A Different Kind

Today was supposed to be a great day at Tate's daycare for him!  They were having a school wide Easter Egg Hunt and pizza was to be served for lunch!  I had to send him with his Easter basket and 12 eggs filled with goodies.  (Of course, the pediatric dentist in me filled our plastic eggs with stickers)  Afternoon snack was to be a cupcake, so I made a trip to Whole Foods yesterday to pick up a slice of vegan chocolate cake for my little egg-allergic little boy.


Now, all the teachers and the director are aware that Tate is allergic to eggs and citrus.  That he cannot have any product even made with egg and no oranges, lemons, grapefruit etc.  I ask them to remind parents if they're bringing a fruit salad for the kids to not include oranges.  (this rarely works...sigh) But his teacher is more than aware and always takes care with Tate.  


So, as they've had pizza delivered before we know that Tate can have Domino's Pizza as it is all egg free.  They told me earlier this week the children would be having pizza from Domino's.  There would be juice boxes, chips and cupcakes as well.  I always send a little individual milk box for Tate in place of the juice because (a) he is not allowed to drink juice and (b) many juices are citrus based.  As mentioned above I sent his little piece of cake as well.  I also opted to send a small (2 ounce) container of chopped up grapes in case he couldn't have the fruit salad.


Now, remember I'm a pediatric dentist.  I have breaks between patients, but not often and most often I run to the restroom and/or grab some water to drink.  Point being I don't have time to read email usually until lunchtime.  I have told the teachers/director before if there is an emergency to call my office directly as opposed to calling my cell which I do not keep with me in the operatory.


Today as I was leaving for lunch I noticed I had received an email from the director sent around 10:30am asking me if Tate could have pizza from Pizza Hut as the pizza from Dominos had gone up in price.  If he couldn't have the Pizza Hut pizza they would order one pizza from Dominos, so he could have some.  


I got this message at noon.  


The entire school eats lunch around 11:15/11:30.  


I was stricken.  I had no idea if pizza from Pizza Hut was safe for Tate.  I hoped they ordered him a special pizza.  The blood rushed from my head.  Just as I was trying to call the school, his teacher called me to say that the pizza had just been delivered and it was from Pizza Hut...could Tate have it?  They were running late from all the festivities, she said.  I told her I had no idea if he could have it;  someone needed to call Pizza Hut, be sure to talk to a manager and find out the ingredients.  We hung up, and I was just sick with worry.  I tried finding a Pizza Hut to call.  I finally got through.


Their sauce is made with eggs, as well as some of their dough.  But all the sauce is made with eggs.


I tried repeatedly to call the school and after 10 minutes finally got through.  His teacher and I brainstormed about what he could have for lunch...she was going to give him the grapes and Pop chips I had sent along with his milk, a yogurt they had in the fridge as well as some watermelon, grapes and strawberries from one of the fruit salads that was orange free.


His teacher, Ms. L, really came through for us.


So while everyone else was enjoying pizza Tate was noshing on fruits, yogurt and chips.


Poor little guy.


Meanwhile I was furious, frustrated, worried and teary.  Part of me wanted to run over and pick my sweet boy up, bring him back to the office with me and have him close to me the rest of the day.


And certainly not having a 'nutritious' lunch one day is by any stretch of the imagination a terrible thing.  In fact his lunch was quite healthy, and I'm not a 'he has to have meat' person, so I was fine with what he ate.  But thankfully I had sent those things and thankfully they had some extras.  Because otherwise someone would have had to go to the store etc.


But the bottom line is that I'm trusting them to keep my child safe.  They KNOW he is allergic to eggs and citrus.  I fired off an email to the director, trying to be calm but firm, nice but allowing my frustration and anger to be noticeable. (She had already left for the day, and I felt this needed to be addressed TODAY).


I mentioned that the school had been informed to call my office when they needed me.  I stated that I was extremely grateful that Ms. L called to check this out with me.  I mentioned I was not upset that he didn't have food, as he did, but that they should ensure that the food given was safe for every single child in the program.  I offered to pay the difference when they had to special order for Tate and that I would always send a lunch no matter what in case something like this happened again.  


And I think this sentence midway through my email caught her attention...


'Thankfully Ms. L called to check or Tate could have had a reaction at the minimum, died at the worst.'


Because she wrote me back and said she didn't realize the severity of eating a different kind of pizza.  She was very apologetic, refused my offer to pay for Tate because she loves to accommodate all the kiddos.


How could she not realize the severity of eating a different kind of pizza?  I'm flummoxed.


I'm just stunned.


I wrote back thanking her and then told her that maybe there would be something I can do to help educate both the teachers and parents at the daycare about the life threatening severity of food allergies. I mentioned that parents of kids with allergies as well as adults with food allergies are not picky, difficult eaters or overprotective parents.  I mentioned the sweet 8 year old little girl, with a known to the school peanut allergy, who died (without her mother present) just this year on the school playground from a piece of candy or something that ended up having peanuts in it offered to her by another student.  


Because no parent should have to run to meet their parents and her child at the ER and walk in and see her 17 month old look like this....

 or this

or this

This was Tate's reaction to a couple slices of orange.  My parents had the presence of mind to give him 12.5 mg of Benadryl and race him to the ER.  He then received a shot of epi to keep his airway clear.   


This is an allergic reaction to a food, folks.   


How can there be any question of the possible severity of his reaction to a different kind of anything?


We parents of children be it toddlers, school-age, teen-age or even adult age have to constantly have a little spot of worry in the back of our heads every day that we allow someone else to care for our children.  And certainly I'm aware that I cannot protect Tate from everything;  there are many, many dangers in this world.  But this danger is almost 100% preventable with a little knowledge, care and work.  My fellow SMC Barb  has a son with a peanut allergy.  I'm almost having a sort of de-ja-vu after reading her post Getting Noticed just yesterday.  It almost served as some sort of foreshadowing for me today.


I am still so grateful for God's blessing of having Tate's teacher be ever-so-watchful for me.  Whether she's indulging my 'over-protectiveness' or truly understands his plight I'm grateful.  


But believe me I'm going to work on figuring out some way to enlighten everyone at his daycare on the dangers of food allergies.  I think if they all see that picture of Tate they will understand.  


Because it's not about a different kind.