LOVE

I'm overwhelmed tonight with how very much I love my sweet little boy.

My sweet sweet boy.

I am bowled over with how incredible sweet he is.  

He's kind.  He's funny.  He's loving.  He's thoughtful.  He's sweet.

He has the best heart.

He feels.  Goodness he feels.  He feels huge.  He wears his heart on his sleeve.

He's easily hurt.  So easily hurt.

I can see it happen immediately...that hurt.  He crumples up inside and out and it breaks my heart.

His gentle spirit cracks just a bit each time he's hurt.

Each time I hurt him.

I'm far from the most patient person.  

I'm far from the most patient mother.

When he's just being a normal 4 year old and I want to get us out of the house he gets his feelings hurt.

When I ask him or tell him to do something and he's distracted or simply doesn't want to listen at that moment, and I get upset, he gets his feelings hurt.

Over the past month I've realized what a genuinely sweet little person I have living in this house with me.  He's thrown one fit, one fit, in a store in his entire life.  He has yet to talk back to me in public or gotten angry at me.  He is the child who strives to do what he's told by authority figures.  He loves the kids who are the meanest or roughest with him.  And he's so gentle.  So gentle.  He doesn't destroy his belongings in any way, shape or form.  I'm just so very lucky.

Many will say it's most likely the way I've raised him.

I say it's just who he is.

Because I'm quick to get upset.  I'm quick to count to 3 to get proper behavior.  I'm quick to raise my voice (though I desperately try not to yell).  

I want to continue to establish boundaries for him, yet in a more loving manner.  A manner which embraces his sweet, gentle spirit.  I'm learning to count to 3 for myself to get proper parenting behavior. 

I'm most overwhelmed with how much he loves me.  I watch him look for me and how his eyes light up when he finds me in a crowded room.  

I want to always be his safe place.  When he's 14 and beyond 'over his mother' I want him to know deep down that I'm his safe place.  When he's 16 and he's struggling I want him to look for me even if he doesn't know he's looking for me.

I want to honor all that he is.  

My beautiful boy.