Tate's Birth Story - Part II of Several :)

Email!  Who would have thought 30 years ago that you could send a message to someone halfway around the world and have them receive it almost instantaneously?   And as quickly as they received it they could respond?  Whereas previously starting and building a relationship with someone 5000 miles apart meant ridiculously expensive phone calls, handwritten letters at the mercy of international post offices in 2 different countries and navigating a huge time difference, now communication seemed almost magical.

And that's how Christian and I connected.  I hemmed and hawed about whether I should email  him upon my return, but I finally did about 2 weeks after I returned.  I was thrilled when he emailed me back the very same day. 

In the meantime, Christmas came and went and before I knew it, January 2008 was upon us.  I had my first appointment with an RE (which at the time I didn't even know she had a specific 'title';  shows how very little thinking I gave this whole becoming a mom on my own thing!).  I did the Clomid Challenge and got the go-ahead to get started.  I needed to choose a donor and simply decide when I wanted to start.  For myself personally I wanted to save a bit more money and lose a bit of weight, so I decided I would start that summer.

Meanwhile, Christian and I continued to communicate, usually via email with a couple of phone conversations every once in a while.  And we were both open, giving and honest about our lives,our families, our hopes and dreams, everything with one another.  As such I had mentioned to him my desire to become a mother, a single mother.  He was so very excited for me and so supportive.  I mentioned using an anonymous donor and my excitement and nervousness as I perused profiles from the California Cryobank.  As the weeks and months rolled by that winter and spring of 2008 many of my emails made mention of my excitement about becoming a mother, my hope and dreams for my child as well as my nervousness and concerns about being a single mother by choice.  Going back and reading those emails, my absolute joy and happiness in becoming a mother just emanates off the pages.  And Christian's support and happiness for me is just as present.

Then in late May, Christian mentioned in the middle of a lovely, chatty email that if I hadn't already chosen a donor that he would be happy 'to help out if I lacked some DNA'.

And boom!  There it was!  I had never considered a known donor, and it had never crossed my mind to even think of asking him or any other man in my life to donate for me.  Yet, 3 days later I responded to his email to say yes I would love to consider his offer.

From then on it was a whirlwind.  We talked.  We emailed.  We took time to think independent of one another.  What did he want out of this?  What did I expect from him?  What did I not want of him?  Why would he do this?  Why would I let him do this?  And most important, how would this child-to-be be affected?

What I am as sure of today as I was then is that this child would be loved.  By both of us.  He would be wanted.  By both of us.  Though this child would live thousands of miles from his biological father, they would be connected.  Though I wasn't sure what I wanted this connection to be, nor did I know what I wanted it to be I realized I wanted this child of mine to have some sort of connection to his/her father.

I said yes.  Yes.  After lots of prayer, more talking/emailing, speaking with attorneys on my part, talking to a few friends, more prayer and more talking with Christian I decided yes.  I decided to have Christian be Tate's father.  

Because more love is always good.  More people out there on this HUGE planet caring about you and loving you is a very good thing.   And I loved Christian by now and he loved me.  Our friendship, though new and only via email and phone calls, was strong and so uplifting.  We had become connected in some amazing way. And though I knew he would not be able to be a present father in my child's life, nor did I want him to be, I knew this was the right choice for me and my future child.  He loved this child to come, even said so himself in one of his many emails.  He was already so in love with this baby.  Almost as much it seemed as I already was.  It seemed that this choice, for him, would bring him some sort of peace in his world.  As I read through some of his many emails I can feel his excitement as he talked about how cute 'our' baby would be, what a great mother he believed I would be and in the next sentence he would muse about how hard it would be for him to be so far away knowing someone with his DNA was crawling around without him being able to watch him/her grow up.  And we both worried that we were making a huge mistake, because our choices would affect this child in ways we knew we couldn't even imagine.

