get to the USPS and become livid when it's very clear on the US State Department's website exactly what you need. Sigh. Easy peasy for Tate and me!! We then made a trip to my office since I was on call this weekend to see a patient and fix her expander. Poor Tate has been dragged up to my office more times than I can count whether it's because he's sick and waiting for Grandmommy or because I have to see a patient. He's pretty amenable to letting one of our lovely staff play with him while I work. After lunch and naptime we just hung out here and played.
Saturday morning found us at his Gymboree class. He's at the top of the age range now at 21 1/2 months for this group which is 16-22 months, and by far the oldest in the group, so we need to move up ASAP. He's all over the place and pretty independent once he gets into his groove, though he still loves to be held. I hear 'up' all the time. But the other kids are a little intimidated by him, so we need to move on.
Sadly, we had to go into the office AGAIN. A kid broke a tooth...ugh. This time it was just Tate and me, this kid and his mom. At 21 months, Tate cannot or shall I say will not entertain himself in a strange place with strange people. Suffice it to say it sucked. He's whining, the kid was whining and in pain. The kid's mom tried to entertain Tate, while comforting her own child. However, this is my life now. With no back-up at home and none coming soon, Tate will become a fixture at the office when I am called in. I know that once he's about 3 I will be able to reason with him and have him sit more quietly. Until then, these parents will just have to understand.
After naptime, we ventured to the Houston Premium Outlet Mall 26 miles outside the city. It was a gorgeous day yesterday and today actually. Perfect fall weather...nothing like our normal Houston May temperatures. Tate did fairly well, though he was cranky since he only ate pear slices and cottage cheese for lunch. I was not quick enough to get his snacks out and prepared. Patience...when will he learn patience? We skyped with our friends Silke and her daughter Annabelle when we got home. We'll be off to see them in NYC in less than 2 weeks!!
This morning we skyped with Christian when we woke up. What a lovely start to our day. It's hard for us to get it together to talk with the time difference. Tate recognized his voice immediately. As he's just talking up a storm, I had him say a variety of words for Christian, and then he just jabbered on on his own. It's hard to believe that just 3 weeks ago when Christian was here he was barely saying 10 words it seemed. Christian was a bit taken aback by how much has changed in less than a month. It's bittersweet for him I know. This is one of those times when this situation is hard. Being so far away and not involved, but loving Tate the way he does is heartwrenching for him.
Tate and I skipped church and went grocery shopping this morning. Then we spent a lovely hour at the park just playing on the equipment and kicking around a ball. Tate was in heaven and his laugh is one I could listen to 24/7.
After naptime we were visited by Aunt Lindsey and Aunt Tiffany briefly, then we headed out to the Mad Potter to make some pottery. There was a big construction truck outside the store. Well Tate was in heaven. I had to drag him away practically crying to go home. We played outside when we got home for a while, riding his bike, blowing bubbles and just having fun. A couple of meltdowns this evening led to an earlier than anticipated bedtime.
What a lovely weekend. Whenever I dreamed of being a mother, this is what I imagined it would be. Just hanging out, enjoying life and one another. Hearing his happy squeal and quick smile just make my day. I could hold him all day long every single day. One of my favorite things is when I'm just sitting on the living room floor amongst all his toys just watching him play or read to himself (a joy unto itself), and he runs up to me, throws those little arms around me and gives me the biggest hug ever. He burrows his little head into my right shoulder and all is perfect in my world. This is how it should be. This is what I waited my entire life for. Love, pure and simple. Not that I didn't have an abundance of love in my life before, for I did. I have an amazing family and an equally amazing group of friends. But this love, well it's indescribable. It's all encompassing. I thank God for allowing me to have this in my life. This is His greatest design. Love between mother and child...it takes my breath away.
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| Christian sent these to me from Berlin today |
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Mother's Day 2011
My third Mother's Day has passed. And I most certainly considered myself as being a mother when I was pregnant that first Mother's Day. Honestly, that first one is the one that means the most to me. I was carrying in my precious boy close to my heart and soul and he was of my body. We have never been as close since. I will treasure those 9 months of us sharing my body, heart and life. How amazing is it to be a woman?
