So Very Thankful!!

Tate did so very well on Friday.  My mother came over and spent the night with us on Thursday after having just returned from her 2 week Hawaiian cruise Wednesday night at midnight!  Have I mentioned how simply awesome she is?  We were up Friday morning at Tate's normal time of 545am.  I kept him in our room as I got ready and let him play a bit and do his favorite activity...reading books!  He is in LOVE with 'Green Eggs and Ham' these days.  (FYI...I love listening to him read out loud.  He actually does a fabulous job especially with his book 'Subway' his second favorite.  You can actually get the gist of the story by listening to him)

We were in the car on our way by 7am.  We arrived at the Surgical Center around 725am for our 730 appointment.  While Grandmommy read books and play with Tate, I filled out our paperwork.  He did start to get a bit grumpy;  this is a kid who has a huge bowl of cheerios, container of plain yogurt and an entire banana in addition to about 3 ounces of coconut milk every morning no later than 630, so this was quite a stretch for him.   He started going through my bags looking for a snack around 8am.  Lots of cuddles, books and song singing helped a bit.



At 820, the nurse came and took Tate and me back to the surgical suite.  The anesthesiologists and nursing staff were all so very warm, cheerful and kind.  Dr. B was in a great mood and since the case before us had cancelled or no-showed, he had time to tickle and play with Tate a bit which made me feel alot more at ease.  Once all the forms were signed I removed Tate's pajama top and put him in his Tasmanian Devil hospital gown and Nurse Lisa told me it was time for him to go.  I had been fine up until that point, but my heart just sank.  I gave my sweet boy a big hug and a kiss, told him I loved him and held him up for Lisa to gather into her arms.  And I missed him so much I ached.  But he went happily sucking on his sue-y and holding onto to his hippo.  And then I was fine.  The tears so close to the rim never spilled over as I felt this incredible peace come over me.  



I was back in the waiting room at 837 with my mom.  At 910 they came to get me to go be with my baby.  As we walked into the recovery room he was on his side covered in a warmed white blanket, his gorgeous eyelashes brushing his sweet cheeks.  His nurse was just rubbing his back and whispering into his ear, what I'll never know.  But I was so happy to see him being cared for by someone so very loving.  


As always, waking up from anesthesia is not the most pleasant of experiences.  I held him in my arms as he came around.  At first he was just whimpering, but he became a bit more vocal.  After going over all our post-op instructions we were on our way home by 940 with Grandmommy driving and me in the back with sweet Tate.

We took the rest of the day easy.  My mom stayed with him while I took his prescription to the pharmacy.  Poor  little guy was unable to walk initially from the caudal anesthesia utilized to numb him.  He simply did not understand that initially, but quickly took to crawling around once we were home.  The numbness blessedly lasted about 4 hours in his groin area though he was up and walking about 45 minutes after we returned home.  However, he did find it a hoot that he couldn't walk.

My mother left once I had Tate down for his nap.  I am eternally grateful for all she does for Tate and me, and to my father as well.  I know they were both extremely worried about this sweet boy of ours and the love and care they shower him as well as me with carries through those nights when I'm up alone with him as I was Friday evening around 1251am when he woke up crying because of his 'owie.'  I did give him a dose of Lortab when he went down for the night at 7am and gave him another dose when he woke then brought him into bed with me.  He slept fairly well the rest of the night waking around 530 ready to read 'Green Eggs and Ham' again, though complained about his owie quickly around 6.  During the days I gave him Ibuprofen which seemed to dull the pain quite a bit.  I am putting the neosporin-pain relief on his diaper in the area of his penis at each diaper change which seems to help.  And much to my surprise before I put him down for his nap both Friday and Saturday he asked to go potty on his potty chair and DID!  He hopped up both times after peeing screeching "Good Job Tate!"  Love it!!!

Saturday morning we had a pajama day, and it was just great!!  Just the two of us all morning (well and Vincent!).  We played, did laundry, chased each other, aggrieved the cat, read lots of books and had many a tickle fest and his favorite acrobatic activity of 'upside down baby.'  He napped well again, after peeing in his potty :) and we then ventured off to The Pumpkin Patch at the Nature Discovery Center here in town.  I was worried about putting him in the carseat and fastening the belt, but he didn't complain.  Though that pacifier was ever present this weekend along with his hippo, so how sad could he be?

We had a nice time at the Center.  It wasn't very crowded and the weather was perfect.  There was a moon walk obstacle course that of course Tate loved, loved, loved.  You would never know that a mere 24 hours earlier he was in the midst of a surgical procedure under general anesthesia!!  He painted a tombstone, rode yet another amusement park ride and walked through a mini pumpkin patch though he was not the least bit interested in bringing one home. 

