Nighttime Woes on the 20th Day of Advent

The past 4-5 nights have been really difficult for Tate.  I usually get him in the crib between 7-7:15, sometimes earlier on the weekends because his naps tend to run about 30 minutes shorter here at home, so he's usually awake by 1:30pm instead of the 2pm he sleeps to usually at daycare.  Half the time at night he goes right to sleep, the other half he piddles around and tosses and turns for 15 minutes or so.  But the past 4 nights at home (he was at my parents' on Saturday night) he has tossed and turned until at least 8pm.  Yet he still wakes for the day between 5-5:30am.  Even worse he's becoming very agitated around 4am.  He cries out, whines, fusses at the same time now for 4 days.  I've tried letting him just fuss it out as he quiets down every other minute or so, but sometimes I'm just too tired, so I get up and put him in bed with me.  Wherein I get kicked, poked and harassed.  


But here's the thing...his eyes are usually closed.  He seems unaware of his surroundings though he stops the whining and crying if I put him in bed with me.  And since the day he was born 4am has been his sweet spot.  He usually ate every 3 hours during the day as well as night.  At night however he would go down at 7pm and sleep until 12:30/1am starting the day he turned 6w1d.  Then he would be back up at 4am for his next feeding.  At the 1am feeding he would eat and go right back to sleep, no fuss no muss.  But that 4am feeding cycle was an absolute disaster.  He always, always had a really hard time going back to sleep.  And as a non-CIO mommy I ended up rocking him, walking with him you name it as did my mother when she was here to help me.  Worse I went back to work when he was 9 weeks old and had to get up around 5:45am to get ready.  So, I lived in a state of exhaustion!  He just had a hard time going back to sleep though he usually would but he would be up for his day the same time I woke up with a smile on his face.


Fast forward to 2y4m28d old and we're back to this damn 4:00am business.  Sleep has never been Tate's strong suit as he just doesn't need as much as all the books say he should need.  Rarely do I have the witching hour in the evening and I rarely have an overtired child because I am so very protective of his sleep.  He has never, ever missed a nap whether I had to have him nap in the car or stroller or in the Moby Wrap.  Not one.  I've laid with him, I've held him while he screamed because he didn't want to nap, I've lost my temper because he didn't want to sleep, yet he always, always fell asleep.  Always.  And when he has a short nap he's in bed early to compensate.  


So what is going on?  His daycare teacher thinks he may be squirming about because he needs to pee.  But he doesn't pee.  He has woken up dry from overnight sleep for the past 3 1/2 months with maybe 2 times of urinating.  And this is nothing I've done to have him do this.  And when he wakes in the morning I don't put him on the potty right away;  usually it's about 30 minutes after he's awakened and he doesn't usually pee until I sit him on it (say 6 days out of 7).  


To make  matters worse my plan is to take away his pacifiers on Monday, the 26th.  I've really been talking up how Santa is going to take his sue-ys and give them to all the new babies who need them.  I try to make sure he knows he will be keeping his hippo lovey.  I cannot imagine going into this with sleep issues at the outset.  Should I?  Thoughts?  He's developing a unilateral cross-bite, so the pacifiers need to go, but at what psychological, physical and emotional price for Tate at this point?  Me and my upcoming more lack of sleep is not my concern;  I'm old enough to deal with that.  Part of the motherhood job.  And as attached as he is I foresee this taking some time to adjust to, but I'm just worried that we're going into this sleep deprived.  I am going to try to get him to bed early over the Christmas weekend to try to make up for the sleep he's missing right now.  He is starting to exhibit the effects of the not sound sleep from this 4am 'wake-up'.  He whined and cried at drop-off this morning when he had to wait for everyone else to be ready to go play and apparently this afternoon around 4pm he just went all-a-weeping because he couldn't play with the Thomas trains because his class had an activity to do.  Ms. L had him sit by her after a while because he just kept a-crying.  That is not normal Tate behavior, so it surprised her as well as me.  I know it's because he's so tired and unable to cope with disappointments when he's so exhausted.


Is it nightmares?  Dreams?  Does he miss me and thus he's subconsciously crying out for me to get him which is why he relaxes once in bed with me though he still moves about.  I just don't know.  


