Second Week of Summer 2015

Our second week of summer brought a new camp, an illness and time with a much missed friend.

Sunday, Nanny S came over to babysit while I attended an alumni event for my university!  It was lovely to see my 'big sister' and my pi pal :).  Listening to Dr. Purdy reminded me of my college days...loved him and everything about that place!

Nanny S took Tate and her niece to a local splash pad, and from the pictures it appears everyone had a fantastic time!!

Monday morning it what time for Tate's Creative Writing Camp.  It's half day, absolutely not conducive to working families or those without a nanny/babysitter for their kids.  But it was important to me that Tate have lots of unstructured time during the week if possible, so I'm sucking it up this summer (and probably for the next couple) so he can have some downtime at home in many afternoons.  Since camp starts after I have to be at work, I'm dropping him at my friend's house, and she takes him and her daughter.  I LOVE my village!

Tuesday I had a dental appointment, so I go to take Tate to camp!!  He was thrilled...I walked him all the way into the classroom and got to meet his teachers.  He was right at home!!!

Wednesday was the awful 'everything happened at once' day.  Tate vomited while his playdate was over, the pest control guy and contractor arrived at the same time as he got sick, and 2 minutes later said playdate announced he was afraid of cats!  Nanny S handled all with aplomb and by the time I got home with Pedialyte and Gatorade Tate was hanging in there.  Exhausted, headachy and still feeling poorly in his stomach, but hanging in there.  (he threw up all over me about 30 minutes after I got home :( )  By 7pm he was asking to go to bed and was out within seconds.

Thursday he happily stayed home with Nanny S all day.  I gave him the Cars 2 DVD much to his delight as I'd been holding on to it to give it to him at a special time.  This seemed as good as any.  I also had Nanny S dole out a couple of Cars diecast cars as well over the course of the day.  He was a very happy little boy.

I did have a good scare though.  I called to check on them around 1220, actually I texted Nanny S.  No response back, so I called.  Three times...the phone went straight to an automated message which said 'The number you have dialed is no longer a working number.'  So I called my home number...no answer three times.  I texted and called her cell again.  No answer.  I started to get worried.  Had something happened to them?  Did she have to take him to the hospital?  Where was she with my child?  We have had a rash of crime in my neighborhood, and everyone is on high alert.  We have extra patrols and people are arming themselves against intruders left and right.

In any event, I decided to come home and check.  Imagine my horror when I pulled onto my street and there were absolutely no cars on the street.  Not one.  Her car was nowhere to be seen.  Where were they?  Now we had talked about them going to get popsicles at some point during the day, and her phone had been having trouble getting my texts the day before...well actually she received my texts, but her texts would not come through either at all or they were delayed.  But I had been able to call with no problem and vice versa.  All I could think was that someone had disabled her phone and something had happened to them.

 Her computer was here in my house along with all her other belongings; my house alarm had been turned on. I knew she wouldn't take Tate anywhere, but did I really?  How well do you really ever know another person?  I have no other way of contacting her, nor do I know how to reach her mother or sister if I needed to (I realize now I need to get this information from her for her own safety).  Why didn't/couldn't she answer the phone?

I was a basket case.  So I waited.  I called work and said I was going to wait.  Finally they came in after I'd been here about 15 minutes.  I almost collapsed while holding Tate, trying not to let him know how scared I'd been.  He was over the moon to see me!!  (this was when I gave him his Cars 2 movie)

Turns out she was talking to her phone carrier as they walked in to tell them her phone was not working.  They had gone to the store to get the popsicles, and I must have called the home phone right after they left.  So, all was good, and I headed back to the office and was just a tad bit tardy.

Friday morning I took Tate to camp, and he insisted that I walk him all the way in :) instead of dropping off in the carpool line.  I had a lovely massage while he was there then picked him up to come home for the weekend!!!  We had a lovely Game Night and Movie Night complete with pizza and Charlie Brown movies (he is loving Charlie Brown these days...he watches those little videos all the time!).

Saturday was the big day for Tate.  The day he'd been waiting for for weeks!!  He was going to Leo's birthday party!!  Oh my goodness has Tate missed Leo something fierce!!  All week long he asked when it was going to be Saturday, and then on Saturday he was asking when we were going, what time was the party.