By this time I had already said yes.  Yes, come donate for me.  Let's take this leap of faith and you help me make a baby.  So, that late June of 2008 we decided to look for flights to get him to Houston that August.  We were going forward.  There was only one real glitch...the RE I had seen in January was summarily unwilling to work with someone with a known donor.  Though I assured them I had hired an attorney and that Christian was going to be terminating his rights at the birth of this and any child(ren), and I took full legal responsibility, they said no.  They would not help me reach my dream of being a mother.  I was in shock.  Upset to say the least.  But I persevered.  I spoke to my regular ob and she referred me to another clinic.  And they were fantastic.  Just fantastic.  

Christian's flight was booked.  I put in for a bit of vacation time.  Doctor's appointments were set for the week.  Attorney appointments were made.  I started tracking my cycle, taking my basal temperature and reading anything and everything I could get my hands on about becoming a single mother by choice.  And I waited for the end of August to come.  Anxiously.  Nervously.  On pins and needles.

For Christian and I had spent 12 hours together.  One half of one day in Cairns, Australia.  While on vacation.  Who isn't their best self when you are in an amazing country, sun-kissed, relaxed and happy?  What did we really know of being in the same space together?  We are of two completely and totally different countries and lifestyles.  He was born in Eastern Germany.  I was born in the always free United States of America.   He's a boy.  I'm a girl.

When I saw him again for the first time as he came out of the Customs Department at IAH all my worries drifted away.  That smile and that amazing hug when we saw each other again.  

This child to come was going to be blessed beyond measure.  

The Way We Were

I always had in my mind the kind of mother I would be.  I don't know if I've lived up to my own hype, but I'm the kind of mother Tate needs me to be....most of the time.

I also always had in my mind the way we would be with our friends, my friends.  Kind of, or actually very much, like the way my sister, Kellie and I were with our parents' friends.  I have such vivid memories of playing in the Penn's basement with their three kids...2 girls and a boy and the Harts' kids...a boy and a girl.  Our parents would get together regularly (way too regularly for us kids' liking) to play cards...Pinochle is the one I always remember hearing about.  To this day, I can hear the shuffling of the cards, the laughter of our young parents, the music Lou Rawls or The Commodores drifting over the yelling, laughing and footsteps running up the stairs of us 7 kids.  So. Much. Fun.  Looking back, it was an amazing time in my life.  The simple joy of being a child.  This was before all the organized sports, the tutoring, the running around trying to be the best.  A time when kids were kids.  And kids were seen and heard.  Yet, we knew to settle our squabbles amongst ourselves.  We knew to play nice.  We knew leaving someone out would get ALL of us in trouble.  We may not have been friends who chose to be friends, but we were friends.  Better friends than we even knew at the time.  Today, our parents are all still amazingly close.  Though the three couples are spread across the country...Baltimore, St. Louis and Houston, they still chat and laugh together regularly.  The other two couples have flown down here to celebrate special wedding anniversaries with my parents, and my parents have flown to each of their celebrations.  How special and wonderful is their bond.  

We kids have not kept in touch.   We lost one of us though, several years ago, very shortly after the birth of her child.  I remember Gail's huge, huge smile, her sweet shyness and her awe of her big brother.  Her daughter is 14 almost 15 now.  And I still cannot fathom that Gail is not on this planet anymore.  She was such a part of my early childhood.  Those memories....

I want Tate to have these kinds of memories.  To have these kind of experiences.  But this is a different time, a different world.  It seems like getting together with families is hard, so very hard.  Everyone is always pulled in a million different directions.  Both husbands and wives work, so weekend time with the family is precious.  It's hard to envision spending every Friday or Saturday night with others;  these times are for family.  But see,  those friends in Baltimore were our family.

So now we get together, just every now and then.  Emails have to go out weeks in advance for everyone to put the date and time on their calendars.  And even then we can't all make it.  Our urban tribe is just so very busy....from other kids' birthday parties to soccer games and baseball tournaments...busy, busy, busy.  But back then, these friends were family you see.  Other kids' birthday parties could be missed and what soccer games?  There were no soccer games.  You played soccer on the street or in your front yard with your neighbors.