I'm up for any and all suggestions, thoughts and commiseration.


In other festive news, we opened an Elmo book this evening on the 20th day of Advent.  Big smiles!

That Woman on the 17th, 18th and 19th Days of Advent

A quick review of the past 3 days of Advent:

Day 16....Tate spent the night with my parents so I could go to our Annual Tribal White Elephant Party at the always fabulous Bryan's abode!  Urban Tribe we call ourselves...a group of about 20 of us who come together as often as we can...some with kids, some without, some married, some single, some divorced, some straight, some gay...but all with alot of love for each other.  We're spreading out more as we have kids, get divorced or miss our families far away, but there's that foundation of love and who could ask for more.  I just love these people...they are my village.  Someday I'll write about how I was enfolded into the tribe as I'm one of the last to have 'joined.'  

So on the 16th day of Advent we did our present opening a bit early.  I just chose a book for Tate and took it with me to my parents'. We opened it before I left.  The Maisy Sticker Book was a bit hit for my sweet boy.  I was then off to get ready for the par-tay, and Tate had a great time with his Grandmommy and Papa who actually slept with him...a real boys' night!!

We came home yesterday, the 17th day of Advent in the early evening after attending the amazing Really Really Big Christmas Show.  I cannot wait to share those pictures and videos.  It was held at the huge Second Baptist Church here.  Tate had an awesome time.  He was just enthralled.  But as is evidenced by his appearance in these pics he was exhausted yesterday evening.  He opened another Maisy Christmas book and that brought a smile.

Tonight once again brought smiles, though it's soooo hot here in Houston.  It's just under 70 degrees and it's 10:15 at NIGHT!!  However tonight's book was simply tossed aside...it was the story of the birth of Jesus.  Granted though the pictures of the characters are a bit creepy...that's what happens when you buy online without being able to really see what you're getting!!

For some odd reason, blogger is not letting me post videos that I've taken on a camera...they have to be taken with my Flip or my iPhone.  Extremely frustrating for me as the last 3 days I used my camera to take the videos.  Hopefully I'll get it worked out soon.

Today is the beginning of the Christmas vacation for most of the schools, so work is going to be crazy the next couple of weeks.  Just something else I never realized about being a pediatric dentist...gotta work when the kids are off.  All the parents are off with their kiddos and want to come to the dentist/doctor then hang out with their kiddos.  Well me too.  Someday....  

If I had known then what I know now about this profession I often wonder if I would have done it.  Had I known I was going to be an SMC would I have done it?  I do know this, all these degrees later, if I was married or partnered I know I would opted to stay home for 2-3 years and taken the financial hit. Of course this is predicated on my partner/husband being on board with that and financially secure enough for doing so.  But I so would have been one of those women I scorned in my mid-late 20s as I was going through dental school.  'What kind of woman goes to school for 10 years past high school and just stays home and raises kids?  What does that say to HER daughters?'  Now I know who does it...me.  And it says to her daughters, AND sons...I love you above all else and this relationship is more important than any amount of money.  

I would love to be that woman.

CT Scans, Butt Paste and the 15th and 16th Days of Advent...Oh My!!

I got some very good news today!!  I had a CT scan run today of my abdomen; a follow-up to the pain I was having 6 weeks ago which prompted me to see my ob-gyn to check out my girly parts.  At that appointment my ovaries were fine in my ob-gyn's opinion ever mindful of the cysts that usually reside in my ovaries.  But she cautioned me that if the pain didn't dissipate I needed to follow up with a GI doc as I did last week which led me to the oh-so-festive colonoscopy last Saturday.  Those results were thankfully negative for any issues save some internal hemorrhoids, so Dr. S (my GI guy) recommended a CT scan to rule out anything on the 'outside' of my bowels etc.  Hence, my trek back to the hospital today.  2 HUGE containers of the most disgustingly thick, nasty, creamy, goopy, supposedly berry flavored liquid later I had my CT scan.  And the effects....so unpleasant.  And of course I had to go back to work...bah.  And with my huge deductible, not working is not an option...this was the lovely sum of $1264 out of my pocket.  Anyway, I survived though I may borrow some of Tate's Boudreaux's Butt Paste before I go to bed tonight!  Dr. S called and left me a message this evening saying there were no masses or tumors present!!!  Such amazingly good news!!!  He could see the cysts in/on? my ovaries as well as what he called an fat-filled umbilical hernia which he seemed to say shouldn't cause any problems.  He believes my discomfort and pain is coming from adhesions secondary to my c-section!!  I need to call him back on Monday, but per our previous conversation short of exploratory surgery no treatment is needed.  And I am definitely not on board with exploratory surgery at this point.  The pain has definitely lessened and it's not constant.  It's worse when it's hurting when I get up in the morning or when I've been sitting for an extended period of time, and it's definitely more obvious when I'm on my period or ovulating.  But we'll see what he says on Monday.


