Saturday Tate asked to wash my car...free car washing? I was all over that. I anticipate that in about 10 years he'll be haggling with me to wash the car in exchange for driving it :)
Monday and Tuesday Tate went to a half day Lego camp and then Nanny S brought him home to play. Sadly Tate could not stand this camp...he's never disliked one of his camps, so I believe him when he said he didn't enjoy himself. We'll not be returning next summer.
Tuesday evening Nanny S and Tate picked me up from work and we headed off to the airport, as we had an early evening flight up to Virginia for my aunt's funeral the next day. Though traffic was awful we made it in time...of course it helped that our flight was delayed by 30 minutes! Lindsey met us at the airport for the flight.
The flight left around 745pm. Tate was sound asleep by 815 or so :) and slept the entire flight. He was even already in his pajamas when he and Nanny S met me at my office. My dad and mom picked us update late that night and drove us the 75 minutes into town. Tate fell back asleep immediately in the car.
Tate and I woke up at my aunt and uncle's (My aunt is Aunt Brenda's older sister) house where we had stayed with my mom. Lindsey and my dad stayed at my cousin Erik's house. We then all met at my Uncle Melville and Aunt Brenda's home to go to the church for the homegoing service. My parents rode in the limo with the siblings and Aunt Brenda's family. My aunt was a Delta Sigma Theta, so the unofficial 'colors' of the service were red and white.
A homegoing celebration. For my Aunt Brenda. Those words just do not go together.
We arrived at the church. The siblings and family assembled and then we processed into the church, down the aisle to say good-bye to Aunt Brenda one last time before they closed her casket. As we milled about outside in preparation for our walk we greeted family we haven't seen in years. The love and sorrow outside in the Virginia humid morning was palpable. So much love. So very much love. Then we made our way inside. As I walked down the aisle I was gripping Tate's hand with Lindsey gripping his other hand. Once in front of my dear Aunt Brenda I lifted Tate up so he could see her one last time and told him to tell her good-bye which my sweet boy did. I then placed him on the ground and leaned over to kiss her beautiful face and say my own good-bye. I was shocked by how cold her face was for my Aunt Brenda was the warmest person you'd ever met! She was full of life, love, joy and just breathed life. I was heartbroken and could barely see the aisle as we walked back out. My cousin Cheryl stopped me and said I could go back if I needed more time, and I said I didn't need more time, I just needed time to go back.
We, the family, gathered back outside. Brenda's husband, two children and two grandchildren went in first followed by her siblings. We were next right behind my Aunt Pam and her husband, my Uncle John. (how I love me some Aunt Pam) I love how when we were getting seated she switched places with Uncle John to be sitting next to me.
The service was amazingly beautiful. A testament to the love and joy Aunt Brenda brought to all who met her. The gospel music was amazing. The pastor was fantastic. The sorrow and love were so thick I felt like I was swimming in it.
And my Tate. He did so well. There were several little cousins present. My aunt's two grandchildren, one 6 one 13. Tate loves loves loves 6 year old Jalen and kept begging to go sit with Jalen in the front row during the ceremony; he just didn't understand why he couldn't. During one of the beautiful solos everyone, and I mean everyone was in tears including my Tate and sweet Jalen. They were both sobbing. God's love touched everyone through those words and melody, even our littlest people.
There were 3 other 6 year olds present, a 3 year old and a 2 year old. I must say they did just amazingly well....no interruptions. No crying. Certainly some wiggling and asking when it was going to be time to go, but for being in a warm church full of sadness for over 2 hours they did so very well. They were touched, blessed and full of the Holy Spirit.
We made our way to the cemetery to say our final good-bye under a sky so blue and clear you felt like God was just peering down on us smiling brightly because He was bringing one of His favorite daughters home.
Afterwards we made our way to the repass at my Uncle Melville's club. It was a time of fellowship, great food (catered by my Aunt Janice!), reflection and just the love of family.
This is when I know God loves us. That though all of our hearts are broken, He loves us. He brought us together from all over the country to be together as family. And how this family loves one another. How we love each other. And the friends of our family. We are so blessed. So many friends of my aunts who remembered me as a little girl who couldn't wait to come tell me hello and give me hugs. So many who I remembered from when I was 8 or 10 or 14 years of age. Just love.
God's love and family.