Last Saturday, Bryan called the tribe together to ostensibly watch the A&M/Florida football game.  Those of us with kids were invited to bring them to stash them in the pool while the kidless enjoyed A&M's first adventure in the SEC (whatever that means!)

Our tribe was mostly complete.  And for a moment in time my baby experienced the joy of family friendship, for this tribe, this urban tribe is my family here in town.  

Lindsey joined us this weekend.  She graciously offered to be in the pool with Tate for me.  My little boy jumped and jumped into the pool over and over again!  For the first time!  From quite a distance!  He had to be just like the other kids of course!!

Then about 5 of the kids (including Tate) decided to jump in together, holding hands.  Oh. What. Fun.  I loved seeing the joy on their faces.  And I loved seeing them work together, the 2 older kids (all of 6 years old) watching out to be sure the younger kids (two 3 year olds and a 4 year old!) made it in safely, the littler ones so excited to be part of something with the older ones.  It was a fantastic day.  Tate and I both had a great time.  And he left with a crush on his new friend, Sammi.  Six year old Sammi along with her parents and older brother and younger sister just moved back to Houston after about 5 years living abroad.  And Tate was more than taken with her.  She's all I've heard about for the past week.  She's the lovely girl in the pink swimsuit HOLDING HIS HAND!  :)  Towards the end of the afternoon, I let Tate play in the pool for just a few minutes by himself!!  Well, the other kids were in there with him, but there was no other adult.  I was so very proud of Tate.  He played and splashed a bit.  For a minute there he swam out away from the steps and couldn't quite make it back.  I asked Sammi to grab his arm and pull him in....HEROIC in Tate's mind apparently!!

6 year old Noah on the right and
 4 year old Celia making sure 3 year old Isla is ready!

JUMP!!

As I sat under the umbrella with  Nikki watching our precious children, I thought to myself that this is what I envisioned raising my child(ren) amidst.  Laughter, yelling and splashing in the pool with family friends.  The friends who last a lifetime.  The ones who will celebrate anniversaries for years to come.  Nikki felt it too, I think, for she reached out her hand for mind.  I grabbed hold of her hand and I could almost hear the music of Lou Rawls wafting over me.

Tate's Birth Story, Part I of Many

In my mind, Tate's birth story started Thursday, November 29, 2007 in Cairns, Australia (The Great Barrier Reef).

I turned 40 on August 25, 2007.  My gift to myself was a 2 week trip to Australia.  My whole life I have wanted to go to 2 places...Greece and Australia.  I had made one dream come true November 2005 when I went to Athens while visiting one of my best friends who was living in Berlin at the time. And this trip to Australia came only 2 years later.

My first day in Sydney.....

Lunch at Circular Quay overlooking the famed
 Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbor Bridge.
And yep!  I climbed to the top of the Sydney Harbor Bridge
later that week!  AMAZING!!!

I went by myself;  by this time I had traveled quite a bit internationally alone, but never for such a long period of time.  But no matter;  I wanted to go and I was intent on going.  I flew to Sydney via Los Angeles, leaving Houston late Friday afternoon, November 16 arriving in Sydney on Sunday, November 18 at noon.  A few years prior I had met a woman named Sue from Sydney while traveling to London from Paris with my friend Victor.  The three of us had stayed in contact, and once I decided on this trip I let her know I was coming.  She graciously offered to pick me up from the airport and show me around her city when she wasn't busy with work.  (I did not stay with her)  I stayed in Sydney that Sunday through Friday.  Friday, Sue drove us up to her hometown of Mudgee, a gorgeous quaint little town in the countryside of Australia and we returned to Sydney on Sunday evening.  I flew out to Cairns on Monday morning to have my dream of going to the Great Barrier Reef come true.  I did make it out to the Reef that Wednesday, and that day deserves a post all of its own...absolutely breathtaking.

