I can't remember a time I didn't want to be a mother. I waited to meet the man who would love me forever and be a father to my children. At 39, he hadn't arrived. I knew I was meant to be someone's mom, so my life plan changed. At 41, I got pregnant on my first try with home insemination! Nine months later, my beautiful boy, Tate arrived! We've been together now for over a year. I'm happy, exhausted and in love. I wouldn't have my life as a choice mom any other way!
Tate is now 6 years old! 6!! Six blessed years I've had with this sweet soul. Every morning on July 23rd I wake up needing to pinch myself when I look down at his sweet face...he's here. He's really here. This child I get to mother. And I get so very excited. I get so happy to celebrate him! And me! :) I like to start the morning off with his favorite breakfast and a few presents. Yesterday was no different! I got everything set up and then he was up!! Best of all? As he came into the dining room he ran up to give me a huge hug before he went to look at his presents :)
He opened a couple of presents from me, his cousins Kayla and Korey and his Oma and Opa!
I had to work half a day (I took the afternoon off to spend it with my birthday boy.) Our plans were for me to pick him up then go for snocones then go to a park to play or hang out together! I dropped him off at camp which he loves and even better it was Splash Day! What a great way to celebrate a birthday!! As we walked into the cafeteria at camp all the counselors shouted out 'Happy Birthday Tate!' It was just so awesome! As always he was more than happy to stay!
I picked him up as soon as I got off at noon, and we headed....home! Yes home!! He was adamant that he didn't want a sno-cone or to go play anywhere but at home because he wanted to do his Flo's V8 Cafe lego set! So home is where we went off to where we spent a lovely afternoon just hanging out while he did his legos and I watched and just relaxed. We were together. And that's all that I wanted :)
He had that 500+ piece set done in 90 minutes! It was a really cool set too!! He played with it the entire afternoon. Then we were off to meet my parents, my sister, my nephew, his godmother and her two kids for a birthday dinner at the Chip Place!! Margaritas, chips & quest and lots of love! Yum-o!
The cousins wanted to make a silly face!
Look at that love!
After dinner we headed home for cupcakes and more present opening!
Lego set from Aunt Shelley!
So excited about the Submarine Lego set from Oma and Opa!
Loves the Lightning McQueen scooter from Mommy!
Suffice it to say all his gifts were a hit :) I love seeing him so excited! Lots of hugs and love later and it was time to go to sleep.
Well it's the night before Tate's 6th birthday! He was almost as excited about his birthday night as he was his actual birthday. We always count down 'sleeps' when coming up to big events, so on Monday we had three sleeps before his birthday (according to my math :) ). He said nope! We have two sleeps left and then it's my birthday night. He's likening the night before his birthday to Christmas Eve minus the Christmas Eve pajama present opening :). I love this boy! So it's the night before all my dreams came true. The night before I got my life-long wish...to be a mother. Tonight I'm so tired and so exhausted I can't come up with the words I need to express how grateful I am for this little boy in my life, how very much I love him. So I just went back over the last 6 celebrations of his life to calm me and remind me that no matter what's on my to do list, what I'm worrying about or how I'm feeling he's all that matters. His happiness, my happiness, our happiness together. Our family.
July 23, 2009
July 23, 2010
July 23, 2011
July 23, 2012
July 23, 2013
July 23, 2014
Time to go join my sweet almost 6 year old for the birthday night!!!
Sunday started off quietly. We didn't make it to church; we ended up having a Mommy/Tate pj day. I desperately needed the down time after my festive start to the holiday weekend! Plus I love hanging out with my boy. In the afternoon I sent him outside to play and told him to go knock on the neighbor's door to see if the kids could come out and play! He did and they did! I was so happy...this was the quintessential summer I want for him. Go outside and play! Find some kids and play! I piddled around the house and kept the windows open so I could keep an ear and eye on him.
I just love this video! I love summer! I love the idea of being 5 again!!! Monday morning brought soccer camp for my sweet boy!! Even better I was off...Monday was my 4th of July holiday :). I took him to camp and headed off to a doctor's appointment across town. Made it back in time to see some of the camp goings-ons! He seemed to have a blast!!
Pre-camp smiles :)
Post camp smiles and sweat :)
We hung out for the afternoon and then I took him to swim lessons. I haven't been to his swim lessons since last summer!! My parents took him during the school year, and Nanny S has been doing it during the summer when they can't. So I was thrilled to be able to see how far he's come in the past year! He's learning the breast stroke and his back stroke is amazing! His free style is a bit 'free', or at least it was today. But he's doing so very well. Did I mention his backstroke is gorgeous??
Then we went to one of favorite restaurants for an early dinner...The French Fry Place!!!
Tuesday Nanny S arrived bright and early to stay with Tate until it was time to go to Soccer Camp. I went off to work. Apparently the day was another success for my sweet soccer player! They were supposed to wear their favorite team's jersey; we don't have one, so he wore a Texas jersey :)
That's him in all blue!!