Another uneventful evening though there some teary complaints about his owie at bedtime, so I gave him another dose of Lortab at 7; he awoke at 311am crying and crying about his owie.  My poor baby.  I gave him more Lortab because he was so sad.  He woke up at 625 in a great mood thank goodness.  We hung out at home and packed up our stuff to go spend tonight at my parents'.  (They are watching Tate for me tomorrow, as I'm uncomfortable sending him to daycare.  We have to lube up his diaper after every change to keep the area moist, so (1) he doesn't 'stick' to the diaper (2) right now with the neosporin it provides some pain relief.  We have to keep vaseline on it for 2 weeks after we stop the neosporin tomorrow.)  

So, we got here late this morning after a quick stop at Babies 'R Us for some new cute clothes for the little man.  We had lunch then took a 2 1/2 hour nap together!  I then did more Baby Tate shopping at Carter's while he hung out with Grandmommy and Papa.  He was in desperate need of winter cheap daycare clothes.  I refuse to send him in his cute, more expensive weekend clothes, because he comes home absolutely filthy from daycare.  Though that's a sign he's having a great time playing with his little friends.

So tonight I'm so thankful that my baby is sleeping soundly here at my parents' home.  They have lived in this house for about 6 years, so this isn't the house I grew up in.  I can't wait to show Tate the house I grew up in when he's old enough.  Sometimes I wish he could run around that old house of ours and maybe hear the laughter and fun that was left in the walls of that house.  

A new week starts tomorrow.  Off to work I go definitely not wanting to leave my sweet boy.  Though he'll be in great hands I'll miss him.  These 3 days together have been so wonderful.  I love these weekends when it's just the 2 of us so much.  Though I'm aware it makes for a very intense relationship between my son and me;  it's one I cherish.  As I held him tonight against my chest I was just overwhelmed with how very much I love being his mother, how much I love mothering this precious boy.  

Heart Pounding

I find myself here at work this afternoon heart pounding, with nerves a-flutter and very near tears.

Tate is having surgery tomorrow to remove some redundant tissue from the underside of his penis as well as to have his circumcision revised.  Actually the circumcision revision will take care of the redundant tissue/cyst whatever it's clinical name is.

General anesthesia.

Again.

As a medical professional I know general anesthesia, though carrying some risks, is relatively safe and that our anesthesiologist is a pediatric one and our pediatric surgeon is revered as one of the best in the country.

As a mother though I'm scared for my baby having to be put to sleep again.  Maybe I know too much, but I don't think it should be taken lightly.  And then there is my constant worry of 'Am I doing the right thing here?'  How long will he be uncomfortable or in pain?  How horrified is he going to be when they take him from me tomorrow to go back to the surgical suite alone?  How scared will he be when a group of strangers, one he has only met once takes him from the one person he has seen every single day of his life?  Please don't cry little boy.   Please little Tate.  The doc says he will treat him as his own, and I trust that to an extent, but he's not his own.  How upset will he be when we get home and he's hurting?  How will he understand that I really can't make it go away? 

Certainly I know on the scale of surgical procedures and outcomes I'm on the very, very good side.  I know that.  I'm grateful for that. 

But that doesn't make it any easier in this space and in this time.

I wish the procedure had been done 'better' the first time.  I wish I had been more proactive in my aftercare.  I wish, I wish, I wish...

My mom is coming with us, though she will probably be more nervous than me :)  But just the sheer making this decision alone is daunting.  And everyone perceives me as being this strong, confident, capable woman and mother, but I'm just a mess inside.  Full of worry and fear.  These are the times I desperately wish I had a partner in this child raising journey, someone to hold me when I'm scared, someone to talk this through with, someone to be as emotionally attached to  my child as I am who can reassure me 'WE are doing the right thing.'

But it's just me.  Just me and Tate ultimately. 

So tonight I will get on my knees and pray.  Pray that my loving God will guide the hands of his surgeon, that He will enable the anesthesiologist to make good and proper choices for Tate and to lift up the hearts and minds of  the nurses and all the other staff present in the room with my precious boy.  I'll pray that He'll be with Tate and with  me.  And I'll pray that when Tate is without me that God will wrap him up in His arms and keep him safe when I'm not there to do so myself. 

Excuse Me Guys

Excuse me guys.