Tate Christopher is making strides in leaps and bounds these days. I am so very lucky to be his mommy and be witness to his life. His joy and exuberance are a sight to behold. Where I once was so worried he wasn't talking enough, I am now amazed that I can say a 'new' word to him and he will most often repeat it and look astonished that he was able to do it. It's like he's rolling the new words around in his cute little mouth as he articulates them.
So in the past 2 months what has he become able to say? In no particular order....
Tate! He loves loves loves to say his name and looks for every opportunity to find his picture and point and say 'Tate'. This is new in the past week.
fish
pig
horse
neigh
Kayla and Korey (his cousins we are going to see in 2 weeks in NYC)
apple
help (when he has his meltdowns because he can't do something I'm always telling him 'just say mom
help please' He finally figured this out!!!)
grndada (that's how it sounds!)
mommy for grandmommy
mama for me
Yin-sey for Aunt Lindsey
airplane
truck
bus
light
two
three (but no counting!)
mum mum
please (he's been doing the sign for months and always does it at the appropriate time)
Amen (this is the sweetest thing ever...last Friday as he ate his snack at home, he put his hands in prayer form while sitting in his highchair and said amen. He learned this at school. I'm beyond thrilled. As we say our prayers at night he puts his little hands in prayer and sits very still while I say his prayers for him. I am blessed)
bubbles
What happened? And he does his little hands in the oh my goodness what happened pose! So adorable!
clock
shoe
sock
banana
yeah ( it's the cutest thing to hear...'did you have a good day today Tate?' 'yeah! yeah!')
hot (everything is hot? hot?)
up
Vincent
trash
tree
off
seat
apple
giraffe
out
toy
toys (um yes that's 2 different words!!!) :)
milk
yogurt
cheerios
Oma
Opa
bike
thank you
no
hello
goat
coat
hat
spoon
teeth
bite
walk
cup
hippo
Corduroy (this stuns me...he's been saying it for about 2 months..won't sit still for more than 2 pages of the book, but loves to say Corduroy...has named his lovey bear this)
see (he'll show you something and say 'see?'
And best of all a Tate version of 'I love you'...I love.
I'm thinking I'm not going to be able to keep up with a list much longer. Each and everyday he says more words. Not only does he know the words, but he knows what they are in reference to. He comes downstairs to the second floor and runs into the living room saying 'toys!' He will also try to repeat any word I ask him to. If I am counting and say one, two he will follow with three. As much as I miss the baby stage, and I really do, this stage is awesome and I love it. I'm so much less stressed now by anything he does or doesn't do (usually) that I can just sit back and enjoy my amazing gift of being his mother. I spent the first year worrying incessantly about how much he wouldn't sleep which robbed me of enjoying his life. I finally let go of that control and wow is motherhood just grand now. (and that's definitely a topic for another post!)
Mother. Mommy. Mama. Mom. Mum. Moooooommmm.
I love my life.
Tate Christopher is making strides in leaps and bounds these days. I am so very lucky to be his mommy and be witness to his life. His joy and exuberance are a sight to behold. Where I once was so worried he wasn't talking enough, I am now amazed that I can say a 'new' word to him and he will most often repeat it and look astonished that he was able to do it. It's like he's rolling the new words around in his cute little mouth as he articulates them.
So in the past 2 months what has he become able to say? In no particular order....
Tate! He loves loves loves to say his name and looks for every opportunity to find his picture and point and say 'Tate'. This is new in the past week.
fish
pig
horse
neigh
Kayla and Korey (his cousins we are going to see in 2 weeks in NYC)
apple
help (when he has his meltdowns because he can't do something I'm always telling him 'just say mom
help please' He finally figured this out!!!)
grndada (that's how it sounds!)
mommy for grandmommy
mama for me
Yin-sey for Aunt Lindsey
airplane
truck
bus
light
two
three (but no counting!)
mum mum
please (he's been doing the sign for months and always does it at the appropriate time)
Amen (this is the sweetest thing ever...last Friday as he ate his snack at home, he put his hands in prayer form while sitting in his highchair and said amen. He learned this at school. I'm beyond thrilled. As we say our prayers at night he puts his little hands in prayer and sits very still while I say his prayers for him. I am blessed)
bubbles
What happened? And he does his little hands in the oh my goodness what happened pose! So adorable!
clock
shoe
sock
banana
yeah ( it's the cutest thing to hear...'did you have a good day today Tate?' 'yeah! yeah!')
hot (everything is hot? hot?)
up
Vincent
trash
tree
off
seat
apple
giraffe
out
toy
toys (um yes that's 2 different words!!!) :)
milk
yogurt
cheerios
Oma
Opa
bike
thank you
no
hello
goat
coat
hat
spoon
teeth
bite
walk
cup
hippo
Corduroy (this stuns me...he's been saying it for about 2 months..won't sit still for more than 2 pages of the book, but loves to say Corduroy...has named his lovey bear this)
see (he'll show you something and say 'see?'