And I'm ecstatic.  So happy.  Though I know we're not 100% sure of the problem I feel in my heart and soul that it is from the healing of my c-section.  That was so horrible for me, and someday I'll have to write Tate's birth story, at least what I remember of it.  


But tonight I am content.  And just exhausted.  Besides the fact that Tate had me up this morning at 3:09am for some unknown reason and then fidgeted in bed with me until 5:46am I'm emotionally exhausted.  I probably haven't let on to many people how very scared I was.  I don't think I had admitted it to myself.  The idea of something being really wrong with me and jeopardizing Tate's upbringing almost had me paralyzed I think.  I've been eating everything in sight because that's healthy and conducive to my weight loss needs and cholesterol issues.  So much for my previous declaration of working on my weight;  this really derailed me.  Which in and of itself could be making my issues so much worse.  What a never ending cycle this is!


But for this moment this evening I need to lay down and thank God I am ok.  And I shall go from here, extra weight and all.


Today, since I had to work my parents took Tate to his swimming lessons.  This was his last time in this session with this teacher.  And his last time to take lessons with one of us in the pool with him!!  He got a little certificate outlining his accomplishments in the pool!!!


And Advent.  Waiting for the birth of our Savior.  Anticipation.  Every night I am almost giddy waiting for Tate to open his book!  I'm so enjoying this.  Last night, the 15th day of Advent, he opened a Max and Ruby book which he seemed to enjoy.  Tonight he opened 'A Star for Jesus'...didn't go over as well.  He was clamoring for me to read his Thomas Christmas book as well as 'The Little Drummer Boy.'  That last one he needed to hear twice.  My heart is full.

The 15th Day of Advent...having so much fun...

And today, the 16th Day of Advent...

All Quiet on the 14th Day of Advent

This evening was an uneventful, quiet evening in the Cunningham household.  Tate was thrilled to open a Thomas book, and sat for the entire reading of it (these are long, wordy books).  He then sing-songed his favorite word....AAAA-GA-IINN.  Then I read/sang 'The Little Drummer Boy.'  He is just loving that book.


Sadly, I can't figure out my new camera..my Christmas gift to myself...a Canon Rebel T2i something or other.  I tried videotaping with it tonight with no luck whatsoever.  I guess I'm going to have to read the 150 pages of instructions...sigh.  So no video tonight, but some cute pics.  Also a couple of my little elf!

My Little Drummer Boy on the 13th Day of Advent

I was a huge fan of Ezra Jacks Keats when I was growing up.  From 'Hi Cat' to 'The Snowy Day' I loved his all of his books.  As a child I don't think I realized, actually I know I didn't realize that it was because Peter, the main character, was black.  Here was a little boy doing regular little boy things, but he was black, colored like me!  I don't recall having all that many books with characters of color as the main character.  Think about it...all the princesses, elves, little children in our favorite childhood stories...how many were black?  I'm not talking about the books my parents went in search of, but the ones sold at the Barnes and Noble of the 70s.  Yeah not so many.  Certainly, my dolls were always the black version.  I had the Christie doll (as well as Barbie), but I also had Christie's boyfriend, Curtis.  My Baby-That-A-Way was black as were most of baby dolls.  Babies that looked just like me, and I loved it.  I actually preferred it.  That much I do remember.  But books...not as many options.

