The Way We Were

I always had in my mind the kind of mother I would be.  I don't know if I've lived up to my own hype, but I'm the kind of mother Tate needs me to be....most of the time.

I also always had in my mind the way we would be with our friends, my friends.  Kind of, or actually very much, like the way my sister, Kellie and I were with our parents' friends.  I have such vivid memories of playing in the Penn's basement with their three kids...2 girls and a boy and the Harts' kids...a boy and a girl.  Our parents would get together regularly (way too regularly for us kids' liking) to play cards...Pinochle is the one I always remember hearing about.  To this day, I can hear the shuffling of the cards, the laughter of our young parents, the music Lou Rawls or The Commodores drifting over the yelling, laughing and footsteps running up the stairs of us 7 kids.  So. Much. Fun.  Looking back, it was an amazing time in my life.  The simple joy of being a child.  This was before all the organized sports, the tutoring, the running around trying to be the best.  A time when kids were kids.  And kids were seen and heard.  Yet, we knew to settle our squabbles amongst ourselves.  We knew to play nice.  We knew leaving someone out would get ALL of us in trouble.  We may not have been friends who chose to be friends, but we were friends.  Better friends than we even knew at the time.  Today, our parents are all still amazingly close.  Though the three couples are spread across the country...Baltimore, St. Louis and Houston, they still chat and laugh together regularly.  The other two couples have flown down here to celebrate special wedding anniversaries with my parents, and my parents have flown to each of their celebrations.  How special and wonderful is their bond.  

We kids have not kept in touch.   We lost one of us though, several years ago, very shortly after the birth of her child.  I remember Gail's huge, huge smile, her sweet shyness and her awe of her big brother.  Her daughter is 14 almost 15 now.  And I still cannot fathom that Gail is not on this planet anymore.  She was such a part of my early childhood.  Those memories....

I want Tate to have these kinds of memories.  To have these kind of experiences.  But this is a different time, a different world.  It seems like getting together with families is hard, so very hard.  Everyone is always pulled in a million different directions.  Both husbands and wives work, so weekend time with the family is precious.  It's hard to envision spending every Friday or Saturday night with others;  these times are for family.  But see,  those friends in Baltimore were our family.

So now we get together, just every now and then.  Emails have to go out weeks in advance for everyone to put the date and time on their calendars.  And even then we can't all make it.  Our urban tribe is just so very busy....from other kids' birthday parties to soccer games and baseball tournaments...busy, busy, busy.  But back then, these friends were family you see.  Other kids' birthday parties could be missed and what soccer games?  There were no soccer games.  You played soccer on the street or in your front yard with your neighbors.

Last Saturday, Bryan called the tribe together to ostensibly watch the A&M/Florida football game.  Those of us with kids were invited to bring them to stash them in the pool while the kidless enjoyed A&M's first adventure in the SEC (whatever that means!)

Our tribe was mostly complete.  And for a moment in time my baby experienced the joy of family friendship, for this tribe, this urban tribe is my family here in town.  

Lindsey joined us this weekend.  She graciously offered to be in the pool with Tate for me.  My little boy jumped and jumped into the pool over and over again!  For the first time!  From quite a distance!  He had to be just like the other kids of course!!

Then about 5 of the kids (including Tate) decided to jump in together, holding hands.  Oh. What. Fun.  I loved seeing the joy on their faces.  And I loved seeing them work together, the 2 older kids (all of 6 years old) watching out to be sure the younger kids (two 3 year olds and a 4 year old!) made it in safely, the littler ones so excited to be part of something with the older ones.  It was a fantastic day.  Tate and I both had a great time.  And he left with a crush on his new friend, Sammi.  Six year old Sammi along with her parents and older brother and younger sister just moved back to Houston after about 5 years living abroad.  And Tate was more than taken with her.  She's all I've heard about for the past week.  She's the lovely girl in the pink swimsuit HOLDING HIS HAND!  :)  Towards the end of the afternoon, I let Tate play in the pool for just a few minutes by himself!!  Well, the other kids were in there with him, but there was no other adult.  I was so very proud of Tate.  He played and splashed a bit.  For a minute there he swam out away from the steps and couldn't quite make it back.  I asked Sammi to grab his arm and pull him in....HEROIC in Tate's mind apparently!!

6 year old Noah on the right and
 4 year old Celia making sure 3 year old Isla is ready!

JUMP!!

As I sat under the umbrella with  Nikki watching our precious children, I thought to myself that this is what I envisioned raising my child(ren) amidst.  Laughter, yelling and splashing in the pool with family friends.  The friends who last a lifetime.  The ones who will celebrate anniversaries for years to come.  Nikki felt it too, I think, for she reached out her hand for mind.  I grabbed hold of her hand and I could almost hear the music of Lou Rawls wafting over me.