And best of all a Tate version of 'I love you'...I love.
I'm thinking I'm not going to be able to keep up with a list much longer. Each and everyday he says more words. Not only does he know the words, but he knows what they are in reference to. He comes downstairs to the second floor and runs into the living room saying 'toys!' He will also try to repeat any word I ask him to. If I am counting and say one, two he will follow with three. As much as I miss the baby stage, and I really do, this stage is awesome and I love it. I'm so much less stressed now by anything he does or doesn't do (usually) that I can just sit back and enjoy my amazing gift of being his mother. I spent the first year worrying incessantly about how much he wouldn't sleep which robbed me of enjoying his life. I finally let go of that control and wow is motherhood just grand now. (and that's definitely a topic for another post!)
Mother. Mommy. Mama. Mom. Mum. Moooooommmm.
I love my life.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Noone
Wow. Two posts in one night.
As I sit here tonight going through pictures of Tate, 'checking' Facebook, deleting some emails I am overwhelmed by the quiet of my home. Tate has been in bed since 7, and Vincent is still not pleased with me over his visit to the vet yesterday. I looked around and just became insidiously aware of my aloneness. Every. Single. Night. Once Tate is asleep I do have a myriad of things to accomplish before I can rest and just be. I have to clean up the dirty dinner dishes, clean out his lunch bag and backpack and put all those items into the dishwasher or clean them. There's always laundry to be done, picking up after Tate (and the cat), dishwasher to be emptied, bills to pay and showers to take. But it's all done alone.
Just me.
Noone to share the details of my day with. Noone to say 'Should we watch television or just hang out?" Noone to ask 'Can I lend you a hand?' Noone to say 'You're doing a great job.' Noone to ask how I'm feeling. Noone to massage my tired feet. Noone to enjoy my meal with if I didn't get my act together to eat with Tate. Noone to just sit there and be a witness to my life.
The phone doesn't normally ring after 730pm as most of my friends have families with children and husbands. Homework is being done, baths are being taken, swim lessons and soccer practice are running late, so dinner will be late. And once their kids are in bed, they're doing much of the same things I've been doing only there is someone there to share it with. Now I'm patently aware that many or some partners don't do their fair share of sharing, but I'm not referring to 'chores.' I'm referring to just sharing a life with someone...the mundane, everyday nuances of living. I think I miss that. Tonight the quiet is deafening. Tonight I'm lonely. And I know this feeling may be that I just had a houseguest for 10 days, so his presence is definitely missed. But for whatever reason, tonight I'm lonely.
This single life is hard sometimes. I think I thought having another person in this house albeit a child would make the loneliness seem less intrusive, and it definitely does. Yet though Tate's laughter, joy and embracement of life fill up every single corner of this house, I'm still lonely sometimes when he's awake. I love watching him live his life, and I wish many a time there was someone else who could sit here with me and witness his life. I know he won't remember these days, and now I'm charged with remembering it for him. Me. Just me.
Being single is hard. And tonight it's been exceptionally tough. So, I shall go off to bed in the room I share with my precious boy, run my hand down his little back to feel his sweet tummy breathe in and out as I always do, press a kiss to his head and climb into bed. Alone. Maybe he'll wake up tonight and want a cuddle. Wouldn't that be nice? My soft sweet baby all tucked up under me. That will make being single and alone in the bed completely worth it.
