Mother's Day 2013

This is my 5th year celebrating Mother's Day as a mom.  Oh yes, I consider that first year in May 2009 when I was quite pregnant with Tate to be my first Mother's Day.  To mother is to care and protect.  I was fiercely protective of my Tate from the moment I got pregnant.  I spent those first 9 days before I knew I was pregnant doing anything and everything I could to get that little embryo to implant...slurping down fresh pineapple, avoiding alcohol, resting, yoga, you name it.  I was caring for that little boy from October 24, 2008 to now and for always.  Always.

We have quiet, uneventful Mother's Days in our family.  We don't go out to eat; never have.  We don't do big lunches or dinner; well mostly because there were only 5 of us.  Mother's Day routinely fell around graduation or the end of school with finals et. al.  

Actually though, I don't think any of us girls 'got' it.  Our mom was so, so much everything that we were spoiled rotten and didn't realize how special she was/is.  Oh she knew we loved her, but we never insisted on the special lunches or dinners.  My dad figured she was our mom, we should take care of her on Mother's Day.  (I suppose he has yet to figure out he might want to appreciate her for being the mother of his amazing daughters!!! But I digress.)  However, in the past 10 years I believe we've gotten it.  This women is amazing.  She raised three young black women starting in the 60s with no solid example of what a mother is.  I take that back.  Her mother loved her and her 4 siblings enough to leave an abusive marriage and send her children to live with family since she couldn't support 5 children in NYC in the 40s and 50s as a single woman, a single black woman at that.  Not many women in those days would leave an abusive situation, but my strong, proud grandmother stood up for herself and her children.  She worked her ass off in NYC alone to support herself and help support her children from whom she was separated.  And those kids knew she loved them.  When I came along and realized my mom's family history I never would have known my great aunt raised my mom and 2 of the siblings from the way they loved and adored their mom.  So my mom knew how to be a great mom...she was a mama bear.  She stayed up with us typing our papers, doing spelling words, making up quizzes and tests for us to practice, loved our friends, let our friends run away to our house...you name it she's amazing.

My mommy and daddy in the early 1960s

On their 40th anniversary (we threw
them a surprise party!) in 2005.

My hot mommy 2 weeks ago
strolling on the beach in
Puerto Rico!  Can't believe she'll
be 72 in August!!!

Mother's Day 2013

Mother's Day 2011 

Hanging in NYC with her sister and her twin grandbabies
who are just one week older than my Tate.  May 2011

Surprise party at my house for my mom's 70th Birthday!

She was so very happy! 

Isn't she beautiful?

This Mother's Day weekend I decided to do something different.  I planned to take my mom for tea at St. Regis.  It is absolutely yummy!!!  Two of my girlfriends threw one of my baby showers here for me, and that was the last time I had been (I used to be blessed enough to go once a year or so!).  Anyway, my two closest and dearest friends came with us to help us all celebrate our Mother's Day!  Tate's godmother, Shelley came and my sweet friend, Palmi!  We had a fantastic afternoon.  It was just lovely!

Shelley, my mom and me :)

 

Three of my favorite women!

Saturday morning Lindsey took Tate shopping to buy a present for me.  So cute.  (Though I did have to suggest it.)  I want Tate to learn to be giving.  And I don't mean just materially, but at the age of 3 that's really all he can grasp.  He's not the best at sharing;  he gets upset when the cat sits near his trains...we are working on this.  But I was sickened to hear from a friend that she was buying her boyfriend's mother flowers and sending them to her because it would never occur to him to do something for his mother for Mother's Day.  I'm sure he'll call her, and it's just one day, but if he can't do something special on this one day when else will he?  In any event, in my opinion Tate needs the opportunity to do for me sometimes and if that means on my birthday, Mother's Day and Christmas someone has to take him to Target or the florist at my behest, then so be it.  He doesn't owe me by any means, but I want him to experience the joy of giving.  Because I truly truly enjoy giving to him be it hugs and kisses or a new Thomas train.  It makes me happy to see him happy.  I want him to learn that happiness doesn't just come from getting, getting, getting.  Real joy comes from giving.

We spent the afternoon in Macy's buying him a new mattress for his double bed.  It'll arrive in a couple of weeks.  That will be worthy of 3 or 4 posts of its own once I get his room ready.  He already plans on me sleeping downstairs with him.  

We hung out at home this morning, skipping church to do so.  Then we went on to my parents' for the afternoon.  Lindsey met us there, and she then took my mom for a manicure while Tate and I hung out with Papa.  Tate rode and his bike with Papa to the park with the intent of letting me rest, alone, for a few minutes, but Tate had other ideas and they returned within 10 minutes.  I took him back to the park a little while later.

 

This is Tate's gift for me he made in school.  Let me amend
that;  his teacher made it for me :)  She is so awesome.  This
took alot of time and energy for her to do for each of her 5
students.  She's not a mother herself, but she is a mother for
my Tate for the 10 hours I'm apart from him when I have to
be at work.  We are so blessed to have her in his life. (These
pictures are laminated on the back of a wooden puzzle board.)
I absolutely love it!

This evening Tate and I headed off to dinner on our way home.  We went to our 'usual' and he gobbled up lots of french fries.  Yum Yum!  

Tonight he's sleeping away in my bed happy snug as a bug in a rug.  

What better way to sleep on this Mother's Day night than with my sweet little boy tucked into my arms?  

I thank God everyday for trusting me to mother this soul.

And for all the amazing mothers in this world I end this with an excerpt from this post from Amy Young:

"To those who gave birth this year to their first child - we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year - we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains - we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away - we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment - we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms - we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children - we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heartache, and distance with your children - we sit with you...

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood - we are better for having you in our midst...

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children - we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

To those who step-parent - we walk with you on these complex paths...

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising - we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you."