Another Person in the House

I looked back at Tate's empty car seat the other day as I was making a turn after dropping him off at school.  Seeing that empty car seat just reminded me of how much I love have another person in my presence almost all the time.

I'm loving raising this 6 1/2 year old little boy.  I'm loving having someone around in the house to talk to, hang out with, play with and simply enjoy being with.  I don't think I ever really thought about how much I would enjoy having another human being share my life with me.  

I simply love sharing this thing I call life with Tate.  Our relationship of companionship brings me joy, peace, happiness, completeness in a sense.  I so like having him around :).

And I know he won't always be around.  That the more he grows up, each day that passes is another day closer to when he won't be around.  Oh, he certainly cannot fathom ever not living with me....he said as much just the other day.  He intends to live with me forever.  Though in some selfish way that makes me smile and wish it could be so, I know that that's just not going to happen.  At some point, sooner than later, he's going to be ready to have his own space, his own life that's not to intricately tied to mine.

I don't want him to feel he is abandoning me though.  That's one of the reasons I work so hard to maintain my friendships and spend time with those I love outside of my relationship with Tate.  It's so very easy to let our mother/child relationship overshadow absolutely everything.  There are weekends when he and I see noone but each other or do absolutely everything together, and we love it.  For now that's no pressure on him, but in years to come it might become pressure that he isn't even aware he's feeling. 

I pray I'm laying the foundation for a strong relationship between the two of us no matter how far apart we are in physical distance (though I won't lie...I hope he settles in the same city I reside in when he's older).  I'm hoping that this need he has for being with me all the time, this wanting to be a dad himself first and foremost, is building the groundwork for him to realize how very important family is.  

For now though I'm really enjoying mothering this little boy.  I'm loving our banter, our conversations, our 'debates', our lives together.  He's becoming this person whom I enjoy being around.  I can't even remember what it was like before he was in my life.  

My house is a home because of him.