That's what Tate says when he's cooking in his kitchen for his stuffed animals that he places in his chair next to his kitchen.  Once he's 'finished' making whatever 2 year olds make for their friends he moves them over to sit down with them all the while saying 'Excuse me guys' with his amazingly sweet little boy voice. I could listen to that voice all day long.

His new favorite book is 'Green Eggs and Ham.'  We have to read it every night, twice.  'More Green Eggs and Am?'  As we get to the end of the book when the Cat has decided to finally try the green eggs and ham I make this high pitch sound of 'AHHHHHHH' as in the sound of revelation.  Then Tate knows we are going to finish the book with bouncing and jumping around as the Cat has realized how 'so good so good' green eggs and ham are.  Tate LOVES this.


As we leave every morning he is sure to tell the cat to be good and watch the house, something I've always said to Vincent.  That voice just cracks me up.  As we go down the stairs, usually while counting each step...up to 15 now!...he will say 'Come on Tate' much like I used to do when I was rushing him to get out the door in a timely manner.   Now I have stopped that because I don't want him to always feel like I'm exasperated, but I'm gently reminded every day of my previous impatience.


His daycare uses the Abreka curriculum for teaching and he is thriving.  The song they sing for alphabet has him hooked.  I have to admit it's really catchy.  Alexander Alligator Alexander Alligator, A says aaa,  aaa...etc.  He loves Connie Cow, Dexter Donkey and Gomer Goat.  And he has really caught on to different letters outside of the song.  He now will say Mommy's name when we get to 'J'!  He also knows M is also for Mommy though that's not mentioned in the MMMs!!  And P is for Papa as well as L for Lindsey.  He's kind of getting G for Grandmommy, but I think the pronunciation of GR is a little confusing instead of the simple G.  


But my favorite is him knowing T is for Tate.  He'll be singing Timmy Tiger, Timmy Tiger T says ttt, ttt...etc.  Then he'll say 'T, Tate!  I love you Tate!'  OMG I thought I would fall over smiling and laughing the first time I heard him say that in the car.  Now every game or toy that he plays with that works on the alphabet ie his Scout laptop he adds 'T, Tate I love you Tate' when it gets to 'T'.  I love it!!


At night after we read stories we say prayers which he is sure to remind me if I 'forget'.  And now we have a small menagerie of stuffed animals with us...his Koala from his recent Build-a-Bear trip, his Corduroy bear  and his always present lovey, Hippo, oh and the sue-why...yes his pacifier....no idea how he came up with that but it's called a sue-why.  Anyway, I must pray with each animal then give them each a kiss as well as the pacifier then Tate gets his prayers and kisses which now include Eskimo kisses which I introduced him to this past weekend.  Last night he gently threw Koala and Corduroy off of me after prayers and kisses, saying 'Guys, guys, GUYS...Excuse me guys!'  Apparently they were taking up too much space on Mommy's lap.


I am so loving this age!!!


On an aside...we had a great weekend.  Swim lessons are still going great;  we go every Friday morning in a class of 4 for 30 minutes at Saint Street Swim and will continue to do so as long as we can.  We went to Gymboree on Saturday morning;  sometimes I have to force myself to take him because I'd just like to hang out at home, but he is always so excited to be there.  Saturday afternoon we headed out to watch Aunt Lindseys' soccer game;  she had gotten hurt in an earlier game, so we didn't get to see her play much, but Tate enjoyed being outside for a change with us.  Finally it has cooled off here!  Sunday it poured and poured, but I let him play out in the rain for just a bit...a first for him, not surprising considering that it hasn't rained here properly in months.  Sunday morning the church which 'sponsors' his daycare had asked the kids to come sing during the 9am service.  I was very disappointed to see how few of the parents brought their kids, but I was soooo proud of Tate.  He was such a big boy!!  He walked by me in the pews as requested and went up to the altar to perform.  And he did a great, great job!!  

 

  

So as we start this week, this Halloween month, this fall season, I am so fulfilled.  It just seems to me that in the past 2-3 weeks Tate and I have really come into our own.  We've really hit our stride as a family.  A family.  I don't think I ever really took to heart that he and I are a family.  And we are.  We have a life together that is so wonderful, so amazing.  It's one full of laughs, giggles, hugs, kisses, tears, joy, owies, glee, tickles, amazement, hope and most of all love.  We are love. And families are love. We are two lives living one life together.  Just the two of us.  No.  Not 'just' the two of us.  


THE two of us.

A Day at the County Fair!!

Tonight as I was rocking Tate before laying him in his crib I looked at his sweet face and said 'I had such a good time with you today sweet boy!'