I must say I was worried about how this re-connection would go.  Tate has not seen Leo since last August, yet I know he's never stopped loving his friend.  He talks about Leo pretty often and mentions their friendship all the time.  He has not found that connection with anyone else, and I don't know that he ever will.  They were together from the time they were 11 months old until they were 5 years old.  Day in and day out.  10 hours a day.  Napping together. Eating together.  Playing together. Being rocked together.  Learning together.  They did those formative years together, every.single.day. There's a strong connection there.  

Sadly, though his mother and I don't have that connection.  I like her well enough, but other than our love for our kids we don't have much in common.  We're very similar in our approach to parenting on many levels.  But she's a very traditional person, and I am too I suppose, but my family is very nontraditional.  I don't know if that unsettles her.  Actually I don't think that's it...I think we're just two very different people and if not for our kids we would not be friends.  And that's so totally ok.  

It just makes it hard for the boys.  We just didn't get to make the time for them to see each other this year.  

I happened to post on fb a picture of the boys graduating last year for 'throwback thursday'.  Leo's mom saw the picture and commented.  I mentioned that we needed to get the boys together.  I had also sent her a picture of Tate's summer bucket list in which Leo's name was on almost every single page.  She then invited Tate to Leo's birthday party.

So I wasn't sure if she invited Tate because though she knew Leo would love to have Tate there, that she might not have had him on the list until this moment. 

I decided I didn't care.  My child wanted to see his friend.  That's all that mattered to me.  I was going to make it happen. 

We loaded up the car and drove the 25 miles to their house for the party.

Those boys were in heaven.  It was like they'd never been apart.  They were inseparable the entire party.  I didn't notice Leo playing with any other kid but my kid. 

I'm so glad we went.

I love their little heads together! 

Leo let Tate help him open every single present!

I really hope to get Tate over to see Leo this summer at least one more time.  As soon as we drove away Tate asked if they could have a playdate.  I'm going to do my best to add that to our list of 'to dos' this summer.

This wonderful summer of being 5!  It's so much fun to be a little boy!

When It Rains, It Pours

It's been raining here, ALOT.  So much so that I have a huge leak in my dining room window that has ruined two sets of very expensive blinds, caused staining on my stucco and damage to the interior of my home as well.

All that to say I finally hired a general contractor to try to come help figure out what was wrong with my house and how to fix it.  Which cost money.  Lots of it.

I also have birds in my stove vent.  Lots of chirpy, happy birds.  I hired a Pest control company to come figure out to fix that problem.  Which cost money.  A bit of it.

I ran into a trashcan trying to allow someone to drive past me when I had the right-of-way, so I scooted over and hit said trashcan.  Which cost money.  Lots of it.

So, today since Tate's camp is only half day I arranged for the contractor and pest guy to come over and get their work going.  I also arranged for a playdate for Tate with one of his friends from school..he lives right around the corner.  Nanny S picked Tate up from camp and picked D up and brought them both home.

When I called to see how everything was going during lunch Nanny S said Tate had told her his forehead hurt and asked why D had to come over.  We just chalked the forehead up to the fact that he needed some down time before playing with D, but Nanny S had to get D since his grandmother couldn't bring him at that moment.  All seemed good.  Once Tate had some lunch he was playing with D.

I called around 2 to see if either company had showed up yet;  neither had.  

But...Tate had just thrown up.  Uh-Oh.

As Nanny S was telling me about it, the doorbell rang.  It was the pest guy.  She got him inside and was trying to show him where everything was while comforting Tate and getting D situated.  

Meanwhile I'm on the line and texting D's mom to tell her Tate has thrown up;  could her mom come get D?

Then Nanny S says that now D is scared of Vincent who has gotten riled up with all the commotion apparently.  Nanny S who herself is not a cat person, corralled Vincent into Tate's bedroom.  He of course did not go willingly.

So she's trying to check on Tate when the doorbell rings again...it's the contractor.  I'm being called for a patient, so I had to go and leave them to their chaos.