As I sit here tonight going through pictures of Tate, 'checking' Facebook, deleting some emails I am overwhelmed by the quiet of my home. Tate has been in bed since 7, and Vincent is still not pleased with me over his visit to the vet yesterday. I looked around and just became insidiously aware of my aloneness. Every. Single. Night. Once Tate is asleep I do have a myriad of things to accomplish before I can rest and just be. I have to clean up the dirty dinner dishes, clean out his lunch bag and backpack and put all those items into the dishwasher or clean them. There's always laundry to be done, picking up after Tate (and the cat), dishwasher to be emptied, bills to pay and showers to take. But it's all done alone.
Just me.
Noone to share the details of my day with. Noone to say 'Should we watch television or just hang out?" Noone to ask 'Can I lend you a hand?' Noone to say 'You're doing a great job.' Noone to ask how I'm feeling. Noone to massage my tired feet. Noone to enjoy my meal with if I didn't get my act together to eat with Tate. Noone to just sit there and be a witness to my life.
The phone doesn't normally ring after 730pm as most of my friends have families with children and husbands. Homework is being done, baths are being taken, swim lessons and soccer practice are running late, so dinner will be late. And once their kids are in bed, they're doing much of the same things I've been doing only there is someone there to share it with. Now I'm patently aware that many or some partners don't do their fair share of sharing, but I'm not referring to 'chores.' I'm referring to just sharing a life with someone...the mundane, everyday nuances of living. I think I miss that. Tonight the quiet is deafening. Tonight I'm lonely. And I know this feeling may be that I just had a houseguest for 10 days, so his presence is definitely missed. But for whatever reason, tonight I'm lonely.
This single life is hard sometimes. I think I thought having another person in this house albeit a child would make the loneliness seem less intrusive, and it definitely does. Yet though Tate's laughter, joy and embracement of life fill up every single corner of this house, I'm still lonely sometimes when he's awake. I love watching him live his life, and I wish many a time there was someone else who could sit here with me and witness his life. I know he won't remember these days, and now I'm charged with remembering it for him. Me. Just me.
Being single is hard. And tonight it's been exceptionally tough. So, I shall go off to bed in the room I share with my precious boy, run my hand down his little back to feel his sweet tummy breathe in and out as I always do, press a kiss to his head and climb into bed. Alone. Maybe he'll wake up tonight and want a cuddle. Wouldn't that be nice? My soft sweet baby all tucked up under me. That will make being single and alone in the bed completely worth it.
Easter 2011
So, now that the drama of a 'sick' kiddo and kitty cat has dissipated, I can record my memories of Tate's second Easter for him!!
The Easter Bunny had left a little something for Tate Sunday morning, but Tate was not the least bit interested until he had finished his breakfast of champions...cheerios, banana and plain yogurt. Then he was all over the Easter Basket offerings!! Such absolute joy in his face, his voice and his actions!! This is what having a child is all about...the pure and complete joy of life!! Christian's family also sent along some wrapped gifts for Tate as well...they are so amazing!!
Tate, Christian and I went to the kid-centerd Awesome Worship Service at our church, St. John the Divine. It's a completely child centered service. I have to admit, I do miss my traditional service, Rite II in the church. I could put Tate in the church nursery, but we already spend so much time apart during the week that I have yet to do so. He does fairly well in the service, but it always hankering for a snack or something to drink. The sermon can be a little long for him as they are geared towards children probably over the age of 3, but we go every once and a while. He'll get there. I so want him to have a solid Christian upbringing and to enjoy going as much as I did.
So the 3 of us went together. I made an exception for Easter and allowed Tate to have his pacifier and both loveys during the entire service. Sigh. He did great alternating between Christian and I holding him. After the service the church has an Easter Egg Hunt out on the lawn. Again, Tate was unsure, but I think he had fun. He actually was very into picking up the eggs and giving them other children. He didn't collect very many for himself. I suppose I should be proud of his generous heart.
We ventured back home for naptime for both boys again after a small lunch :). My parents and youngest sister came over for a family Easter lunch. Yum!! My oldest sister and her family arrived later on, and we just hung out and let the kids play. That evening, Christian did Tate's entire bedtime routine from bath to bed one time, just the 2 of them. I know they both enjoyed that time together both nights, and I know it was a difficult time for Christian as he kissed Tate good-night one last time for what will be quite some time. It breaks my heart sometimes to witness Christian as he goes through this whenever he comes to visit. This gift he has given me is just one I cannot begin to describe.