And I did!!  I meant every single syllable.  I am so loving this age.  Loving it.  We went out just the two of us to the Fort Bend County Fair, and had a great time.  No meltdowns, no tears, no arguing (can 2 year olds argue?), just pure fun!!  It's so awesome to be able to communicate with my child.  When he wants something he can tell me...whether he always does is another story.  When he wanted to ride a ride a second time he told me.  When he was all done he could say all done.  When I told him it was the 'last time' he understood and didn't complain when he had to get off of a ride!!  We are a little team and I'm just loving it.  This little son of mine, my companion, my sweet little boy.  I almost cannot wait until he's in his 20s and we can be friends!!  :)

This was the Fort Bend County Fair out in Rosenberg very near where I grew up.  I was in the marching band, and the last time I was at this fair or maybe just the parade for the fair was in high school!!  (will not say how long ago that was!!!)  I decided to drive Tate out there this afternoon.  AND big news or milestone for us...I transferred him from the crib to the car in the middle of his nap!  Not an easy feat for several reasons, not including the fact that our bedroom is on the 3rd floor and I had to manuever around a whiny cat, and the plethora of toys Tate has strewn about on the second floor.  My next door neighbor is having some sort of very loud work being done on her house as well.  I put Tate down for his nap a little after noon.  I intended to catch his second sleep cycle and move him right before it, therefore being in the car and moving as he cycled through to the next 45 minutes (yes my child is like clockwork almost when he sleeps...he usually moves from the first 45 minutes to the next with no problems, but at least once a week he fully wakes after 45 minutes and I go lay down with him and he'll sleep over another hour!!) 

Anyway, I had the car packed and loaded, doors open.  The ride down to the fair is about 45 minutes, and I didn't want to go when he awakened because we would get home too late.  So I gathered him up in my arms, and gingerly walked down two flights of stairs.  He stirred a bit as I buckled him in, and then again as I shut my door, but we were golden after that!!  Woohoo!  He slept the entire way there!!  So I got my precious nap in for him!!

Once at the fair I changed his clothes (he naps in a onesie) and we were on our way in!  Got our tickets for the rides and oh my goodness what fun we had!!  I rode the first ride with him and another little girl...the teacup ride!!

After that ride he rode the rest by himself!!  They were all toddler safe and designed for them on their own!  This was his first time to ride a ride alone and he was not the least bit concerned, worried or scared!!  What an amazing boy I have!!

 

 

It was a fabulous day!  The weather here in Houston was amazing for a change.  Tate was in a great mood, and I was as well (after a rough start to my morning!  I'm doing the My Fit Foods 21 Day Challenge and this is day 2 and this sugar elimination is KILLING me.  I was beyond grumpy this morning, poor Tate.  I'm hungry, irritable and bah not enjoying the food as I'm a super picky eater!  But by the afternoon I seemed to get into the groove, and I'm so very excited!).  After a couple of hours we moseyed back to our car and began our drive back home.  We sang songs and relaxed.  Once home we had dinner together...he wasn't thrilled with my choice for his meal, and I wasn't thrilled with my My Fit Foods meal, but we persevered!!  He's sleeping the sleep of the angels!!  

Oh and did I mention he won a prize at the fair?!  Here he is with his new 'seal.'

I love my life!

A few videos of him on the rides!!!

My Little Conversationalist

Wow!  Tate is just talking up a storm!!  Every single day I'm amazed by all the new words that come out of  his mouth and almost always in the appropriate context.


My new favorite word to hear him say is 'mosquito.'  Last night he shrieked from in the living room amongst his toys 'There's a mosquito!'  From my perch in the bathroom (a whole other story about never peeing along at home anymore) 'Where?'   Eyes roll to the sky 'Right there!' pointing to everything and nothing.  I didn't even know he knew what a mosquito was.  He flapped his arms about trying to get it away from himself.  I had to stifle a giggle to see my sweet little 2 year old flailing about over a mosquito.  He brings me such joy.


Lindsey's best friend is Tiffany.  She and Tiffany meet over here pretty often to run around and do all the festive things those in their late 20s do :)  Tiffany drives a silver Honda Civic.  A few weeks ago she left her car in my garage while the two of them went out in Lindsey's car.  Tate and I got home from wherever we were and as we drove into the garage I pointed out that that was Aunt Tiffany's car.  Nothing special, no big deal.  I gave it no thought.


