The Follower

It's so very interesting to watch my child play, especially when he doesn't know I can see him.  We were at a birthday party today at Pump It Up (sigh), and the party was a glow in the dark party, so Tate really couldn't see me.  But I could see him!

It was a small group, no more than 10 kids.  The birthday boy is in Tate's class at school;  he's one of the 'Fab Four' as the teachers call them along with Tate and two other little boys.  These boys are a unit of friendship and love.  It's really quite sweet to watch.

I've noticed though over the past couple of years that Tate is definitely a follower.  It was ever more evident today at the party.  The birthday boy ran around with everyone, which was nice to see, so Tate glommed on to the other boy from his class who was there. (the 4th didn't attend)  Everywhere K went Tate went.  If K was done on a bouncy, Tate was done with a bouncy.  If K wanted to sit down and rest, Tate wanted to sit down and rest.  Tate started coughing, as did K (I don't think this was copying :) ).  I walked over and suggested to Tate that he get a cup of water.  It wasn't until K's father suggested K get some water that Tate would agree.  

He did the same thing at the playground a couple of weeks ago...but this time he found some random kid to follow around.  It's cute at first, but it quickly can become annoying especially if the other child decides he just wants some space or wants to hang out with someone else.  Tate doesn't seem to get his feelings hurt, but doesn't grasp the concept of moving on to something else.  And my little guy has such a strong personality here at home with me;  he definitely knows his mind and is always trying to tell me what to do.  He'll ask to 'play trains' with me, and I'll sit down and he'll proceed to tell me how to move my trains on the track, which ones I can use etc etc.  So I'm just a bit baffled by his behavior amongst his peers.

I certainly don't see K as being bossy.  He's simply running around having fun.  He's not saying to Tate "Let's go play here;  I don't want to do that."  He simply moves on when he's done playing in a spot, and if Tate comes, great, if not, no biggie.  I have mentioned my concern to his teacher, and she has noticed it too.  She does try to help Tate take leadership roles in play, but we really don't want to interfere with their play because everyone is having fun.  So we've let it be.

So, I'm left wondering is this a problem?  He's going into kindergarten next year as a young 5 with a late July birthday.  I have no intention of 'red-shirting' him as I think he is more than intellectually ready for kindergarten as well as physically as he's a bit tall.  I'm constantly told by strangers about how well he speaks and I think that comes from spending so much time with adults being the only child of a single parent...we spend lots of time with my sister and parents.  He's an emerging reader and can do simple addition.  Another year of Pre-K will bore him silly.  And I was thinking he was socially ready.  Now I worry about how he'll do in a new environment, especially if I do send him to the all boys' private school because the majority of the boys who will be in kindergarten will have spent the previous two years together in Pre-K 3 and 4.  Tate would be the definite newbie along with maybe 5-8 others in total for the two kindergarten classes.  

Maybe I'm looking for a problem that doesn't really exist.  Maybe this is ok and will work itself out.  I know not everyone can be a leader nor wants to be a leader;  goodness knows that is me.  This is why I'm an associate in private practice as opposed to a practice owner...a lack of self-confidence and no desire whatsoever to be the buck stops here gal.  And it works for me...usually.

But Tate's a boy, a guy, growing into a man.  I kind of thought leadership came natural to boys.  Seems like I have lots to learn about men, huh.

In the meantime I'm going to relish in my sweet boy in all his goodness.  I got the best compliment about him today at the birthday party.  The little boy whose party it was actually turned 5 on Friday. His sweet mommy brought cupcakes for the class to school.  She was so kind and purchased the cupcakes from Crave, so that she could get a Vegan one for my Tate.  I was more than appreciative, as a couple of times parents have brought in cupcakes without letting the teachers know in advance, and Tate couldn't have anything :(.  He's always a trooper and has his own snack, but I as well as the teachers always feel bad.  

In any event, A's mom was awesome to do this and refused to let me get Tate his own separate cupcake and let her purchase the class's from somewhere else (as Crave is expensive at $3.50 per cupcake!).  She got them all from Crave.  Today she told me that when she got to the school after naptime with the cupcakes that my sweet sweet boy actually came over to her and said "Thank you so much A's mom for getting me a cupcake that I can eat."  (I love how the kids all call us parents in this manner...I'm Tate's mom!  As I walk in every night I hear "Hi Tate's mom!"  "Tate's mom... Tate is in the other room."  It's so endearing)

Anyway, she was so impressed by his good manners and that he went out of his way to come up and thank her.  It really left a lasting impression that he was so grateful.  

My sweet sweet boy.  I just love him.

After party lollipop!!  Life is GOOD!!!