But there was Ezra Jack Keats and Peter.  'A Letter to Amy'  and that 'Hi Cat.'  Loved them.  Just sitting here typing this brings back so many warm memories...not the kind where I can see myself sitting down with my mom while she read them to me, though I know she must have.  But the kind where I just feel so good and wistful.  I actually have tears in my eyes with the memories, that warmth of an amazing childhood, and I did have an amazing childhood;  I have some pretty amazing parents.

So when I found Ezra Jack Keats' 'The Little Drummer Boy' I just had to get it for Tate.  The song 'The Little Drummer Boy is probably my most adored 'secular' Christmas song.  I simply love it.  I could listen to it all day long.  I especially enjoy Whitney Houston's version.  I cry every single time I hear this song by anyone. 

Last night, Tate opened up this book.  My heart just melted with joy.  He wasn't over the top thrilled with it, the illustrations are not 'toddler' friendly, and they're very muted.  But that is Ezra Jacks Keats...understated beauty, that a 2 year old may not appreciate, but his 44 year old mother certainly does.  I gathered Tate up and read him his Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Christmas story as requested while we rocked, and then I open up 'The Little Drummer Boy' and sang it to him softly as I turned the pages.  Amidst my own tears, Tate sat enthralled.  He lay with his head on my chest, his arms out as if to absorb all the beauty of the book and song and just sat entranced.  We sang/read the book 4 times at his request.  Then we turned out the lights and I sang it to him one more time with him curled up on my shoulder as I rocked a bit more.  Pure bliss.

This morning as we were getting ready to go to work/daycare I sat down with him on our living room couch.  He was having a moment of some sort for reasons only a 2 year old knows.  (though I suspect the cat knows because he scampered out of the room pretty quickly as soon as I came in to see what the whining was about)   I picked Tate up and lay his head on my shoulder and asked if he wanted to hear 'The Little Drummer Boy'.  He nodded yes, so I sang it a couple of times.  No more tears. 

I then told him I would find my CD with the song on it.  Sadly, Tate himself has made such a disaster of all my CDs I couldn't find it :(  He kept saying 'I wanna hear Rum Pum Pum.'  

My little drummer boy.  

Green Eggs and Ham? The 12th Day of Advent

Well, Tate won't be having eggs of any sort anytime soon...no green ones, no scrambled ones, no boiled ones...nada!  We made a pilgrimage to the allergist this morning for a follow-up test to his egg and orange allergies.  In addition, he was tested for about 25 environmental allergens.  Yep, the little pin-prick test and he did GREAT!! Not a tear, not a fuss!!  I was shocked!  What a trooper this little boy is.  In any event, we were there for almost 2 hours.  Unfortunately he tested positive for both the egg and orange, so none of that for the next year, and he also tested positive for an allergy to CATS!!  But nothing else...not dust mites, any of the molds/spores we tested for, none of the trees etc we tested for.  But cats!  Our poor Vinnie is being banished from our room :(.  However the doc did say that since Tate's runny nose is not a consistent thing and that it seems to occur during the height of allergy seasons...March/April and October/November he most likely is not truly allergic to Vincent, maybe other cats, but not Vincent.   I'm to try to keep a good log of when he seems congested and presenting with a productive cough enough that I start him on Zyrtec. He may have tested positive simply because he has been sensitized to Vinnie/cats.  His eczema may be the only symptom he exhibits, but even that is so much better, so who knows.  So for now Vinnie is home.  Tate was a great patient.  He didn't cry or have any meltdowns at all.  He was happy to play with the toys they had as well as all the toys I brought from home. I also came prepared with 2 changes of clothes for both of us in case we did an actual food challenge which resulted in any vomiting, lots of burp cloths for wiping up messes, scrambled and boiled egg all for naught as he didn't pass the skin test.  But he's a happy little boy and in the grand scheme of issues he could have this is nothing!! 

Sweet baby...if you look at the left side of his back that top welt is the reaction to cats (the one below it that's so big is the control).  To the right is the egg reaction, smaller but definitely present.

Ready to go home!!

All tuckered out!