Sunday morning we were walking through a parking lot at the grocery store.  Tate's holding my hand taking in all the cars around him.  All of a sudden he pulls me to a stop and says 'Tiffany's car.'  I just couldn't fathom what he was saying...I look to my right and lo and behold there is a silver Honda right next to us.  How on earth did he remember that from one experience?  That she drives a silver Honda?  He amazes me.


I love when I play a song on the radio in the car and he pipes in from the back 'Don't like that one!'  Unless we're playing a Keith Urban, Sugarland or his ABC music from school he doesn't like that one.  He makes me laugh.


Now when I do something he doesn't find amusing he points a finger at me and says 'Stop Mom-my' and he'll try to bop me on the head if he can.  (the bopping will get him a time out)  If I'm singing to a song and I'm off key to him I'm told to stop.  If I'm reading a story he's not interested in I'm told to stop.   He keeps me on my toes.


And the clever wake up message!!  'MOOOMMMMYYY!!  Poops!'  'More poops Mommy!'  He knows this is sure to have me out of bed in seconds flat.  However, now that I've responded in record time to the dirty diaper he has determined it's the best way to get me moving in the morning.  Now more often than not he has no poops, but I'm never sure, so he gets to get up when he wants.  This does not make me happy.  We're working on the honesty thing.  He makes me shake my head.


When we're going somewhere and we're on our way down the stairs he'll say 'Come on Mommy.  Bye Cat.  Let's go Mommy!' as he traverses the stairs all on his own.  He loves going bye-bye.  He continues to surprise me.


From telling me 'More cheerios RIGHT there' as he points to the exact place in the bowl for more cereal to 'Put hippo in his spot' in the evenings (we put his lovey in a special spot on the side of the tub during bathtime.  To 'Where'd it/he/she go?' to 'Tate tvs' when he wants to watch videos of himself. He has me right where he wants me :)


And I love, love, love listening to him read books to himself or his animals (usually his hippo).  When I stop to really listen he is actually saying the words almost exactly right page by page.  Especially his Maisy's Pool book.  He even has my cadence down when he reads that book with the appropriate hand gestures and sounds!!  His favorite thing it seems when he's playing by himself is to read books out loud to his loveys and our cat.  He makes me beyond happy with his love of the written word.


And my all time favorite...'Good Job Tate!!'  The first time I heard him say it he had put his shoes on by himself for the first time albeit on the wrong feet.  It was just over a month ago, and he was SO proud of himself!!!  Then I hear this little voice say 'Good job Tate!  Yay Tate Tate!'  Absolutely priceless to me.


He brings me more joy than I thought possible.  This little boy of mine, just pure bliss.

Tate Meets His Godfather!!!

Friday, September 16th, Tate and I flew off to Atlanta, Georgia to meet his godfather, my dear friend from college, Roland.  Roland missed his baptism because his brother-in-law had a heart attack the day before he was supposed to fly over here for the ceremony. 


Roland and I met our freshman year of college at Southwestern University.  We were both science majors and spent many hours in lab over the course of 4 years.  However, I wouldn't say we were particularly close; certainly we were way more than acquaintances and studied together quite a bit, but as far as someone I would sit down and just hang out with, not so much.


We did have one very special mutual friend.  Jaysn Jameson.  Jaysn was a Pike, and I was Pike little sister, and he chose me to be his big sister (Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity).  Oh and I am also an ADPi (Alpha Delta Pi sorority!) :)  Roland had rushed Jaysn hard to become a Phi Delt, but Jaysn knew better and pledged Pike.  They remained close friends throughout our time at SU. 


Once we graduated, the year before Jaysn, Roland and I spent some time hanging out, but again not frequently.  We were both in Houston.  Once Jaysn graduated he moved to Freeport and started scuba diving.  In October 1991, Jaysn was on a dive with a friend and was caught in a severe undertow that pulled them too far from their dive boat.  They were found the following morning by the Coast Guard, but Jaysn had passed away overnight from exposure.


When I returned home from work that Thursday evening of Jaysn's death I had 6 messages on my answering machine.  Two from my father, one from Jaysn's girlfriend, one from another dear friend and 2 from Roland all begging me to call as soon as I got the message.  With a sinking heart, I knew something had happened to my dear Jaysn. I just had to decide who to have tell me.


I chose Roland.


From that day forward he has become the brother I always wanted.  He makes me laugh, he keeps me in check, he supports me, he lets me know when he thinks I'm making bad decisions, he loves my family,  my family loves him, his parents are fabulous (in fact they met Tate when he was about 6 months old!!  Before Roland did!!).  His wife has been so welcoming to me in allowing us to continue our friendship.  They have 2 beautiful children, and I've been traveling to visit them over the years since Roland moved away, met Sharon and had the kids.  It's a wonderful friendship.