I check back in around 230, and Nanny S says Tate was still complaining his forehead hurt, so I told her to give him some ibuprofen.  I talked to the contractor and they had determined where the leak is, so we're going to move forward with the repairs as soon as he can get his stucco guy out here.

Pest guy got the stove cleaned out, found tons of bird stuff and gunk.   Blech!  He sealed up the vent and hopefully that is the end of that.

I raced home as soon as I could after work to see my sweet boy who was just laying on the couch watching his new favorite movies...Charlie Brown. :)  Nanny S told me he threw up two more times...once all of his lunch...all over absolutely everything...blanket, pillow, living room table, floor. She graciously rinsed out and washed the blanket and got Tate bathed.

We huddled on the couch after she left to watch some more Charlie Brown and I gave him some sips of Pedialyte.  Which came back up 30 minutes later with the remnants of lunch...all over me, him and my couch.

All bathed and laundered 30 minutes later we were reading books in bed and he just laid down to go to sleep...totally unheard of for him.  He is not one to ever, ever lay down and close his eyes especially while something is going on.  He was out by 7:05.

So I know he's sick.  I'm hoping it's just a 24 hour stomach virus, but the headache could mean an impending fever.  He was afebrile when he fell asleep, but he'd also had motrin at 230, so we weren't quite 6 hours post dosage.  I'll check him before I go to bed.  

Poor little bug.  He so rarely gets a real sickness, and by real I mean something that wears him out, causes him discomfort.  He gets sinus and allergy related stuff often enough, but that stuff doesn't knock him on his ass like truly being sick does.   I definitely cannot remember the last time he threw up like this...I feel like it was when he was still in diapers!

So no camp tomorrow...Nanny S will come stay with him all day.  Which will cost me more money.  I hope he's up to camp on Friday...(a) because he's enjoying it (b) because I paid a lot of money for it, and I want him to get everything out of it he can and (c) I have a massage scheduled for 9am!!!!  :)

All is good.  We're home, he's asleep and we're together.  My prayer tonight will be for a good night's sleep for both us, healing for him and a brighter tomorrow.

I Want To Have Summer Fun With You, Mommy

Last week during dinner one night I was going over Tate's summer plans with him.  I told him he was going to have so much fun!  He really seemed on board with the whole idea of a summer of fun.  I mentioned that Nanny S would be picking him up from camp most days and that even better, some of the camps were only half days!!  That meant he would get to come home and play with his toys or go to the playground or go to the library or hang out with his friends for playdates. He was going to have such a fun summer.

He looked a little distraught.  I asked him what was wrong.  

"I want to have fun with you, Mommy."

I about burst into tears.

There is nothing I wouldn't love more than to spend a summer with this little boy.  I hate that I can't give him what he wants and desperately needs.  This is the one thing I wished I had known when I decided to become a pediatric dentist...that summer would be my busiest time, and the hardest time to get away.  I mean it never even dawned on me.   I work on all these patients all day long and hear about their weeks long trips out of the country or their 2 months away to Wisconsin while I have to scrape a week to spend with the most important person in my life, the reason I work so hard.  Yet, I'm grateful to have a job that allows me to have him, provide for him and spend a week with him.  Still my heart breaks.

My plan is to plan some very fun weekends with him...we will do something just the two of us every weekend.  I need to give him all my attention when I get home from work.  I'm going to try to have lunch with him during the week when he has half day camps.  We'll have that connection that we both need and want.

We will have our summer of fun!!!

First Week of Summer 2015

It's hard to believe that our first week of summer is already over, and it's only June 7!!!  Summer is my busiest time, so I don't get to take a lot of time off with Tate, but luckily I do have 3 day weekends which allow for some impromptu day/weekend trips if we'd like.

Of utmost importance to me for Tate's first summer out of school was that it be as unstructured as possible.  I want him to just play, play, play as much as he can.  I don't think he needs to be working on learning a foreign language, I don't think he needs to prep for 1st grade, I don't think he needs to be sitting in a classroom doing math and reading problems.  I think he needs to get outside and have fun.  Or be inside and have fun.  He has his whole life to learn.    

There are only 2 things I want him to learn this summer: 

Learn how to tie his shoes.

Learn how to ride a bike without training wheels.

