Handy Man. I have some wonderful male friends, thank goodness. Tate's godfather is one of my dearest, dearest friends. I cannot imagine my life without him. He makes me laugh, cry, take stock of myself and just enjoy my life more. He lives in another state, and Tate has never met him. We have been friends for 26 years having met in college. I've seen him through more relationships than I can count and he has been there for me through my heartbreaks as well. And through it all, we've always been just friends. The best of friends. I trust him more than anyone else I know actually. So much so that if my sister, Lindsey and my parents are unable to care for Tate he will go live with his godfather, his wife and their 2 kids. He's a role model I want Tate to have; I desperately wish he lived closer.
But here in Houston, we have some amazing male friends as well. Two of my favorites came over and saved the day yet again for me today. My bedroom (that I share with Tate) ceiling fan/light was hanging by a thread and has been for over a month. (having been jerry-rigged back together in November by Christian as he was racing to catch his flight back to Germany). I saw Mike on Friday night and showed him the fixture asking if he thought it needed to be fixed ASAP. He said probably sooner would be better, but he thought I was ok. Lo and behold he texted me today to say he and Bryan were coming over to fix me up today. These are the same two awesome guys who put together Tate's crib when I was 9 months pregnant and put up all 3 of my baby gates. They were here an hour and a half. When they weren't able to fix it to their liking they apologized all over the place saying they would come back asap...I just have to get a new fan. They're just great. Even now as I type this I'm brought to tears by how well they care for Tate and me. I'm beyond blessed that he has them in his life, not only to show him how to do boy things, but to demonstrate men and friendship. They as well as all the other guys in 'our tribe' are just good men. They love their wives, their children, their families, their friends. We all look out for each other. That's why we call ourselves a tribe. And I'm so lucky to be part of that.
So, having had them here today made me wish I had a partner. I hate having to ask favors like this all the time though I know they really didn't mind. But it's times like this that make me wonder 'what if?'
Granted I love not having to share Tate with anyone...LOVE IT! But I would like to share my life with someone. I have to remember...my life is spread out before me with many many years left. But of course I'm impatient...now would be best in my opinion.
Tate had a great time with Bryan and Mike. He pulled his little tool station out to help. He had Mike reading him books, climbed the ladder with Bryan and encouraged Mike to take some breaks during the work time. He's changing every single day. He recognizes the color yellow now. He loves skyping with Grandmommy and Granddaddy; we also regularly skype with our friends Silke and Annabelle in NYC still. He can say Annabelle amazingly well. He says banana, tree, airplane, yellow, outside (he even stood by our balcony door last weekend and said outside, outside, so out we went and did bubbles). He says bubbles, more (all the time). He now eats cheerios in a bowl with milk after gobbling mine up yesterday and this morning. He moved up to the next class in school and has done great. He sits at the little table and chairs and eats his lunch and snacks. I was worried he would try to eat other kids' food, but so far so good and his teachers watch him like a hawk. He had his first sno-cone this past Friday while at daycare. It was blue-coconut. YUM! I had a hair appointment, and I have finally given myself permission to take him to school for lunch and naptime, so I can get some things done that would totally bore him...doctors' and hair appointments, boring shopping. He gets to spend 20 or 30 minutes eating with friends and he naps the rest of the time. Every once in a while I do it; I feel guilty most of the time, but know it's the best thing for both of us.
So, as I sit here tonight watching my beautiful boy on the monitor, typing this I wish I had someone to come kiss me on the head and say 'let's go on up to sleep, hon.' I'm certainly not lonely, but I feel my aloneness the most these times right before sleep. Then morning comes, and Tate is in his crib. His face lights up when he sees my face. He reaches down to grab his hippo and his teddy bear and reaches out for me. We cuddle for just a minute and it's just perfect. Me and my baby. Life is good.
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| Bathtime fun!! |
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| Helping Uncle Bryan find the right tools today! |
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| Taking a break with Uncle Mike |
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| Tate has his tool station ready! |
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| 20 months old!! |
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| Life is simply amazing!!! |
2 comments:
Loneliness happens to the best of us. I just wrote a similar post to this one and found it reassuring that even SMCs still want someone to share their lives with. Everyone wants a partner and I'm sure you'll find yours.
Oh, my goodness, I was just composing a similar post in my head as I cleaned the house. I sat down to type it but first checked my fellow bloggers. You are not alone (no pun intended). I think most of us would be lying to ourselves and others if we said that these thoughts did not find us once and awhile. Thanks for sharing.
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