So, when it came to choosing a godfather for Tate, it was something I didn't have to even think about.  There would be noone else but Roland.


We've been trying to plan a trip this past year, and this weekend was perfect as I had both Monday and Friday off.  So Tate and I packed, ok I packed, our bags to fly off to Georgia!  My parents drove us to the airport on Friday morning (they are so amazing!!!!)  Kisses were given, hugs all around, and Tate and I headed into the airport!  Just me and my little guy!!


Security was a breeze; shoes off, hippo/pacifier through scanner, Tate walked through to the TSA agent on his own and we got our stuff back with no problems.  We even wheeled our HEAVY Sunshine carseat through the airport with him strapped in...he thought that it was super cool to be in his carseat on the floor while it was wheeled around!!!

Lunch on the plane

We did some plane watching and a bit of running around.  Once we got on the teeny tiny plane I got the carseat in place (that is WORK!) and Tate situated.  I gave him his lunch while we sat at the gate..his favorite...chicken nuggets.  Then lo and behold he fell asleep as we waited to take off!!!!  Needless to say I nodded on and off while he slept.  I had planned it this way as we took off right before his naptime, but I was really worried he might not sleep.  And I'm super excited he didn't get motion sickness on either flight, going or coming.  I did however give him the benadryl as recommended by my ped to prevent vomiting due to air sickness.  

He woke up for about the last 30 minutes of the flight, but was in a really good mood!  We got off the plane last with minimal difficulty with the aforementioned monstrosity of a carseat :).  


Atlanta's International Airport is the busiest airport in the world.  And it's huge.  But Tate and I maneuvered with ease, changing his diaper once we landed, getting situated in the carseat on the Go-Go BabyZ and riding the train to the main terminal.

On the airport train!

And there was Uncle Roland to pick us up!!!  Yay!!


We got our luggage and stroller from baggage claim, and we were off!!  The weather was just fabulous.  Coming from temps over 100 STILL, the low 80s were a welcome respite.  We got everything loaded in the car, Tate strapped into his carseat and we were on our way.  


It had been planned that we would be going to Ian's (4 year old) t-ball game, but Sharon called as we were driving home to say he had a fever of 102, so that was going to be a no go.  And I cringed inwardly.  Fever of 102...just what I need to expose Tate to....a sick kid.  But what do you do?  I said a silent prayer that Ian would feel better quickly and that Tate would be so shy at first per his normal that he wouldn't really be that close to Ian this first evening.


We got to their lovely home and Sharon and Ava (7 year old) came out to greet us.  Hugs all around and our weekend began.  Ava was thrilled to play little mommy!

Hanging with Mama Ava!!!

It's always difficult for others to truly understand Tate's allergies.  I think people just don't think it could really be that big of a deal until they see how he has reacted in person or in pictures.  Sharon had graciously picked up some food items for us, so we were set for a few things.  The kids had dinner together and had a blast.  Tate surprised me and just took right to Ian and Ava!!  He was in heaven to have other kids around.  And he fell in love with their beautiful labs...Abby and Max.  He spent the weekend hugging both dogs and loving them!!

Tate does always have an extremely difficult time going to sleep the first time he is in a new place.  In addition Roland and Sharon had a toddler bed for him to sleep in as opposed to a pack 'n' play.  I really didn't anticipate that he would stay in a toddler bed much less fall asleep in it on his own.  We went upstairs around 7 to get ready for bed and do as much of our normal routine as possible, though this was a late start for him.  (I was also exhausted after a long day of travel).  He would not settle down.  We read stories, we rocked, we laid down together, I got frustrated, he got more antsy and it went on and on.  Finally, I texted Roland downstairs that he and Sharon should just go on to sleep because I was getting nowhere with Tate.  Finally, finally around 920pm he fell asleep in my arms laying on the bed.  I gingerly moved him to the toddler bed and he woke immediately.  I ended up putting him in bed with me and oh my it was a very long night.  He tossed and turned and kicked and poked me all night long.  In addition the bed was quite high and a double bed.  I was beyond worried he would fall out the entire night; in fact at one point I woke to him headed off the bed, thankfully feet first.  So, I was up every hour with him trying to get comfortable and worried sick he was going to get hurt.


615 am came very early Saturday morning.  Tate woke like he had slept for 12 long, peaceful, rejuvenating hours.  Me not so much.