Everything else is just icing on the cake.

So he's going to mostly 'fun' camps.  I've actually signed him up for a lot of half day camps which is a great expense to me, because I'm having to pay his nanny to pick him up and take care of him.  But it's totally worth it to me.  They can go to the zoo, to the library, to the Children's Museum, to the park.  They can play outside...(read she can help him learn to ride the bike :) ).  They can have playdates with his friends, they can go to the spray park, they can even come meet for lunch sometimes!!!  So that's my unstructured summer plan...a whole lot of fun.

Tate did make a bucket list at the end of the school year for the summer;  I'll have to add that to my own bucket list for us in my next post!

Last Saturday we had our last Soccer Shots session;  I doubt we'll do it again in the fall...we've so loved this organization.  Tate started with them when he was 3 years old at his old daycare, and we started the weekend classes when he was 3 1/2 (while he continued the weekly classes at daycare).  We've truly enjoyed them, but I think I'm going to try to move to league soccer in the fall.

OOF...right in the face!

Saturday night I got to have a mommy night out with my tribe while Nanny S babysat.  I braved a torrential rainstorm and possible flooding to get there...all well worth it!!

The first Sunday of summer started off with church!  Tate loves helping with the collection plate...

After church we met some old college friends for lunch then came home and just hung out!!  Love hanging out with my little guy!

Monday morning it was time for Zoo Camp!  It starts after I'm at work, so Nanny S came over each morning and took Tate when camp started.  As always I'm a nervous wreck due to his food allergies especially when I'm not the one taking him to camp..I feel like I'm a lot more pushy and informed, but I had to have faith that Nanny S would rely my concerns.  Thankfully, we've done this camp two summers already, and I hoped the staff would remember Tate (and they did!)  He wasn't doing camp with any of his friends, but as always my outgoing little boy made some friends and had a fabulous time.  He came home with lots of crafts, lots of stories of feeding the giraffes, seeing a sea lion show and riding the carousel.  It's an all day camp; Nanny S picked him up as well.  However, I got to take him on Friday, and oh my goodness he was so happy, and so proud.  He told everyone who would listen that his mommy was bringing him that day!  And his smile was just huge.  My sweet boy.

Here he is at drop-off the first day...

Drop-off on Friday...

He was also so excited to show me this little song they learned!!

He proudly showed me the aquarium his group made and we had to be sure to say good-bye to the lion and elephant!

We then drove out to the burbs to go to my friend's daughter's high school graduation party, the one I mentioned in the other post.  We had such a lovely time.  Tate had an absolute blast.  He played and played!

Ready to go to sleep in the car on the ride home!!

Saturday the 6th was my dad's 75th birthday!  In true Daddy style there was no hullabaloo.  He didn't want a big to-do.  He didn't want a lot of fuss.  He doesn't enjoy going out to eat or anything like that.  So since it was his big day we had sandwiches and cake at my parents' house.  Everyone came, and it was a lovely day.  Oh and no pictures either...my dad thinks we take too many pictures.  I am kind of sad that we have no photos to mark the occasion, but again he's the boss!  I have the memories in my heart and mind...that's what's important.  The cousins played outside, we girls hung out inside and my dad was happy.  Tate and I spent the night and I got to hang out with my mommy last night.

All in all I think it was a fantastic first week of summer!!!

My Plus One

Last night Tate and I went to one of my friend's daughter's high school graduation party.  D and I have been friends since we were 10 years old and in the 5th grade together.  37 years of friendship!!!  Isn't that amazing?!  We're not super close friends, we don't hang out or even chat on the phone, ever. But when I started practicing by their house, she brought her girls to me, and I was their dentist for 10 years!  Our mothers worked together at our neighborhood elementary school, and our parents now attend the same church.  All that to say that we don't have any friends in common from our adult lives, but several from our growing up years.

So last night D and her husband threw a huge, lovely bash for their daughter, S.  I figured I wouldn't know anyone, but I wanted to support D, S and their family.  That's what friends do, right?  Even friends you don't see or hang out with.  Friends who you know that when you need them, they would be there in a heartbeat to pray with you, hold you and care for you like you had hung out every day for a year.  That's the kind of friends we are.  So I went with my little boy.

