Separated

For the first time in 3 years 8 months and 2 days I am sitting in my bed, in my bedroom, with the television on.  Alone.  

Because I am seriously ill.

Tate is with his grandparents and has been since Sunday morning around 10am.

On Friday afternoon I had a massage, and I was really chilled during most of it and my nose was beyond congested.  I chalked it up to maybe the bed warmer wasn't on high enough and I always gets congested laying on my stomach while she works on my back.  When I was done, I was still cold and a bit tired, but I just blew it off.

I picked Tate up from school and we did our normal Friday stuff, trains, books, Zingo, dinner, bath, books, teeth and bed.  I'm sure y'all remember me saying I was exhausted and that I rocked him to sleep :)  I climbed into bed with him soon after that post.

And woke up around 3am with a fever of 101.86.

With Tate right next to me.

Mi-ser-able.

I downed 4 Advil and slept fitfully.

We were up at 6...ugh.  

Somehow I made it without taking out too much of my feeling poorly on sweet Tate.  We had plans to meet one of his little schoolmates and her mama to see the Easter Bunny and for lunch.  So I downed 3 more Advil at 9am and we headed out.

Those happy faces were worth it :)

We even went to lunch at one of our favorite restaurants.

But I knew I was headed downhill.  I called my mommy from the restaurant and asked her to meet me at home as soon as she could because I was feeling lousy.  

She was there when we got home at 12:30.  I came in and laid down.  And she took over.  She is so amazing.

From upstairs in bed I could hear Tate laughing and squealing with joy.  He was so very happy to have someone playing with him constantly.  Because when I play with him, I play for 10 minutes then fold a load of laundry, play a bit more, then do some dishes etc.  He had a blast.  Lindsey showed up at some point and did what she does best...nap :)  

In the interim I texted with my old college roommate/sorority sister who's a physician in Dallas.  She had called in an antibiotic for me earlier in the morning as we thought I had a sinus infection.  By 5pm it was obvious this was much more because I had taken 3 more Advil at 3pm and my fever was 102.7.  She had me switch to Tylenol and ordered rest.  She was worried though; it was obvious.  The fact that my fever wasn't breaking was concerning.

My mom did most of Tate's bedtime routing, but I ended up putting him to sleep because he wouldn't relax for her, so I did my best to not breathe on him.  She slept with him that night and I slept in the room downstairs.  (I changed all sheets on our bed).

I was still absolutely miserable on Sunday.  Susan had told me to stay ahead of my fever, and to set my alarm to wake up overnight to take my Tylenol and to continue to do so.  So that's what I did.   With no relief.  My mom went grocery shopping for me and then I asked her to take Tate home with her with the promise to Tate that I would come pick him up later.

I never made it.

I was just so miserable.  My fever remained high and just sapped all my energy and I just felt awful.

Finally, I took myself to the ER right up the street at 6:30pm.  Yes, I went to the ER for a fever.

But I was so scared that something was seriously wrong with me.  And I could not fathom another night of misery not knowing what the hell was wrong with me.  I had already asked my sister to spend the night with me because I didn't want to be alone overnight.

I was in tears as I gave them my medical history.  My fever was 101.9.  And they were so kind as I sobbed.  

Then they swabbed my nose...unpleasant.

The doctor came in and told me "You have Flu A and Flu B."

I said "What?"  Then "Wait, what does that mean?"

He told me that I had both strains of the flu and that is very rare to get both strains at the same time.

Especially for someone who has had the damn flu shot.

And my child has not had the flu shot.

I was despondent.

Lindsey arrived to hold my hand, ok so she hung out in the doorway when I told her how sick I was, but she was there :)

I have to stay home until I am fever free for 24 hours without meds.  Heck I can't stay fever free with the medication.  I was put on Tamiflu and sent home to rest.

Lindsey ran around getting my meds at 8:00 at night, going to no less than 4 supposed 24 hour pharmacies.  My lovely neighbor had brought me some soup and bread earlier.  My best friend, Tate's godmother, brought me lunch and dinner tonight.  

And my parents.

My parents.

They have had Tate since yesterday and will have him all day tomorrow as well.  My dad drove all the way over here today to get Tate's meds and food and clothes.

I skyped with Tate around lunchtime and he was fine, but he looked at me beseechingly towards the end and wailed "I wanna go home."

Broke my heart.

My sweet boy.

We've never been apart more than overnight.  I usually drop him off around 3 on a Saturday and pick him up by 10 or 11 am on Sunday, so this is a long time for him, for me, for us.

But I gotta keep him safe.  He's unprotected by the flu shot.  And I cannot have him this miserable.

So tonight I've just taken another dose of Tylenol as my fever is 100.4, and I just took Tylenol about 45 minutes.  

So, I've got my prayer warriors praying for me and my sweet boy this Holy Week.  

As we head into Christ's passion, his death and resurrection I remember that "....by His stripes we are healed..." Isaiah 53:4 by my sweet friend S. who is among my prayer warriors lifting me up for healing and Tate for protection.

I also find it a bit comforting that as I turned on my television tonight, changing the channels and  turning up the volume, the first words I heard were from some television preacher.

What did I hear?

"By his stripes we are healed."  

My little boy and I...we're going to be just fine.  

But I sure do miss him.