We played in our room for a bit until a little tow haired girl came wandering in to play around 7am.  Ian was not far behind!  Our day began.  The kids had breakfast and played outside on the fabulous swingset Tate had been initiated into the night before.  The dogs were happy to have the company!  Later on, Sharon, Ava and Roland took the puppies for a walk, while I stayed behind with the boys.  Ian seemed no worse for the wear after his fever, so I let Tate join him in his parents' bed for a few minutes while Ian watched some little television program that Tate had no real interest in.  They were beyond cute together.

Later that morning Roland and I loaded up the kids and headed to a little art festival in downtown Roswell while Sharon finished packing to head off to Germany in the early afternoon for work.  The trip came up a few weeks after we planned my visit, and she was unable to get out of it :(.  We wandered around the festival, and after having some lunch, Tate was asleep in his stroller!!!  Yay!!  Sharon joined us for about an hour then she left for the airport.  Again, she is amazing and so generous to allow me to be part of her family.  I am very lucky Roland chose her to be his wife!!  She seems to really understand how important he is to me, this brother of mine I always wanted!

Ian and Ava played a bit longer;  Tate woke after about an hour and the kids made sand art, then we were off to the house.  The afternoon was just gorgeous, so the kids played outside for quite some time.  We then moved the festivities into the house to their basement which was almost like mecca for Tate.  The kids ran around and around and around...a fabulous time!  After dinner I took Tate upstairs at his normal time to start his bedtime routine.  We did bathtime, books, prayers and rocking just like here at home.  I rocked him a bit longer with the hopes that he would get really sleepy and I could put him in the toddler bed.  He had a bit of a time settling again, but this time I put him in the toddler bed awake, kissed him and told him good-night.  I turned on his sound machine and monitor and left the room around 715pm.  I tiptoed downstairs to eat some dinner with Roland whose kids were giving him a bit of a rough time.  Overtiredness had set in especially for little Ian.   

Not a peep did I hear from Tate.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  

I couldn't believe it.  About 20 minutes later I tiptoed back upstairs and looked in on him.  This is what I saw...

Success!!

Sound asleep!!  He went to sleep on his own in this cute little bed!!  I was soooo excited, yet cautiously optimistic that he would make it the entire night in there on his own!

I went back downstairs to finish dinner and within 45 minutes I told Roland I was just exhausted and that I hoped he wouldn't mind if I just went on to bed.  He completely understood and I was in bed at 830pm!!  Life is good!!!


Sunday morning Tate climbed out of his little bed and onto my bed around 545.  A little early, but I was so well rested!!!  That is the best part of going on vacation...I have no chores I need to do at night, so an early night is always possible!!  Love it!


After breakfast, we loaded the kids up again and we headed to the Georgia Aquarium.  

This. Place. Is. Amazing.  If you're in Atlanta you must go to this aquarium. It is fabulous!!    We were there right when it opened at 10am.  I enjoyed it just as much as the kids did!!  And to add to my joy Tate fell asleep for his nap around noon and slept until about 115!!  We all had a great great time!!

Petting the sting rays!

We then ventured to lunch at the always yummy Johnny Rockets.  After I made sure there was some egg free fare we found a table and the kids had a blast with their ketchup characters!! (our waiter was great with the kids)  Tate had his other favorite food...French Fries!!!  This after I inquired to be sure he could have a grilled chicken breast made he could eat.  He didn't touch it!  But he did discover ketchup!!  He had never had it before.  I think he has a new favorite food!!  (ketchup IS a food, isn't it?)
 



























We headed home to just enjoy hanging out.  Roland ran some errands while I stayed home with the kids.   Ian napped, and Ava and Tate played in the backyard.

After playtime inside and out (in the festive basement) we got the kiddos ready for bed.  Once again Tate did awesome and went to sleep by himself in the toddler bed after some books and rocking by Mommy! I was so proud of him, though I have no intention of converting his crib to a toddler bed until he tries to climb out of the crib...I like him being safe (and contained!)

Monday morning Tate and I were up and ready to be picked up by our car service at 630am.  Roland had to take the kids to school and get to work, so we were more than happy to let him have the time he needed to get all that new week stuff started.  We got to the airport with plenty of time to spare.  And once again Tate slept most of the way!!   This time as we landed he did look at me and say 'Ears Mama! Ears!'  But that was it; he didn't cry about it, and he moved on quickly to looking out the window.  Grandmommy and Papa picked us up and we were home by 11am;  plenty of time to enjoy the rest of our day!  Aunt Lindsey even came by that evening after work to welcome us home!