After soccer I got to have lunch with him!! I'm loving summer even though I'm working all the time! The lunch dates are just awesome :)
Tate and his beloved Nanny S! :)
Love them!!
Soccer Summer Camp Day Three! They were supposed to dress as a leader; we didn't have any 'leader' type outfits, so he wore his Conductor's cap since the conductor is the leader of the train! Tate came home with the 'High Five' ribbon for leadership! He knew the answer to the trivia question, Who was the all-time leading international scorer for women - Abby Wambash, he even wrote it down! But I think he was too shy to answer!
Thursday was wear red, white and blue day! WooHoo! For today's trivia question, Who is the oldest player in the Women's World Cup?, he remembered and got the High Five ribbon for saying the answer first... Christine Rampone!
Friday I got to take him. I was surprised by how confident and self-assured he was. He could barely be bothered to tell me good-bye. Today was World Cup Finals Day! Tate was on Team Sweden! I dropped him off and drove off to yet another doctor's appointment. I got back in time to see Tate getting his ribbons, certificate and festive water bottle! As we were leaving camp, he told me (without me asking) "I had so much fun Mommy, this was great." He was so proud that his team, Team Sweden, came in second in their World Cup!
I was so happy to hear him say how much fun he had. I was worried we were doing too many different camps, but he has accepted the changes and differences with great ease! Such a sweet boy. He's even ready for a new camp next week!
He got three High Five ribbons today! One for the trivia question answer, one for champion dribbler and one for champion passer!! So happy for him!
Nanny S kept him while I ran to yet another appointment Friday afternoon, then I return home for Game/Movie Night which is really pizza and movie night these days :) But still fun for us!
Today, Saturday, we had another pajama day. It's been an extremely emotional week for me...from trying to figure out what might be wrong with me (so far everything has come back normal, thank goodness) to a huge loss for my family. A loss I cannot quite even bring myself to write about. A loss in my family that has me in so much shock, so very angry and so, so very hurt.
My dear Aunt Brenda is gone. She's gone. Just poof. It really seems like a magic trick. Poof! Here one minute, gone the next. How on earth does this happen? Seriously, how does it happen?
She had Stage 4 breast cancer about 5-6 years ago; she was in remission. She was fine. Absolutely fine. We stayed with her in April, Tate, Christian and me, when we went up for my parents' 50th anniversary party. We always stay at Aunt Brenda and Uncle Melville's house. Their house is 'the' house for everything. Aunt Brenda was full of life, love, laughs, hugs, she was the glue that kept our extended family going...she was Mother Earth, she was everyone's Mama.
She was tired while we were there in April; she took naps seemingly every day. She told me she was tired. I just closed the door and entertained her grandson and my son while she slept. But she cooked for us, she loved on us. She even chastised me for bringing my own groceries because she remembered what we liked she said....I think it even hurt her feelings that I did that, I just so didn't want to put her out anymore than we already were. In any event, she cooked our meals and took care of us. She's always taken care of us. We didn't get to spend much time together because I was so focused on spending time with Christian, but thank God, thank God that on the Monday night before I left I spent the evening downstairs on the couch with her watching the events in Baltimore unfold. We talked and sat close. Never imagining this would be the last time we'd be together.
The very last time.
Tate and I left early the next morning.
I will never see her again on this earth.
In mid-June she was diagnosed with Stage 4 liver cancer. She was hospitalized for dehydration, her chemo was started 10 days before it was supposed to. She had two rounds and went home.
Wednesday night she went to the ER in excruciating pain; we were unaware down here in Texas. Thursday morning my cousin, her daughter, called almost hysterical to say my aunt had seen her doctor who gave my beloved Aunt Brenda, who was in complete liver failure, mere hours, possibly a few days, to live. It was 7am Thursday morning.
We knew we had to get my dad up there. We got him and my mom a flight out of Houston at 3:20 connecting in Charlotte with a 9:30 take-off time from there.
Aunt Brenda passed away around 8:30pm.
My dad didn't make it to say good-bye to his much loved sister. He was stuck in an airport awaiting a canceled flight with no accommodations being made for said canceled flight.
This has been a nightmare.
He and my mom drove up from Charlotte on Friday.
Just like that, she's gone. Gone. Seemingly overnight. Just plucked off the earth. And I know she's with my grandma and grandpa. I know they are so very glad to have her with them. She, my Uncle Wade, my Uncle Ronnie, and Aunt Kathryn are hugging and dancing and having a grand ole time. And I know she aches to know how much we are hurting down here, but I know she's no longer in pain, she's no longer scared and she knows how very much she's loved.
I just cannot believe she is gone. Just like that. I know God needed her home now. I won't know until I'm home why, and I certainly don't have to like it. I cannot fathom why He needs her more than we do. I'm praying for the peace that passes all understanding. Praying for it for me, my daddy, my family, her children and her husband.