The Easter Bunny had left a little something for Tate Sunday morning, but Tate was not the least bit interested until he had finished his breakfast of champions...cheerios, banana and plain yogurt. Then he was all over the Easter Basket offerings!! Such absolute joy in his face, his voice and his actions!! This is what having a child is all about...the pure and complete joy of life!! Christian's family also sent along some wrapped gifts for Tate as well...they are so amazing!!
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| Happy Easter Tate!! |
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| His presents from Christian's family! |
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| Oh so very excited! |
Tate, Christian and I went to the kid-centerd Awesome Worship Service at our church, St. John the Divine. It's a completely child centered service. I have to admit, I do miss my traditional service, Rite II in the church. I could put Tate in the church nursery, but we already spend so much time apart during the week that I have yet to do so. He does fairly well in the service, but it always hankering for a snack or something to drink. The sermon can be a little long for him as they are geared towards children probably over the age of 3, but we go every once and a while. He'll get there. I so want him to have a solid Christian upbringing and to enjoy going as much as I did.
So the 3 of us went together. I made an exception for Easter and allowed Tate to have his pacifier and both loveys during the entire service. Sigh. He did great alternating between Christian and I holding him. After the service the church has an Easter Egg Hunt out on the lawn. Again, Tate was unsure, but I think he had fun. He actually was very into picking up the eggs and giving them other children. He didn't collect very many for himself. I suppose I should be proud of his generous heart.
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| The eggs await!! |
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| Not quite understanding why we had to wait to go after the eggs!! |
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| Helping this little girl gather her eggs! |
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| Hanging with Aunt Lindsey and Christian! |
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| If only Tate had cooperated...we tried 4-5 times to take this picture! He just wanted to get down and play! Christian and I spent Easter evening together after Tate was asleep. We're a work in progress as we come to terms to this amazing life we have with us in Tate. This journey is one that we didn't expect to feel as it does, be as it is, but it's a blessing. I don't know what the future holds for any of us, but if it's anything like the past 21 months it will be absolutely amazing. |
Monday, May 2, 2011
Again....
Yet again, Tate has had an idiopathic allergic reaction. Unbelievable. As always, he's not the least bit fazed. He doesn't scratch or rub the hives all over his little body.
Sunday morning I heard him crying a bit in his crib around 3:30am. I checked the clock and just said to myself 'no way in hell am I going to go see what's wrong...let him work it out himself,' and I went back to sleep. I have no idea if he went back to sleep or continued whimpering or what. At 4:30am I heard him again. This time I got up and brought him into bed with me with strict orders to lay down and go to sleep. At 4:48am I was being kicked and messed with. I was not happy. I sat up, laid him down and hissed 'go to sleep.' At 7am (wow blessed 7am) he was kicking me, so up we got. I took off his sleep sack and pjs to change his diaper and he had many small patches of hives. I was horrified...this was probably why he didn't sleep well!!! I felt like the world's worst mother. I immediately gave him some Benadryl and within minutes the spots started dissipating. However, I knew they would most likely recur that afternoon. Sure enough by 3pm he was covered again. More benadryl down the hatch. I wracked my brain trying to figure out what had changed in the past 24 hours...only thing we had done was go to the zoo. He rode the train, rode the carousel and petted the goats. In addition he simply breathed the air of the animals.
I did expect however that his morning he would have little or hopefully no issues!! Sadly, he had hives in almost all the same places. I spoke to the triage nurse and she suggested bringing him in. My wonderful, amazing, generous, kind, fabulous mommy took him in for me, since I couldn't leave work (another post). We saw a substitute pediatrician since mine was off today. He said that this could continue for a few days and we as usual cannot pinpoint what has caused it. Ugh. And oddly enough as I sit here typing this I'm itching all over and breaking out in small hives too. What. Is. The. Deal?
So Benadryl every 6 hours until the hives are gone. Follow-up with our allergist as suggested this summer. Thankful Tate is such a happy go-lucky little guy who is rarely phased by medical calamities. And a mommy who wishes nothing bad would ever happen to her little boy.