We arrived at the church. The siblings and family assembled and then we processed into the church, down the aisle to say good-bye to Aunt Brenda one last time before they closed her casket. As we milled about outside in preparation for our walk we greeted family we haven't seen in years. The love and sorrow outside in the Virginia humid morning was palpable. So much love. So very much love. Then we made our way inside. As I walked down the aisle I was gripping Tate's hand with Lindsey gripping his other hand. Once in front of my dear Aunt Brenda I lifted Tate up so he could see her one last time and told him to tell her good-bye which my sweet boy did. I then placed him on the ground and leaned over to kiss her beautiful face and say my own good-bye. I was shocked by how cold her face was for my Aunt Brenda was the warmest person you'd ever met! She was full of life, love, joy and just breathed life. I was heartbroken and could barely see the aisle as we walked back out. My cousin Cheryl stopped me and said I could go back if I needed more time, and I said I didn't need more time, I just needed time to go back.
We, the family, gathered back outside. Brenda's husband, two children and two grandchildren went in first followed by her siblings. We were next right behind my Aunt Pam and her husband, my Uncle John. (how I love me some Aunt Pam) I love how when we were getting seated she switched places with Uncle John to be sitting next to me.
The service was amazingly beautiful. A testament to the love and joy Aunt Brenda brought to all who met her. The gospel music was amazing. The pastor was fantastic. The sorrow and love were so thick I felt like I was swimming in it.
And my Tate. He did so well. There were several little cousins present. My aunt's two grandchildren, one 6 one 13. Tate loves loves loves 6 year old Jalen and kept begging to go sit with Jalen in the front row during the ceremony; he just didn't understand why he couldn't. During one of the beautiful solos everyone, and I mean everyone was in tears including my Tate and sweet Jalen. They were both sobbing. God's love touched everyone through those words and melody, even our littlest people.
There were 3 other 6 year olds present, a 3 year old and a 2 year old. I must say they did just amazingly well....no interruptions. No crying. Certainly some wiggling and asking when it was going to be time to go, but for being in a warm church full of sadness for over 2 hours they did so very well. They were touched, blessed and full of the Holy Spirit.
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| Tate and his cousin Kayla after the homegoing celebration. |
Afterwards we made our way to the repass at my Uncle Melville's club. It was a time of fellowship, great food (catered by my Aunt Janice!), reflection and just the love of family.
This is when I know God loves us. That though all of our hearts are broken, He loves us. He brought us together from all over the country to be together as family. And how this family loves one another. How we love each other. And the friends of our family. We are so blessed. So many friends of my aunts who remembered me as a little girl who couldn't wait to come tell me hello and give me hugs. So many who I remembered from when I was 8 or 10 or 14 years of age. Just love.
God's love and family.
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| All of the first cousins, minus only 3 (one had to leave early, two were unable to make the celebration) |
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| My dad and his remaining siblings. My dad is the oldest. L-R Aunt Jean, Aunt Janice, my sweet daddy, Uncle Cary, Aunt Pam |
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| The siblings and Uncle Melville |
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| First, second and third cousins!! |
Some outtakes of cousin love...
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| Amiya there in the red and white was the apple of Aunt Brenda's eye...her beloved granddaughter! |
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| And there's Jalen whom Aunt Brenda absolutely adored sitting next to Tate who adores him as well. |
Four years ago these little children were 2 years old (Tate was almost 2...his birthday was a week after the reunion). My aunt had a lovely collage of these 5 together hanging in our house...absolutely lovely. I just had to re-create it in her honor.
My dad with sweet Amiya. He asked for a picture with her! :)
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| I love how he loves her!! |
Amiya and her daddy, my Aunt Brenda's son Lander
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| The littlest of us... a new generation of love. |
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| Sweet Geneva :) named after my grandmother, Aunt Brenda's mommy. |
At Aunt Brenda and Uncle Melville's we relaxed and just sat for a few minutes. People started trickling back in. One of my mom's cousins came by to pay her respects and my mom was so happy to see her.
Food was delivered, ordered by a family friend and I just relished in the bosom of my family. I scavenged in Uncle Melville's pantry to try to find something suitable for Tate to eat. And I thought to myself 'This is what family does.' We feel free to root around in the pantry and refrigerator to find food and drink. We make it home no more than every other year, yet it feels like home. Family is home. As I sat down and watched my child laugh and have a blast, as I watched my dad miss his sister, as I saw my mom smile and my aunts, cousins and uncles laugh I thought this is what my life is about. Not about how much money I have, not about the exotic places I take Tate, not about whether or not my floor is vacuumed, but this. This love. This connection to our family.
Your family will love and miss you forever Aunt Brenda. We cannot wait to see you again!!
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