Thursday, I had signed up for a tour of the Daintree Rainforest along with a woman I had met on Tuesday from California named Tammy.  It was to be a Jeep Safari tour of the Daintree Rainforest and Cape Tribulation.

My hotel was the first pick-up for the tour.  I ensconced myself in the front seat.  Tammy was picked up by the 3rd or 4th pick up.  And on the 6th pick up, two guys got on the jeep/bus.  This really tall hot guy, with dark brown hair and blue eyes got on first, followed by a shorter, younger guy.

The really tall hot guy who took my breath away was Christian.

The jeep ride to our first stop was about 30-45 minutes, and I sat up front tongue lolling about.  For whatever reason, Tammy had not sat beside me when she got on the bus; I think she didn't see me.  In any event, she was in the back of the jeep WITH CHRISTIAN!

Our tour began with a ride down the Daintree River complete with crocodiles and snakes.  At some point the four of us introduced ourselves and from that point on we kind of spent the day together.  I would come to find out later on that Christian had taken a picture of me on purpose because he thought I was so cool and pretty.  He said at first I noticed, so I tried to move out of what I perceived to be a landscape shot, but he tweaked the camera and got my picture without me knowing :)  It was a gorgeous, gorgeous day, an amazing adventure and just so much fun.

See the nasty snake up there?!!  EEEWWW!!

Crocodile!!!

Yep!  That's Christian in front of me!  Great view ;)

Feeding the kangaroos!! 

Cape Tribulation Beach

And that's Flat Tom with Raik and Christian!
My friend's son asked me to take his Flat Tom with me.
His Flat Tom 'won' as being the one who traveled
the furthest that Thanksgiving.

On the way back to our respective hotels in the jeep as we sat there all trying to keep our eyes open, I mustered the courage to ask Christian and Raik (the cute, younger guy who I had to yet to figure out was Christian's partner!!!) to join Tammi and I for dinner that evening.  She and I had planned to go out for dinner previously, so I thought it'd be great to have the guys come along.  And they did!!

Christian and Raik met me at my hotel a bit before Tammi arrived after we all went home for quick naps and showers.  We wandered around the block waiting for Tammi for a bit then we headed out for dinner and drinks.

As we wandered around Cairns, the four of us, the night air blew gentle breezes amongst us.  It was warm and humid, but a languorous humid, one that beckons laughter and meandering about as new friends are made.  Christian and I talked and laughed together as Tammi and Raik followed slowly behind us engaged in the conversations of new friends.

As the night wound down, we drank last glasses of wine and beer and exchanged email addresses.  I was heading back to Sydney the following morning, Tammi had a day left in Cairns and Raik and Christian had the weekend left before they headed off to Brisbane.  They walked me back to my hotel and we said our good-byes.  Christian enveloped me in an amazing hug;  though I then thought it would be my first AND last hug it was to actually be the first of many amazing hugs.

I was back in the states that Sunday after spending Friday and Saturday in Sydney, hanging out with Sue a bit and enjoying my last days in that amazing country.

Once home, I knew I wanted to email Christian.  I wanted to reach out to this man who touched me in such a profound way, ways I can't even express.  So I did.  I emailed him.

And he emailed me back.

Thus a friendship was formed.

Oh and I didn't figure out he was gay until I'd been back in the states a couple of weeks.  

But it didn't matter.  Though I knew there would be no romantic relationship, I knew this man was going to be very important to me and that our relationship would be part of my life always.

New friends out for a night on the town in Cairns, Australia!!

The One He's Always Known

I am the one person on this earth who Tate has always known.  

I read similar words tonight in Kelle Hampton's blog "Enjoying the Small Things" where she wrote about her second daughter's birth.  She mused about nursing her sweet baby, and how her baby immediately snuggled into the body of her mother, 'the only one she's ever known.'

And truer words have never been spoken.  In this picture of me below I am 7 days pregnant.  It was taken on October 31, 2008.  On October 24, 2008, I did my first home insemination.  Christian has always said he believes with all his heart that I got pregnant that first night.  And with my whole heart I believe it to be true as well.  This picture is the first picture of Tate and me, together.  He's there inside me, the only person he'd ever known at that point. 