We ventured over to Texas ENT to see our ENT, my old friend Jim Grant from college.  I had called him that morning when I realized that the allergist's office was right next door to his office!!  He put Tate's tubes in June 15, 2010.  He's just great, and I've always just adored him!  I've also found that there are times that being able to preface your name with Doctor is a really good thing.  We walked into a full waiting room at 11:05am, and I simply said to the front desk lady "I'm Dr. Cunningham, I'm just stopping by to see Dr. Grant, I talked to him this morning" with a smile.  And boom!  "Yes Ma'am, let me call his nurse ma'am."  And voila!  We just meandered on back and got to spend a few minutes with Jim who couldn't let the opportunity pass to check out Tate's ears!  The left tube is out of the ear drum, and the right one will probably be coming out soon, but so far so good for Tate and no ear infections!!  It was just great to see one of my oldest friends in the world!


I loaded Tate back up in the car and we made our way back into town;  he fell asleep as I knew he would by 11:25, so I drove slowly, got some lunch at Chick-Fil-A, ate in the parking lot and slowly made my way back home.  He was able to sleep until 1!  We came home and played a bit, got him some lunch.  I offered him a run to the grocery store and the playground with me or the moonwalk/slide at daycare with his friends...guess which he chose.  I dropped him, ran to the store, came home and made some chili then went to pick him up 1 1/2 hours later.  I walked in just as he was about to go outside with  his class.  He took one look at me and burst in loud, heaving sobs.  So I left him to play with his friends a bit longer.  How lucky am I that he loves his school, his teacher, his friends so much!!

Since he had an early nap, I wanted to have him in bed earlier tonight, and he was.  I had him in his crib at 6:41pm.  He was out within 10-15 minutes.  Today was the 12th day of the celebration of Advent.  He chose a gorgeous book tonight.  It is called 'The Story of Christmas'.  It seems to be based on the version told in Luke, the one everyone knows, and it's simply and beautifully told in toddler-understandable words.  And most importantly, all the characters are black.  I couldn't be more pleased.  Tate may not understand the importance of this at his young age, but I do, I do.  One day he will too.

Oh!  Tate was weighed and measured today!  29.4 pounds and 36.2 inches!!  Tall and lean!!  Love him!

Pillows on the 11th Day of Advent

This afternoon, I took Tate into our room at my parents' to put him down for his nap.  Our usual naptime 'routine' is a much abbreviated version of our nighttime routine.  I turn on his lullaby music and white noise machine, read him one story, rock him about 3-4 minutes then put him in the crib to fall asleep.  Today however, my little boy had other plans.  I turned on the music and machine, then turned to ask him what book he wanted me to read.  He in turn told me he wanted a pillow in the crib, so I grabbed one off the bed.  He then lifted his leg as if to climb INTO the crib.  I asked him if he wanted to just go to sleep without a story or me holding him and he said yes!!!  I was shocked and admittedly a bit hurt that he didn't seem to 'need' me.  I put him on in the crib and told him I loved him and walked on out.  15 minutes later he was sound asleep.   I joined him about 30 minutes later! What a lovely way to spend the mid-afternoon :)  Though I did miss the Texans game!  My team is going to the playoffs for the first time in franchise history.  I have been a staunch Texans fan since the team became a franchise in 2002.  I was a big David Carr fan and I've continued my support though they have sorely tested my patience.  And though I haven't gone to a game in a few years, nor do I watch on tv now that Tate is here (no tv for him!) I'm always going online to check the score, or actually now I can just check FB for everyone else's updates!  I may have to give in and turn the tv on on Sunday afternoons and catch a few games; and rest assured our play-off games will be on!!

After our nap we loaded up the car and headed back into town with a stop at Hermann Park so Tate could ride the train.  He loves doing this.  I bundled him up and we were on for a ride around the park.

So this is the 11th day of Advent.  We're continuing our book opening tradition.  And he's still loving it! We talk about it almost being Jesus' birthday and how we're just waiting with hope and anticipation.   We'll even be baking a birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas Eve!  Tate really seems to understand birthday parties; well maybe not their true intent, but he gets all excited about them, so I think this will go over well with him and in time he will truly understand what Christmas is all about.