My plus one.

Prior to him being in my life, I would have dreaded this kind of thing.  Because even though I know the hosts, they can't babysit me at their party.  I hate mingling with strangers.  I am not one to walk up to people and insinuate myself in their conversations.  I may have gone to this party pre-Tate, but I would have been much less comfortable.

Now I get to walk in with my happy boy who ran straight outside to play on the swingset.  I got to follow him outside and push him on the swings while surveying the partygoers.  And D was great being sure to introduce me to people and explaining our connection to everyone.  And who doesn't love to talk about their kids....so I heard about all the upcoming graduates and where they're going to college, while I shared tales of kindergarten shenanigans and summer camps for my 5 year old.

But most importantly, I finally have a plus one.  Someone who I can talk to while I eat, someone I can hang out with when I don't know another soul in the room, someone who will laugh at my jokes and someone who wants to be at my side.

Part of me is so very happy to have my plus one.

Yet, part of me is so very scared to have my plus one be my child.  Because he won't always be my plus one.  Oh my goodness, that thought brings such fear and sadness to my heart, it almost paralyzes me. Because I know it's going to happen much sooner than later.  I can hardly type for that realization.  I'll have to go back to going to events alone.  Heck, I'll throw events, and my plus one will be in the room, yet I'll be alone.    

I have to stop now.  

I have to live in the now.

I have to enjoy him now.

I have to soak up this time now.

I have to embrace our relationship now.

I have to love him (and myself!) now.

All there is, is now.

I have to remember....I have my plus one.  For now.

Last Day of Kindergarten

Friday was Tate's last day of kindergarten.

I have so many mixed emotions I don't even know where to start.  I can't believe he's going into 1st grade, though I think the transition to 2nd grade is going to be harder.  I still think of 1st graders as being little boys, little people.  2nd grade just seems so much more like real school.  I can't even bear to think of that right now, and thankfully I don't have to.

So my sweet little boy has finished kindergarten.  The last day was one big Tate celebration!!  I was absolutely exhausted by the time we got home at 5:15!!

Here's my sweet boy ready for the last day of school!

I asked him what he wanted to get his teacher as an end of the year gift, and he was very specific...'cut flowers and chocolate hearts.'  That's what we got her, as well as a pair of cool earrings :)

The morning started with Lower School Prize Day at 8:15am.  Every single boy gets recognized and receives some sort of award;  apparently it's a tradition.  Our school also gives each boy a book :).  I love when Tate walks into assemblies when I'm there....the looking around for me, the shy grin when he sees me and then the absolute joy of seeing his mother in the audience.  I could just scrunch him up and hug him all day when I see that face.

Tate and some of his buddies!

After the presentation it was time to head out!  A bunch of the boys were getting together at another boy's house to play until it was time for the end of year Kindergarten bowling party.  Initially we were going to take the boys to a playground, but the torrential rain and flooding from last week prevented that.  I wasn't up for hanging out at someone's house so much, so was going to drag Tate to Target with me.  However, another mom asked if Tate could come over and play for a bit...she wanted her son out of her hair so she could get some things done around the house, and it's much easier when there's someone for him to play with!!!  Woo to the Hoo for me...I dropped Tate off and headed to Target alone!  Bliss!

Raced back to pick Tate up and we headed over to the bowling alley for noon!  The boys had a blast bowling and we parents just got to hang out.

After an hour and a half of bowling it was time for the end of season baseball pool party!!  Yes we had more celebrating to do!!  We were off to one of Tate's teammates home!!  I could barely walk by this point.  Combining my exhaustion with Tate's tears and crying because I had forgotten his goggles, and I was just about done.  I will admit I didn't handle his crying and whining about the lack of goggles well...it was hot, uber sticky and the mosquitoes were out in full force.  He ended up getting in the pool finally, albeit while freezing because he refused to submerge himself in the water which would have kept him warm.  But we made it though!!!

Gathered around the 'championship' trophy!

With that, summer had officially started.  Tate and I headed home, along with D who we took to the party.  We watched his new 'Cars' movie which I gave him as an end of the school year present and headed off to bed.  

I have a first grader.