And I was the only person he knew until July 23, 2009.

Amazing, isn't it?  From the moment of conception to this moment right now on September 11, 2012 at 10:06pm I am the only person Tate has always known.  Always.

Tonight he was having difficulty falling asleep.  I saw him on the video monitor tossing and turning, twirling his hippo lovey in his hands in the air as he always does to relax, going from stomach to back to stomach again, then his side.  He just couldn't settle.  No tears.  No angst.  No complaining.  Just restless.  After an hour, I decided to go upstairs and help him fall asleep.  I do this when it's getting late, as I know just being in my arms for a few precious minutes will enable him to go right off to sleep.

Tonight was no different.  I gathered him out of the crib along with his hippo and Sue-Y bear, turned the lullaby music back on and settled into the rocker with him in my arms.  He laid there with his sweet head on my shoulder just looking at me with eyes laden with sleep.  Initially, I rocked him a bit.  He was still looking at me.

Then I stopped rocking.

I just sat there holding my sweet baby, my little boy.  

He was asleep within 2 minutes.

After all, he didn't need music.  He didn't need the white noise of the air purifier.  He didn't need rocking.  He didn't need any of those things to help him fall asleep.

He simply needed the warmth, safety, comfort and love of the one person he's always known.

Love On My Side

Where to start?  We've had such a fun weekend so far and we still have one more whole day to go!!  WooHoo!!

I'll get to this morning's festivities in a moment.  First I have to share what happened last night with my so very sweet boy.

We were sitting in the bathroom on the floor like we do every night after he gets out of the bathtub.  I have a huge towel laying on the floor on a terry cloth pillow each night.  He clamors out of the tub with me close by to catch him, but 'don't touch him! and let him do it!'.  He sits down and always says he's cold as part of our ritual and I throw one of his hooded towels over his head and shoulders!  I then sit down and gather him up in my arms to warm him up.  We stay like that a few minutes...the best part of our evenings together many a night :).  He then wriggles away and either tries to dip his fingers in the lotion or goes to get an overnight diaper because the one I picked out isn't right or something or other.  I lotion him up, get him dressed and he hops up to play while I gather his stuff and clean out the tub.  Many a night I just watch him gallivant around having fun for a few minutes.  

Last night he was running amok, just singing to himself while I sat there and watched.  And them BAM!  He ran amok into me, thrust his arms around my neck, buried his face in my neck, squeezed tightly and shouted

"I love you!"

And immediately scampered away to continue running amok.

Totally spontaneous.  Completely out of the blue.  100% of his own volition.

I almost cried.  This is the first time he's said I love you all on his own.  It was like he was simply overcome with how much he loved me and had to tell me Right. Then. And. There.

Oh how I love this little boy as well.

My night was pretty much perfect from then on out.

I woke up this morning to his sweet face climbing into bed with me to tell me "I had a good nighttime."  I so love when he says that, which is pretty much a daily morning occurrence.  

Thus began our morning's festivities.  We participated in the Houston FAAN Walk this morning at Herman Square at City Hall.  Our little Team Tate raised almost $800 for FAAN....so very proud and so very blessed to have such wonderful friends and family who support us and know how very important FAAN's work is.  The number of children and adults with life threatening food allergies is staggering, yet so many people just do not understand how dangerous food allergies are.

In any event, we were up and raring to go.  We ate breakfast, downed lots of water and awaited the rest of our team.  Aunt Lindsey, Grandmommy, Papa, Leo's mom (Christina) and Leo were all part of Team Tate.  Everyone arrived and we loaded up the car to go walk and have a great morning of playing and hanging out!

Team Tate!

The boys played in the bouncy houses,

 

danced, 

rode the slides, 

colored, 

met Darth Vadar (Tate was clueless, but not the least bit scared!  Leo was thrilled to meet him), 

danced some more

 and all around had the fun 3 year old BFFs should have!