We had just a great, relaxing time in Atlanta.  Tate did amazingly well, minimal fussing and very few tears.  He just adored Ava, Ian and the puppies as well as his Uncle Roland and Aunt Sharon.  I'm so very thrilled that everything went so well.  It had been 4 years since I've seen them, and I've missed them, missed Roland and his funny quirks, his kidding around with me, his self-assuredness...his friendship in person.  He calls me every couple of weeks to check in, but it's not the same.  I'm so grateful we could spend some time in the same place.


This visit also solidified my choice to have Roland and Sharon as secondary guardians for Tate with my parents/Lindsey as my primary choice.  Obviously I'm keenly aware that life would be much different for Tate living in another state with non-family members and I pray this never happens, but if it did he will be well cared for and loved.  And though Roland is overwhelmed a bit when he has the kids on his own, he does it and does it well.   He reminds me a bit of myself when the kids are getting on his last nerve!!  :)  Single parenting is hard!!  But he loves his children; he loves his wife.  He's amazing with his mother and father who are just as kind and generous as he is.  And my parents love Roland as well.  He's one of the few friends I know that they truly care for and enjoy spending time with.  And though I fully realize noone will ever parent my child the way I would, I know he will be safe, cared for, educated, loved and happy .  Maybe not as happy as he would be with me, and my fervent prayer is that we never have to find this out.  I intend to be here for this little boy until he has children of his own for me to spoil!  Until then, I intend to make several more jaunts to Atlanta for him to hang with his Uncle Roland (and have them over here!  :)

Cuddles with Uncle Roland!

Dr. Maya Angelou AKA Aunt Lindsey did Tate's Bedtime Routine

Tonight Dr. Maya Angelou was in Houston for the Brilliant Lecture Series.  I got fabulous tickets for my parents and myself.  Our conversation with Maya Angelou started at 7pm.


7pm.  We had to be there at 7pm.  The conversation was set to begin at 7pm.


I'm usually rocking a sweet little boy named Tate after reading some bedtime stories at 7pm.


For the third time in his life someone else put Tate to bed for me.  And this time I was only able to spend about 5 minutes with my little guy after work.  My parents picked him for me (there was no reason for them to do so other than the fact that they LOVE being with their grandson) and took him to the park for a bit.  My sister, Lindsey came over to my place straight from work and according to my mother, told her "I've got Tate taken care of".  Lindsey loves her some Baby Tate, and I love her for it more than I did before he came into our lives if it's possible to love more. She got him dinner, set up the computer so he could watch his videos of himself and when I got home from work she was sitting beside him while he finished up his yogurt.


I had 30 minutes to change, put on some make-up and do my hair.  Tate barely acknowledged my presence when I got home so at ease was he with his grandparents and his favorite aunt.  By the time I was running back up the stairs with his hippo lovey which he had left in the car this morning, he was playing in the bathtub with Aunt Lindsey.  


I showed him where his hippo was in 'his place' by the tub and ran back down the stairs and off I went with my parents to St. Paul's Church.


I didn't say good-night to Tate.


I didn't say good-bye to Tate.


I didn't give a kiss to Tate.


I didn't say 'I love you' to Tate.


But I didn't even realize any of that until I was sitting in the church waiting for Dr. Angelou to come out.  I texted Lindsey to see how they were doing and she told me he was laying down in bed going to sleep already...this was around 710pm.


However, after she got him ready for bed, brushed his teeth and read him his stories, she got ready to rock him a bit before putting him in the crib.  She texted me that he looked around and asked for me.  That he got weepy and sad when he realized I wasn't there.  She said they 'hugged it out' and he was fine.  But it made my heart break.


I didn't tell him good-night.


I didn't tell him how much I love him.


I just ran out of the house.


As soon as I got home I ran upstairs to our room and just stroked his beautiful curls and whispered how much I love him.


I felt like a terrible mother.


He is the light of my life, how did I leave the house without assuring him I would be back?  


This little light of mine.  I know he knows I love him.  I know.  Tomorrow morning I'll hold him tighter and longer when he wakes up.  This little light of mine.


This little light of mine...that's how Dr. Angelou began her conversation with us tonight.  She says she wants her life to shine and be one of light and love for all those she meets.


I hope to carry some of her example with me as I continue this journey called life.  And I'm so blessed to have a little light walking around with me on this planet now.  My sweet Tate.  He certainly brings light to my life;  he truly lets his life shine.  The light of a child;  nothing is more precious.   Light and love.


Thank you Dr. Angelou for a evening full of light and love.