Love Actually - Tate's Birth Story - A Short Part III

Plans were set in motion.  I found another RE who I actually just loved, and not just him, his entire staff.  They were warm, welcoming and extremely supportive.  Not one person batted an eye about my quest to becoming a single mother by choice via a known donor. 

I had a few appointments, blood work, testing done prior to Christian's journey to spend a week here with me in late August.  We had decided we needed to spend some time together, one on one.  We wanted to get to know each other and try to be sure this was something we truly wanted to do.  As well, Christian would need to go through a battery of tests to determine his viability as a sperm donor.  He had been tested for STDs in Germany in March of that year, and was all clear.  But he still had to be tested here in the states, make a donation and have his sperm quarantined the requisite 6 months before we could move forward with IUI or IVF.  

So, he booked a flight and just like that, this man I had met one time, and spent 12 hours with was winging his way across the Atlantic Ocean to see about making a baby with me!

I was a bundle of nerves.  Am I crazy?  What if he's crazy? What if I have this virtual stranger in my home who's crazy?  What do I know about this man?  A person can 'be' whoever they want to be online, in email, on the phone.  What was I thinking?  

So, in addition to the realization that I wanted to move forward with my plans to become a mother and ALL that entailed, I had this other huge cloud of doubt over my head.  I was one a mess.  Emotionally on edge.  So much was riding on this visit.  If things didn't work out I would be back to square one and would have wasted so much time.  If Christian wasn't who I thought he was I was going to be heartbroken. And I would have been devastated if I wasn't who he thought I was.   I knew if 'we' didn't work out I had other options;  I still had all the information from the California Cryobank, but my heart was really set on my child being able to know his/her father from birth.   

Then I was at the airport.  I was waiting outside the Customs Terminal for this man.  What would we do?  Would we hug?  Would we do the European air-kiss?  Would we even recognize one another?

And then, there he was.

Grinning from ear to ear.

And I knew.

I knew everything was going to be just fine.  

I ran up to him and he enveloped me in an amazing hug.  

Full of love.  

And I was reminded in that very instant of one of my most favorite scenes from one of my most favorite movies....

And it may seem cheesy and surreal and simplistic, but this feeling has stayed with me.  We had forged an amazing friendship and we were going to be blessed to be able to try to take this friendship to new and very unchartered heights.  I desperately wanted everything to work out:  I wanted to get pregnant right away!  I wanted Christian and I to be able to take these 10 days together to get to know one another and be sure of this journey we both so wanted to be on together!  I wanted him to 'pass' all his tests with flying colors!  I wanted to get pregnant right away!  I wanted my friends and family to like him!!  I wanted him to like my family and friends!  I wanted him to be happy, secure and thrilled with his decision to donate for me; to be happy to have me have 'his' baby.  I wanted to get pregnant right away!  I wanted him to love this baby to be as much as I already did.   I wanted to be a mommy.

And already there was lots of love.  Right there in the middle of the arrivals gate at IAH.  Love, love, love.  

Love actually was right there all around us and between us that Friday afternoon.

Driving out of the airport was absolutely surreal.  I was nervous.  I was worried.  I was happy.  I was, well I just was.  We talked over one another, around one another, to one another.   I don't even know how we made it to my house :)  

Obviously I don't remember the details, and I so wish I did if no other reason that Tate would know how we spent that first evening together in what was to be Tate's first home.  But I do recall some of the highlights.

Christian arrived on the 22nd, a Friday.  I'm sure we spent that first night just here at home and I know he was jet lagged.  In addition, I was throwing a party the following evening for him to meet my closest friends.  We did go to my parents' house that Saturday morning, so my parents could meet him first.  My parents were quite unsure about this whole 'known donor' idea;  they were as excited as could be expected about me becoming an SMC as it was.  Their main worry was mostly could I really do this alone, so throw into the mix a known donor who could very feasibly make my life very difficult and traumatic if he opted to try to be more than a donor and they were on pins and needles.  But as always, my parents were gracious, open and honest and trusted me and my instincts.

Saturday night was a celebration of mine and my mommy's birthday here at my home.  I was surrounded by those whom I love the most and I got to share my friends and family with Christian.  He was in the midst of all this love in this house.  The place was positively buzzing with excitement and joy.  The excitement of me having a baby, birthday celebrations, friends gathered who love one another and meeting this new guy, this foreigner :)  It was one of the best parties I've ever thrown...

Me and 3 of my girls from my urban tribe! 

My mommy and daddy

Most of the tribe!!  Love all of them so much!!!

ADPi love (and there's Tate's godmother to be in the pink skirt! ) 

My littlest girls... 

My sisters!

The Birthday Girls!

Flirting with the boys!

New friends for Christian!

One of my favorite photos.  That's me and Shelley (Tate's godmother)
 with our parents! Our parents met in 1986 when we were in our second
 semester of our freshman year in college, at our sorority (ADPi)
 parents' day luncheon!  We have been inseparable since! 

Me and my big sis!

Me and my Susan,  my dearest dear friend who is the one
who suggested I become a mommy!

Looking back at those pictures just makes me smile.  God was moving amongst us that night, spreading joy and so much love.  I can actually feel the love still today just when I see those smiles of the ones I love the most.