Lindsey, meanwhile, had volunteered to work one of the booths during the event.  What a trooper she is and amazing aunt!!!  She had gotten up to run 11 miles starting at 5:30am and still made it to work the event!

 Then it was time for the 2 mile walk!  My mom stayed behind to man Lindsey's booth for her and the rest of our team was off.  Tate and Leo had the best seats in the house.  Lucky for us, a cold front came in this morning, so even though we didn't start walking until 10am (we had arrived at 8:15), the temperatures were only in the mid 80s and the humidity had dissipated a little.  A tiny bit.

 My 72 year old dad was great and pulled those boys more than half of the 2 mile walk.  Christina, Lindsey and I tried to do our part, but he did the majority of it!!  You rock Daddy!!

 Once back at the festivities the boys played some more and even got to meet one of our local celebrities...KPRC's news anchor, Dominique Sachse.  She so kindly agreed to let us take some pictures with her...

It was just a fantastic morning.  The kind of mornings I always anticipated having as a mother.  Watching my son hang out with his friends, seeing the joy children have that is so complete and so intense and real.  Walking and talking with my sister and new friend, Christina was so very nice.  It's so fabulous to be making new friends at this stage in my life, this stage called motherhood.  And though I'm 12 years older than Christina the very fact that our children are the same age almost makes those years disappear.  I anticipate this will be the case more often than not...Tate's friends' parents are most likely going to be much younger than me.  Should be very interesting.  But I'm up for the challenge!  I'm ready to rock the worlds of these young people :)

After all I've got love on my side.  Yep, my little boy loves me!

When Does It Stop?

Sometimes this single mother stuff is just hard.  It just is sometimes.  And I wonder it just must be so much easier to do this with a partner;  it has to be.  Right?

I've had 4 days off...so very lovely.   And Tate was a dream most of the weekend, if not all.  I mean he had his weepy moments but no meltdowns....absolute bliss.  But on Saturday I was absolutely exhausted.  I mean exhausted.  The entire day.  I felt like I was in a sleep deprived fog.  ( I do now attribute that to a taken too late in the evening on Friday Zyrtec)  I was miserable.  And that's when I started feeling sorry for myself.  

And I realized that noone, noone will ever worry about Tate like I do.  Noone will ever be or feel as responsible for him as I do.  Even when we're not together I'm the only one thinking about him constantly.  When I'm out and someone is babysitting I know I have to come home, and be the only one who will wake up with him in the morning.  And on the two nights we have spent apart I was up at 7:30 for good (with wake-ups continuously from 5:30am on) partly because I couldn't wait to see him again and mostly because I didn't want my parents to have to take care of him too terribly long in the mornings.

I just wonder when do I ever, ever get to stop worrying about my child?  When do I get to have someone else, just for 1 minute, share some of the millions of concerns I have floating in my head about raising this precious boy on this amazing Earth?  And I know worrying about your child for always and forever is not a fate of  the single parent only....all parents have that blessing.  But I mean I wish I had someone to share my worries with...from what school should I send him to to should we do the flu vaccine this year to does he have friends to is he being bullied to what color should we paint his room?  It's hard, really hard sometimes to be the go-to person all the time.  The buck always stops with me.  Oh I can talk to friends with kids and get their opinions, but they are not invested like me in Tate's well being.  They may love and care about him, but honestly where he should go to school is not of any real interest to them.  And my family is amazing, and they do 110% love this child with no abandon, but they will always, always defer to me.  And though they give their opinions they won't argue with me about my choices (do I really want them to?), but you get the point.  

This weighs on me heavily.  I love this little boy so much.  I cannot imagine my life without him.  And I want to much for him I can't even enumerate it.  And that much love, compassion, joy, passion, worrying and caring is exhausting.  

So, in the midst of all this worry and exhaustion I laid down with Tate on Saturday.  I put him in my bed around 12:45 and joined him at 1:15.  He woke up at 2:15;  I looked up at him groggily and told him to please play quietly.