Sunday morning I heard him crying a bit in his crib around 3:30am. I checked the clock and just said to myself 'no way in hell am I going to go see what's wrong...let him work it out himself,' and I went back to sleep. I have no idea if he went back to sleep or continued whimpering or what. At 4:30am I heard him again. This time I got up and brought him into bed with me with strict orders to lay down and go to sleep. At 4:48am I was being kicked and messed with. I was not happy. I sat up, laid him down and hissed 'go to sleep.' At 7am (wow blessed 7am) he was kicking me, so up we got. I took off his sleep sack and pjs to change his diaper and he had many small patches of hives. I was horrified...this was probably why he didn't sleep well!!! I felt like the world's worst mother. I immediately gave him some Benadryl and within minutes the spots started dissipating. However, I knew they would most likely recur that afternoon. Sure enough by 3pm he was covered again. More benadryl down the hatch. I wracked my brain trying to figure out what had changed in the past 24 hours...only thing we had done was go to the zoo. He rode the train, rode the carousel and petted the goats. In addition he simply breathed the air of the animals.
I did expect however that his morning he would have little or hopefully no issues!! Sadly, he had hives in almost all the same places. I spoke to the triage nurse and she suggested bringing him in. My wonderful, amazing, generous, kind, fabulous mommy took him in for me, since I couldn't leave work (another post). We saw a substitute pediatrician since mine was off today. He said that this could continue for a few days and we as usual cannot pinpoint what has caused it. Ugh. And oddly enough as I sit here typing this I'm itching all over and breaking out in small hives too. What. Is. The. Deal?
So Benadryl every 6 hours until the hives are gone. Follow-up with our allergist as suggested this summer. Thankful Tate is such a happy go-lucky little guy who is rarely phased by medical calamities. And a mommy who wishes nothing bad would ever happen to her little boy.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Festive Happenings late April 2011
Wow! It's been over two weeks since Christian arrived in the states!! He actually just left this evening from Chicago to return to Berlin. He spoke to Tate on the phone from the airport, and Tate blew him kisses and said bye in that sweet baby voice. We miss him.
So, yesterday afternoon Tate and I along with our friend Connie and her son Samuel went to Hermann Park to ride the train. Tate LOVED the train. As soon as he saw it he started beaming. He made a beeline for the front of the line to get on!! It was a lovely ride through the entire park...that place is huge and gorgeous. We will definitely have to go back and enjoy a picnic and playing in the water. We ventured to the zoo for just a bit, rode the carousel, went to the petting zoo (Tate loved the goats and actually called them goats with no prompting from me!) and admired the giraffes. Yesterday morning we went to our Gymboree Play and Learn Class. Tate loves loves loves the bubbles, the dancing around at the end and bouncing on the big log. He's in the class for 16-22 month olds, but he's by far the oldest in the class, so as soon as this month is up I'm moving him up. He's just so much more animated than the other children and runs around so much more trying everything out. He's going to smoosh a baby pretty soon!
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| Ready for the train to get going! |
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| These goats are cool! |
On Christian's last Friday with us we just hung out in the morning. We decided to go to the Kemah Boardwalk in the afternoon. It took forever to get there, but was so worth it. We plan that the next time we go, we'll stay overnight at the Boardwalk Inn. This place is a little kid's dream. Tate was a little young for most of the rides and activities, but in a year he'll be all over it! We rode the ferris wheel, which freaked both Christian and I out as we are both afraid of heights...go figure. We couldn't hold on to Tate tight enough and all he wanted was to get down out of our arms! Ugh! We rode the train here as well, and Tate was in heaven. He really loved going through all the tunnels with all the screaming and darkness!!
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| Convinced us he could sit on his own! |
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| So in love. |
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| :) |
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| This is SO much fun! |
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| Hanging with Momma on the train in Kemah! |
Saturday morning (Tate's 21 month old birthday) we got together with our tribe for our annual Easter Egg Hunt! We actually use the cascarones (the eggs with confetti). Everyone brought a brunch munchie, we ate and then the eggs were 'hidden' in plain sight and the kids had a ball. Well the adults had just as much fun!!! Tate was a little unsure, but got into the swing of it soon enough. Later that afternoon after his nap, Christian put together his bike that my parents got him for Christmas. We had a great time playing outside in the Texas heat.
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| He needs more!! |
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| Our tribe! |
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| This is my new favorite picture. |
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| Tate not happy it's taking so long to put the bike together. |
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| I can help Tate says! |
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| All finished!! Tate LOVES this bike! |
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