HE DID!!!  He sat there on my bed reading books and playing with his trains.  Well I think that's what he did...I opened my eyes again around 2:45 and he was still sitting there happy as a clam.

Have I mentioned how much I love him?  I was in bed again that night in our room and asleep by 10pm.  He woke at his normal 6 Sunday morning and I thrust my phone at him to watch some Thomas while I snoozed for 45 minutes and this morning he slept (or didn't wake me) until 6:30!!

So tonight I'm still tired. And though I wish someone would walk up behind me right now and offer to take the trash to the curb, feed the cat, empty the litter box, make Tate's lunch, empty the dishwasher, load the dishwasher, brush my teeth, gather our stuff for tomorrow or simply rub my shoulders one quick time, I'll be ok.  

And I'll have it all done in 52 minutes.  

That's what we single mamas do.

The impossible.

All done with love.


  E.T.A.  All done!  Yep!!  In 42 minutes no less.  And I uploaded some Flip videos to both iPhoto and Flip Share, checked the mail, put on my pjs, wrapped my hair and said hi to my neighbor at the curb as we passed in the night.

Now I'm going to go check on my sleeping baby then crawl into bed myself.  I deserve it!

A Week of Firsts!

Tate moved up into the preschool class this past Monday!!  With much trepidation and anxiety on my part I will say.  

All summer long I was anticipating him going to another teacher's class, as I had been told at the beginning of the summer.  He along with his 3 best buds were supposed to be moving to Ms. R's class. I see her everyday when I pick Tate up and he's talked about her several times.  She's always so sweet and talkative with me, showing me all the work her kids were doing in her class.  I was excited for Tate to be in her class.

Well that was not to be.  The classes were re-arranged and Tate was moved into Ms. J's class, though along with his best buds which of course included BFF Leo.  I rarely, rarely see Ms. J.  She arrives at 8 and leaves at 4:30.  So feasibly I would get no contact with her during the week.   Once Tate moved out of the infant room there were no longer day sheets sent home with the kids to tell the parents how their day went, how they ate, how they slept etc.  But when he was in the 2 rooms before this past year, his teachers always texted me each day before they left those things.  And if need be we would chat on the phone.  And his teacher in his third classroom, Ms. M, was usually there in the mornings at drop-off, so I could chat with her in the mornings, though I did have her text me how he slept the day of.  Ms. Laura, his immediate past teacher, was there at drop-off and pick-up.  She is an amazing woman;  her life's mission is these children.  She's so loving and caring and kind.  She's the first person there and the last to leave at night.  Tate and I were so blessed to have her in his life this past year.

And now we move on to a new class.  I expressed my concern about not seeing Ms. J at all during the week.  And on the Fridays when I brought  Tate in late to Ms. Laura's class I would frequently see her with her kids (the two teachers share a huge room) she rarely looked up or acknowledged me unlike everyone else who always took time to say hi.  I took her behavior to be standoffish and now I realize she's a bit shy.  

However, before I realized this I was upset.  I enjoy having feedback on Tate's day.  10 hours away from me.  That's an eternity.  I miss his smiles, his laughs, his giggles, his naps, his lunches, his snacks, his playing, his friendships, his whole life for 40 hours a week.  I want to hear how he's doing each day.  Did he do something funny?  Did he have a good time?  Was he in time out?  Did he miss me?  I expressed my concern with our new director (ahhhh!  the reason for the changes!)  They have implemented a folder with day sheets for the teachers to simply mark quickly the basics...how naptime went, how eating went, how behavior was etc.  So every afternoon at pickup I get a brief glimpse of how his day went.  I also made a point to email Ms. J to just go over Tate's food allergies with her and how to do his medications.  She was so sweet and sent me home a note giving me her home and cell phone numbers as we tried to connect during lunch time, but my busy schedule made it impossible initially.  We did finally connect over the phone, and it was a great conversation.  This was when I picked up on her sweet shyness.  And I told her I was not going to be bothering her at home after hours!  She told me it was fine, that she understood how busy I was and that since she was single she had time.  But I'm not going to do it.  Just because a person is single and/or childless does not mean their time is for everyone else.  I've always hated when people assumed that single people have no other  responsibilities in life.  They do.  And they are just as important as raising children, or working or what have you.  

But I digress!

I was very touched by her offer.  We ended up seeing each other in person the first day Tate was in her class fulltime on August 27.  He has done really really well.  He's not napping so great; takes him about 45-60 minutes to fall asleep, so he only sleeps about an hour.  But as he's trying to give up the nap I'm not surprised.  He did spend the week prior to the move in her class room a few hours each day, so he was prepared and ready for the move.  In addition, he's able to see his beloved Ms. Laura on the other side of the room, so I'm sure that helps.

So, I'm actually quite pleased with the move.  It helps that some other parents have complained about Ms. R (eek!) and were upset their kids didn't move to Ms. J's class.  And I think all change is difficult and not just for our kiddos.  It's hard on us parents as well!!  Change...bah!  This is Tate's 5th classroom since he started there now that I think about it!  He started out in the infant room when he was 11 1/2 months old...he moved to the toddler room at 13 months.  Gah!!  I remember how hard that was for me.  I was beside myself worrying he would never learn to sleep on a mat on the floor.  Ms. K texted me a picture that very first day to show me he was sleeping away!  

The picture Ms. Kristal texted me of Tate during
naptime his very first day in her class!!
Sound asleep!!
Sweet, sweet boy!

And Ms. Kristal LOVED her some Baby Tate.  Most of the other kids in her class moved up to Ms.  Melissa's class that January of 2011 but she somehow was able to keep Tate with her until March, which I was fine with because he was clearly her favorite :).  He was with Ms. Melissa from March 2011 until he moved to Ms. Laura's class last August 2011.
And now he's with Ms. JoAnnie....so sweet to hear him call her that.  He's having fun.  He seems happy when I pick him up.  He hasn't cried at drop-off.  All big wins in my book!

And for him the best part is....
THE NEW TRAIN ON THE WALL OUTSIDE HIS CLASSROOM!!!

He was SOOOOOOO excited to see this train on the wall the first day of his new class that he was bouncing up and down!!!

It's a TRAIN Mommy!!  A Train!!!

Look Mommy!!  There's a CABOOSE!!

These pictures with the train sum up his entire first week in Ms. JoAnn's class!!

I also got him a new backpack and lunch kit.  Here are a few pics from at home that same morning of the first day of  PRESCHOOL!!

Can't stop moving!!

New hook for his back-pack!

And for our enjoyment in the new preschool class he has learned to make festive faces from his BFF (or so he says...)

And in another first....Tate was put to bed tonight for the first time by a non-relative!!  I went to a surprise 40th birthday party for my dear friend Nikki.  It was an early celebration...6pm.  And I didn't want to drive all the way to my parents' and drive all the way back into town for the party...which was at a brewery in downtown...all of 7 minutes from my house.  And I didn't want them to drive all the way out here!  And of course Lindsey had festive plans...I would never ask her to sit on a Saturday night!  My other thought was that Tate needs to get comfortable with letting other people put him to bed.  In fact, though he's been babysat by non family members a few times; he's always been asleep.  He's never even met two of the sitters I've used because I've always put him to bed before they arrived! (one is a dear friend's nanny..she's come twice and the other 2 times were with another friend's babysitter!)  So, Ms. Kristal it was!  And though I told him all week she was going to be here and mentioned it several times today, he was sure to tell me earlier today "I want to go with you.  Stay Mommy.'  When all week at school he's been telling her she was coming to play with him tonight.  And he cried when I left and hung on to my shirt.  It was awful, but I gave him to Ms. Kristal and by the time I was downstairs he had stopped.  He was in bed asleep when I got home!

So after all this excitement this week I think I'm going to go join him in slumberland!!